Mz. Pixie Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 Most of you know my story- divorce almost final, been seeing this guy for several months since my separation, things are pretty serious. He was married for four years total- from marriage to divorce-18 months of that was her having an affair. They have been divorced a little over a year. I have never really been able to figure out a timeline on their relationship. I've never really asked him to give me one but you know how women are. So he has to have a home repair two weeks ago. A major one. His house is fairly new so I'm saying that there should be something in his papers that might cover this. He was calculating how old the house was. So he says I got married in ______of 2000 and my son was born in _______ of 2000 and we were in the house when he was born. I'm adding it up in my head and it's not nine months, obviously she was pregnant before they got married. So, I just come out and ask him and he said yes, that she was. He explained the wedding was already scheduled and planned and she ended up pregnant before the actual wedding date. I was a little upset that he hadn't told me this before. It doesn't really matter but I feel like now he was hiding it from me. He didn't understand why I cared because the marriage is over, and that was way before he met me. He said, you never asked so it isn't like I lied about it, I just didn't think it mattered. It didn't matter that it happened, only that he hadn't told me that- when I thought he'd told me everything. So, I asked him if there was anything else he was leaving out and he said no. I said, "Anything else I need to know" and he said no. Am I being silly letting this bother me? I don't want it to fester as a trust issue if no one else would have been bothered by it. I've asked a couple of friends and I get conflicting answers so here I am at LS asking my buddies in separation/divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 In my opinion, you're overreacting. It's really insignificant and doesn't change things whatsoever. It's not like he hid the fact he had a son. What difference does it make if she got pregnant before the wedding or after? It's really trivial. Link to post Share on other sites
Skeered Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 Originally posted by Pocky In my opinion, you're overreacting. It's really insignificant and doesn't change things whatsoever. It's not like he hid the fact he had a son. What difference does it make if she got pregnant before the wedding or after? It's really trivial. I have to agree with Pocky.. The relationship with her is over anyway so whatever happened before you came along you don't really have right to be angry about it. He is being honest and tellin you other things from the sounds of it..he prolly just didn't think it was worth even bringing up because it was his kid and then they got married..no harm no foul. Just toss it aside and worry about the here and now... just my .02 Link to post Share on other sites
fyrwyfe Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 [color=darkblue]I don't think it matters. Don't think about it in terms of him hiding it from you; sounds like he told you all about the more important aspects of his marriage and he probably didn't think it mattered all that much, if he thought about it at all that is... [/color] Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mz. Pixie Posted March 30, 2005 Author Share Posted March 30, 2005 Thanks you two! I thought it was really not that big of a deal. I think I made it a big deal in my mind because I'm scared- I've been out of the dating scene a long time and this guy has always just been so great. It's like all this time I've been waiting on the other shoe to drop so to speak. Link to post Share on other sites
Skeered Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 Originally posted by Mz. Pixie I think I made it a big deal in my mind because I'm scared- I've been out of the dating scene a long time and this guy has always just been so great. It's like all this time I've been waiting on the other shoe to drop so to speak. I totally hear you on that one...I think I walk into great situations waiting for something crappy to happen because then it will seem normal to me...lol NP...just be happy you got a great guy it sounds like...enjoy it... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mz. Pixie Posted March 30, 2005 Author Share Posted March 30, 2005 Thanks! He is a WONDERFUL guy. I have posted about this before but because of my guilt about my divorce, I feel like maybe I don't deserve to be happy. I know that's crazy but I still feel that way sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
Yikes Posted March 31, 2005 Share Posted March 31, 2005 Mz. Pixie, I agree with everyone else here. I don't see it as that big of a deal at all. Try not to look for reasons to be suspicious, from everything that you've said about this guy, I really don't think that you have to worry. What you don't want to do is give him the impression that you don't trust him. Take a deep breath and focus on the positive stuff... things are coming together nicely for you, just enjoy it. Y Link to post Share on other sites
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