Is it ok to be happy when obese?

[AVarma]

I myself am currently obese and I'm trying to lose some weight with a combination of exercise and diet. However I have thought about people who are happy to be obese and don't mind not losing weight. Does this seem ok to anyone?

 

The reason I ask is because putting aside looks, obesity does increase your chances of getting several diseases and just makes life in general more difficult.

 

So what should the message be for obese people? Should they change or should we accept them how they are?

[amaysngrace]

There's just a ton of bad impressions that obese people make. It's wrong for people to stereotype but they're going to.

 

They could think you're lazy, sloppy, poor, uncaring, dirty, have low self-esteem and are unhealthy.

 

If you don't care what people think then cool. But then why ask for opinions about it on a message board?

[PogoStick]

I just read an article of a very obese man who needed both knees replaced by age 40 or so. Normally, doctors want to hold off on this surgery until age 70+. This man then dropped dead of a heart attack at age 45.

 

And unfortunately, once your knees are trashed it's that much harder to exercise and lose weight. I have a large male friend under age 50 who pours concrete for a living and his knees are already toast. Working everyday is painful for him. Doctors are strongly resisting giving him knee replacement so young. He said his biggest frustration is that he can no longer play with his kids and do the typical "throw the football" in the backyard with his boys.

 

So you tell me. Do we accept obesity? Is wanting a better life for people "fat shaming"? It's the most preventable health risk after smoking. Do we make any attempts to curb smoking?

[johan]

As long as they are aware of the health consequences of their choices, I'm satisfied. Whether they choose to live happily is up to them. Whether they get my blessing or not probably has little influence over their lifestyle choices.

 

Aside from the health issues, there are other problems, or "externalities", such as the difficulty riding on aircraft with heavy people. It's irritating, to be honest. But so are obnoxious children, careless parents, people who smell, talk too much, drink too much, or who are angry travelers. Why single the big ones out?

 

There are days when nearly every other person I encounter irritates me. It's something I have to deal with myself, because I'm pretty sure no one really cares.

[johan]

So you tell me. Do we accept obesity? Is wanting a better life for people "fat shaming"? It's the most preventable health risk after smoking. Do we make any attempts to curb smoking?

 

Smoking. Obesity. What about all the other choices that lead to unhappiness? I think it's easy to see the line between wanting a better life for people and imposing a better life on them. I think if you've led the horse to water, you've done your job. Chances are you'll end up being the one frustrated and unhappy if you try to force it to drink.

[coolhoney_tavo]

I think it is better to lose a little weight at least so that you won't have much diseases and you can do more things when you weigh lighter.

 

Maybe start with drinking plain water or green tea daily. Then add in more vegetables, less carbs, cut down all the sugar intake.. but you can enjoy eating that on weekends.

[Imported]

 

 

Is it ok to be happy when obese?

 

 

Yes, of course.

 

 

 

So what should the message be for obese people? Should they change or should we accept them how they are?

 

 

 

I accept obese people for who they are, as a person. As I do anyone. I am just not attracted to obese women and feel no shame in that and don't think I should.

 

 

I am sure some people that look obese are reasonably healthy. I think in all cases, people should try to be healthy. This may not mean getting down to a shape and size that I consider attractive. Not my business, not my problem.

 

 

However, I do not want obesity to be the norm. People form habits from what they think is acceptable. Whether because of the habit itself or the results of it. I am not here to shame overweight people, but the habits that got them where they are is not something I think that should be viewed as acceptable.

[johan]

I think it is better to lose a little weight at least so that you won't have much diseases and you can do more things when you weigh lighter.

 

Maybe start with drinking plain water or green tea daily. Then add in more vegetables, less carbs, cut down all the sugar intake.. but you can enjoy eating that on weekends.

 

I think walking is the smart choice. I think it's the explanation why Europeans are thinner than Americans. We drive everywhere, they walk places much more. I've noticed when I'm over there, my steps per day is three or four times what it is in the US. I also notice my metabolism increases.

 

Walking somewhere at least a couple times a day is enough to cut weight. Not strolling, but walking like you need to get somewhere.

 

I've also seen obese people whose attitude toward food is not really healthy. More is really better for some. Food can be a preoccupation. I feel bad for people who are stuck with bad habits and thought patterns. I'm sorry for people whose bodies are just not good. If any of them come to me for advice how to change, I'll do what I can. Otherwise it's none of my business.

[regine_phalange]

I don't mind them being obese, but are they sure they don't mind getting sick and dying young?

[thefooloftheyear]

A cousin of mine is at least 450 lbs...probably more....The strange part is that he is the only heavy one in my entire family...He's been pretty heavy his whole life...He, by all accounts, seems very content...he lives alone, never married...had a few gf's, but none in the recent past..

 

He loves to eat...I know he had tried a few times years ago and did lose a bunch of weight. but put it right back on...

 

He's in his 50's now and probably figures hes lived longer than many thought he would...Actually he does move around pretty good for a guy his size..

 

Its possible to be happy...using this example I suppose..I just think its unfortunate..We all have only one life...I wouldnt let that get in the way of living it to the fullest...but thats me..

