I'm like a sister to him now?

[Ashley S]

Ok, me and Tony met through a friend, and he flirted with me, called me his girlfriend when we went out (jokingly) to other people (by the way this is a different person that called me his "girlfriend", it's not my friend's boyfriend) He seemed interested in me, but I didn't think he was serious and I thought he was immature, so I rejected him. We became very close friends though. He contacted me to do things, hang out, go out, and go to his friends houses etc. I love hanging out with him, but I noticed he doesn't flirt with me anymore, he's neutral. He'll say subtle things here and there. He'll compliment me sometimes.

 

He hates my ex, and he doesn't really know him. Now he's saying all the time "I love you like a sister!" I am kinda crushed because I am starting to like him a lot now. Well this one guy was talking to me, and I said "Tony is my brother!" And Tony had a puzzled reaction he said "I'm your brother now?" He seemed confused, and upset, when he says I am his "sister" all the time. Do guys say that to cover up their feelings? When a guy says "I love you like a sister" does that mean there are NO romantic feelings involved?

[preraph]

I have never known anyone to say that who was interested romantically. I think his reaction is because he may have felt he was losing face in front of this other person. He can't have it both ways, can he?

 

You could try shaking him out of thinking of you as his sister by wearing something that shows some chest. If that doesn't work, I guess nothing will!~

[Danda]

He was flirty with you, and then your rejected him. Then you two became friends. Now he claims he sees you like a sister.

 

I don't think it really matters for now, why he says that. If you like him, then you need to make it clear that you like him. Otherwise why would he keep flirting with you and acting like he digs you romantically, unless he is the desperate, pushy type?

 

You make threads on occasion about how you perceive that you attract crazy/dysfunctional guys on the regular. Well here is an introspective opportunity for you.

 

You seem to want him to keep being flirty, despite the fact that you rejected him. So what you seem to want is for him to have issues. Then if he did, there would probably be a thread in short order about how you attracted yet another nutter when it starts going downhill.

 

What would be healthy in this situation is if you made it clear that you've started considering him romantically and have changed your mind, regarding the previous rejection. Then finding out via his reaction if he still considers you romantic material or not.

 

Of course, this will require you to make yourself a little vulnerable, instead of relying on some desperate dysfunctional person to do all of that for you.

 

No sass meant, just straight-up.

[Me1986]

When a guy says "I love you like a sister" does that mean there are NO romantic feelings involved?

If I'm totally honest, I tolerate my sister because she's family, and because I love my nieces to bits.

 

We don't get on very well at all otherwise, I have to hold my tounge to avoid an argument almost every time I see her, and she does the same. Conversations are strictly limited to family matters, or perhaps advice if one of us knows more about an issue the other faces.

 

My sister is the only person I could ever love like a sister.

 

I think he's got a crush on you but is respecting your past decision to reject him. I bet he wants to flirt with you but thinks you'll react badly.

 

What do you want? If you want a close friend he's already giving you that isn't he? If you want to get closer he probably does too, but you have to initiate it - and strongly enough to make it clear you've changed your mind.