jiggaman Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 about 6 months ago my girl of 1 year broke up with me. we were experiencing communication issues due to my new job location which put me about 2 hours away from her. after 3 months of long distance she called it quits. basically she said she was tired of me calling late at night and only seeing me on the weekends. she hated waiting around by the phone when in reality i had crazy hours due to the nature of the job and tried my hardest. needless to say she was my first true love and i did all the crazy ex bf moves like send flowers and even told her i would move back closer to her! hahaaa, that was stupid in hindsight but i was crushed. so over the last 5 months as ive settled into my job ive had more time on my hands and so we literally chatted through emails all day everyday. im talkin about 10-15 emails a day and occasional phonecalls. both of us initiated contact and throughout it all i wanted to get back with her but never made a peep about it. finally last month i reached the breaking point and flat out said i cannot handle a platonic friendship because eventually when the time is right i would like a future that is more than friends. she resonded by saying she had no idea i felt like that but she understands my decision and she wished me the best of luck in life! hahaa, so last week my friend ran into this girl at a bar and she was lettin him have it! she was very upset and said she couldnt understand why i was so mad at her and why i am ignoring her? she went on to say that she knew i was in town a few weekends back but i didnt bother to stop by or hang out? my question is why DO dumpers act like a victim after they crush our hearts???? she has done this time and time again since our breakup. once i told her i was out on a date, she went on to say she could never talk to me again! then another time i got her a christmas card and when she called i wasnt able to pick up. so the next day she writes a very sarcastic email sayin thanks for the gift but looks like ill never change and im too cool to talk to her? what the?!?!?! Love shackers the worst part is i still have feelings for her since it really is the 1st love of my life... Link to post Share on other sites
Puma Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 i could answer you and leave it at "YES!!!!" but i wont..cause i think you are lookin for more than that so i will help ya out a bit. first of all..if you take notice at ur situation i would think that she did you a favor cause she seems dramatic..i dont do dramatic girls period. save the drama for the soap operas!! i usually just tell them to go write in their diary and not cry and whine to me haha. im not a jerk really ok back to ur situation: the whole distance thing doesnt matter..i think it helps out in all reality. what you are dealing with here is a very insecure woman. ever heard the term "aloof"? well thats what you have to be to maintain a relationship or it will all crumble down eventually. when you are always available or interested and ur partner knows that..even subconciously..they will begin to distance themselves from you. this leads us to think "what is goin on..why did she/he end it if everythin was goin so well?" many on here can relate to this im sure. if you have somethin long enough it gets boring..uninteresting..loses its spark, the value. this leads you to want somethin exciting, different, dangerous. thikn bout it for a minute. ok the remedy for that is: BE ALOOF, unavailable at times, busy, have ur own life, interests, friends, hobbies. this will ensure that it wont get boring in the relationship. the best relationships and long lasting are those that have their own lives seperately from each other and can bring somethin new to the relationship because of it. i can tell you one thing for sure man: u had her at one point..you can get her back if you know how..its all a game, but hey u can choose to be the dealer or the player.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jiggaman Posted March 30, 2005 Author Share Posted March 30, 2005 PUMA, solid advise! true, she is very insecure...and yes she may be a drama queen but she really has been through alot over the years...all her previous BF's cheated on her and there was a history of abuse in her family..in the back of my mind, i have always wanted to be the solid male figure she never had. so while we still lived in the same city i definately became way to available, we even worked together but still hung out practically every night!! oh well live and learn when i moved it was a huge adjustment for her and she viewed it as another guy treating her like crap and walking out. so even after she broke up with me i still let her off the hook and remained friends with her because once again, i wanted to be the guy she's never had in her life. its always been that much harder for me to walk aways because i know all the issues she has had to deal with over the years and my heart goes out to her... i guess a better question is this, since she is still playing the "im a victim" routine does that mean that she still has yet to fully forgive me for apparently neglecting her when i moved away? Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 She's not really mad at you, man, she just wants the attention from you without having to be in a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Puma Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 tanbark stole my idea haha..damn you man!! no, he is right on jiggaman. she is playin the im a victim card because shes DRAMATIC! she wants/ craves attention..she fills some part of her drama cup everytime she gets the attention from you. BACK OFF a bit. you'll see what happens..then you can thank yourself later Link to post Share on other sites
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