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is it worth waiting?


hangoninthere

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hangoninthere

Dated a woman for 3 months who had been out of an abusive relationship for 8 months prior. she is from a different culture. we were set up by a mutual friend (same culture as she)

 

before Christmas, she ended it with me to return to her abusive ex. she now refuses to contact me (i texted her once)

 

usually i would just acept that i was a rebound and move on. I have no trouble meeting women.

 

but this one is different and i feel the situation is also different. she is from a culture where hitting women is normal...... i on the other hand would like to have a quiet word with this chap.

 

i am confident that he will become abusive again (although i do not want it to happen) and i am hoping they break up.

 

i have never been in a situation like this before

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She left you for her ex. That's a clear sign that she chose him over you.

 

When she left, she ceased to be your responsibility. It was a choice she made and you should respect that.

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It takes a lot of intense therapy and a true will to change if you are caught up in the cycle of abuse. She probably wasn't ready to date if she went back to an abusive ex. She was never a good dating prospect to begin with, and I don't suggest that you get caught up in their difficulties. Don't speak to him because you don't know what he is capable of. Ultimately, it has got to come from her if she wants to change, and a lot of people stay in abusive relationships for various reasons.

Edited by BC1980
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  • 1 year later...
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hangoninthere

thanks for the replies guys and sorry for taking so long to get back!

 

she contacted me 18 months later saying how sorry she was for hurting me and wanted to make it work.

 

I am now in a relationship with my current girlfriend so i dont want to know.

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