Question

[NAS123]

How can you stop being needy after you have been broken up for a year?

[Illusion24]

You never stop being needy...you just stop wanting to feel sorry for yourself

[beatjunkies]

I dont think there is a set time.. You still feel the same way after a year about your ex ? I am on month 5 of feeling this way and it sucks.. I dont really feel needy but I still want my ex back even though she has another b/f... Just try to work on other things in life. Its hard though ! I guess one day you will finally say " Hey i have to get over this" but until then its going to be the same. Thats just what I think though.

 

Take care

[Puma]

you stop being needy once you slap yourself and realize it aint worth it to feel that way!

harsh but true..think about it. you are in control of your own emotions..because you feel needy is your own fault, so you change that.

 

how?

 

ok good question, start to change your thoughts..make it a habit to think differently of your situation..i guarentee you that eventually before you know it..you will be over it. what ahve you got to lose? just try thinkin differently for once and dont dwell in the past..its over, you cant change what happened yesterday! "focus on today for a good tomorrow"

 

and if that dont motivate you enough here's another fact: NO ONE LIKES A NEEDY PERSON

[NAS123]

Thanks guys for the replies!

 

All of you are right. I just think that after we broke up(and I am the one that intiated things) that maybe we could be friends...and then I wanted him back again. It's been like that for a year. He has just recently told me that he has feelings for me, however, he doesn't want to be in a commited relationship..with anyone. I don't know if he is lying...but that's what he said.

 

The problem here is that we were friends (so I thought) for the year after we broke up. It's weird though because he never told me this until now...and he actually tries to avoid me. I care for him..and things are different now...and i have told him this...but why can't we at least be friends?

 

I know I have to get over this ...i just need to be strong.

[jiggaman]

NAS123-

 

why did you break up with him? What makes u think things will be different this time around? have you practiced any sort of No Contact to come to grips with your true feelings for him?

[NAS123]

Thanks, Jiggaman for your reply.

 

Well, I broke up with him because after 7 months I felt that he still didn't know what he wanted. Plus, it was a long distance relationship...but we would be on the phone for hours. I asked him where this was going and he said "he didn't know...we'll see what happens". I had already fallen for him, therefore, i was scared. So, i broke up with him.

 

Another issue was that he had been cheated on badly by his ex. So, I knew he has some issues there.

 

I did practice no contact with him for about a month - a month and a half. But i gave in and called. We then started talking more. My feelings started to grow for him and he even started to act like my boyfriend---started to get jealous, and call me more.

 

So, after a few months I asked him what's going on....he would try to make me jealous with this girl but at the same time get jealous when i mentioned something about a guy..any guy.

 

now he says the timing is not right...but he has feelings for me. how could that be?

 

He has been distancing himself..he says that he wants to be friends...but i don't think so. I care about him...and i want him to be happy...with or with out me.

 

what do you think i should do?

[Puma]

basically what he is doin..is feedin you a bunch of BULL!! cause take me for example..im not looking to be in a committed relationship either, but of course if the right woman were to come along...then i wouldnt think about it over and over. hes just not that into you right now is what hes tryin to indirectly tell ya. go out and party girl!! have fun and dont stress too much..its not worth it

[NAS123]

Yeah, I guess you right. I think that he is mad at me because I broke up with him. He can be mean at times also.

 

I have decided to change my number and move on anyways.

[jiggaman]

NAS

 

definately cut out all contact with this guy!!! a long distance relationship will never work because thats a huge commitment and odviously he doesnt know what the heck he wants. let him miss u and wonder who your hangin out with...if and when he starts contacting you, approach with caution...sounds like he has a jealous streak in him and i dont know if you can be totally sure what his motives are because jealousy brings out so many emotions..

[sleeplessincnd]

Originally posted by Puma

hes just not that into you right now

 

 

Puma is right - he's just not that into you. Be classy.

 

Unless he beats down your door, brings you flowers and begs to you to take him back, find someone who is that into you.

 

And even if he does do all those things there is someone out there who thinks you are stellar and won't break your heart even once so why would you give this idiot another chance to?

 

He's just not that into you - but there are tonnes of men are so get out there so they can come find you!

[NAS123]

You are right! Thanks for the reply!

 

I wanted to be friends with him but i guess that's not a good idea either...right?

[RecordProducer]

1.Use the method of auto-suggestion. Whenever you remember your ex, repeat in your head "It's over! It's Over!" until you start thinking about something else. If you catch yourself thinking about the ex again, start the same technique again.

 

2. Make a list of his faults and stuff he did that hurt you. read it until you remember all things by heart.

 

3. make a list of what you would like from a partner and compare it to your ex.

 

4. Put your profile on dating sites and start meeting new people.

 

5. Find yourself a new hobby.

 

6. Engage yourself in something fun and useful.

 

7. Exercise, go shopping, read a good book or magazines. Call all your forgotten friends and ask them to get together.

 

8. Start writing a book about your life...