 

TFY

[Ninjainpajamas]

I don't know if those people are truly "happier" for being overweight because I think everyone cares about their bodies to some extent, but I think some people are maybe more resigned to the fact that they are going to be obese likely for the rest of their lives...frankly, some people are just too in-love/dependent on food that changing it would be a drastic and even catastrophic shift to their lifestyle/psyche that they wouldn't be able to cope with.

 

America is getting quite fatter, and so is the UK closing trailing behind it seems. There is a cultural shift in accepting obesity as a society, since well...everyone is pretty much becoming fat. That's supposed to make people "feel better" about themselves, but I would bet money on the fact that it never will.

 

The health problems will be later on in life for them and for you, as you get older you tend to become more sedentary and less able to move around as you once used to, and this will mean almost undoubtedly an even more gradual weight gain as time goes on...especially if you're just like hey, I want to eat what I want and not exercise, this is how it's going to be.

 

I'm just throwing out a guess, but I'm guessing health problems start to make an impact around your 50's, they might creep up in your 40's before that, but until then I think your body fights the good fight of keeping you as functional as possible...but after a while your body starts to lose the battle of maintenance because of what you're putting it through and once one thing goes wrong you can pretty much expect a chain reaction...imagine if you hurt your leg and can't walk, how much more weight would you gain? as well as the poor circulation, likelihood of diabetes and heart problems, breathing problems, sleep apnea(?), all kinds of wonderful things...and then by then, when you know you have to change to save your life...well then it's too late and you pretty much die or slowly deteriorate health wise.

 

Yay for supporting obesity! But it is your life, unfortunately it's going to cost billions of dollars to treat these curable diseases such as obesity down the road...but who's counting these days anyway?

 

So if it makes you happy, you don't complain about girls that are skinny on tv in magazines, realize that regardless of what happens most people don't like fat even if they are fat, and essentially don't expect the whole world to change and sing sad songs just for you, because you've got your struggles as if they don't...then just be happy, as long as you take responsibility and don't expect the world to change for you, I don't see any problems if it's just you and your life.

 

When you go as far as wanting others to think and feel differently and wanting to change the entire landscape by attacking culture, society and men/women, then your encroaching on other peoples values IMO. As long as you are happy with you and it's about just you, that's fine.

Edited January 19, 2015 by Ninjainpajamas

[Els]

Do we make any attempts to curb smoking?

 

Actually, no. Aside from standard public health advisories, etc (which already exist for obesity), there aren't really any attempts by society or the government to curb smoking. Non-smoking laws are in place to protect OTHER people around them. Everyone can smoke as much as they like in their own house.

 

OP, everyone has their own life to live, and they can live it however they see fit as long as they aren't harming anyone else. If it were someone I cared about, I would advise them to try their best to lose the weight, for health reasons. I also feel obliged to warn anyone who asks (as you are doing) that you really will be setting yourself up for lots of medical problems relatively early in life unless you bring your weight down to a more manageable level. But aside from that, no, random strangers in society don't really have any right to tell you whether or not you are 'allowed to be happy'.

Edited January 19, 2015 by Elswyth

[Michelle ma Belle]

Listen, it's no secret that carrying too much weight increases one's chance of having multiple health issues. It's understood.

 

Can someone be a "happy" person despite their extra weight? Sure. Why not?

 

I would agree with another poster that I don't believe that they are necessarily overjoyed with their physical being if stripped naked in front of a mirror but rather they're just trying to make the best out of a challenging situation. Hell, even the people who are "normal" body weight by societal standards would cringe at themselves naked and find a bucket of flaws they would change in a heartbeat. It's just human nature. I don't think it's a crime to live positively no matter your circumstance. We all have our crosses to carry after all.

 

I think the bigger issue here is that so many people attribute "fat" to JUST being lazy. And although that may become a by-product, like ANY addiction, you need to look past the superficial and realize that there are some very deep seeded issues that causes someone to either gain excessive weight or starve themselves to death. It isn't as black and white as most people think.

 

Obesity and the intake of large amounts of food is no different than any other type of ADDICTION. It's the drug of choice for some people just as alcohol, marijuana, sex, drugs, smoking or whatever else dominates people's lives. And just like people with other addictions, they use their drug of choice to cope, deal, escape, numb whatever uncomfortable feelings they can't or don't want to deal with.

 

Whenever I see an overweight person, I don't automatically shame them for carrying to much weight but rather wonder what happened in their life to cause them to turn to food for comfort. Many women (and even men) who carry a lot of weight often are survivors of rape and/or molestation or some kind of assault or trauma. The weight acts like a protective armor. The examples of endless.

 

And just like overcoming ANY addiction, you need to deal with the deeper emotional sh*t before you can even begin to tackle the physical sh*t otherwise it's always going to be a temporary result.

 

So what should the message be for obese people? How about we care and accept you regardless of anything? What a RADICAL idea!

 

It's not OUR life to live. We haven't lived their life to understand what they've gone through nor what they're going through.

 

Clearly the body shaming ISN'T working so perhaps it's time to live and practice a bit more tolerance and even unconditional love for those who are a bit "different" than us.

Edited January 19, 2015 by Michelle ma Belle

[Taramere]

I think walking is the smart choice. I think it's the explanation why Europeans are thinner than Americans. We drive everywhere, they walk places much more.

 

I think possibly things are just more geared towards walking here. Well, except just now when the pavements are a total ice rink.

 

I suppose it depends where you are in the US. NYC - easy to walk around. I walked around a lot in San Francisco too...but I remember being in San Diego and while the Old Town was fine, other parts of it just didn't seem geared to pedestrians at all. A couple of times I almost wondered "is it legal to walk in this part of town?"

 

A tank of petrol generally lasts me for at least a month, because I walk most places. Petrol is ridiculously expensive here, and parking isn't cheap either - so you save lot of money by walking, plus it's decent exercise and ensures you get some fresh air each day. As far as whether it's okay to be happily overweight goes, I would generally say yes...but I have to admit, I get really irked about people who are on disability benefit here for no reason other than that they're extremely overweight. For instance:

 

Janice and Amber Manzur would 'rather be fat on benefits than thin and working' | Daily Mail Online

 

That just feels to me as though they're trolling taxpayers. They're saying they'd rather be fat and happy than thin and depressed...and I'm pretty sure what they mean is "if we were thin, we would have to work - with all the stress and hassle that entails. Which would be depressing."

 

So yeah, if somebody's self supporting then it's entirely up to them what sort of shape they're in. But when people are unable to work due to obesity, and others are having to pay to support them, that's something else altogether.

[thefooloftheyear]

Ill be honest...

 

There are many very fit people(myself included:rolleyes:) that are far more hung up on their bodies than many fat/obese people...

 

TFY

[Taramere]

Ill be honest...

 

There are many very fit people(myself included:rolleyes:) that are far more hung up on their bodies than many fat/obese people...

 

TFY

 

Too much time in the gym, with mirrors everywhere and the "too much is not enough" vibe some people there have towards fitness can have that impact. I drew back from that a few years ago after a male friend criticised me as "not fat by a regular person's standards, but could do better". At the time, I was going to the gym a lot - and all my stats were really good. It just made me think "no, to hell with spending so much time at the gym only to have people tell me 'you're still not good enough'".

 

I don't blame him, because I think he was genuinely trying to motivate me to keep aiming higher...but it's just not an approach I respond to. My upbringing was very much "everything in moderation". Initially, when I stopped going to the gym so much, I put on some weight - almost in some sort of act of rebellion against the whole competitive, aggressive "not good enough - try harder" culture you often get in gyms. I had some PT sessions last year, and it took the gym instructor a couple of sessions to realise that positive reinforcement was the only way to get me to increase the pace to the level she wanted. The critical "you can do better, come ON!" approach would just result in me wanting the session to be over - and sometimes even insisting that it just end.

 

Which is why I wonder if that competitive, aggressive attitude that sometimes flourishes in the fitness industry isn't really helping. In that sense you might be right. That people who have let themselves get obese are happier in some ways because they're just opting out of that worrying about their body, BMI, fat percentage etc stuff altogether. All that stress gone.

 

It's a professional athlete's job to be at the peak of physical perfection, and they get paid very well for it. The rest of us don't. We don't get paid for it, we don't really get rewarded in any particular way for it. I mean I didn't suddenly have a ton of suitors lining up at my door, and I don't really class getting hooted at by lorry drivers as a reward for hard work at the gym. I know that looking and feeling good should be a reward in itself, but for me - I didn't look and feel so much better that it felt worth the time and effort I was investing at the gym.

 

So what should the message be for obese people? Should they change or should we accept them how they are?

 

I think you can accept somebody for who they are, and still be supportive of their efforts to become healthier. As long as people around you are supportive and appreciative of the efforts you make to get in better shape, I think you'll really enjoy that route to becoming healthier. It's a good goal to have, but purely based on my own experiences I would say that taking more natural exercise (as Johan suggested earlier) such as walking is a very manageable and sustainable way of doing it.

 

It's also about changing your eating habits. If you diet, it's very easy to get into that spartan mindset of deprivation....but it really doesn't need to be like that. There are a lot of delicious healthy foods out there. Often when people overeat, it's because they're eating a lot of bland food that isn't really satisfying them. Or things like crisps/chips that are designed to be moreish.

 

I try to use a lot of herbs, spices and sundried tomatoes when I'm cooking. These flavourings help to give food a much richer taste (and they're also good for you), which will make the food more satisfying. It really can be enjoyable to go on a self devised programme of healthier eating and a decent amount of outdoor exercise like walking. As you lose weight and gain energy, you'll probably find yourself wanting to go up a level exercise wise. But, what I do think is important is that you have a programme that's manageable for you, and sustainable in the long term.

 

Rather than seeing it as a short term thing to lose weight, and approaching it in an obsessive way, making manageable, permanent changes to your lifestyle that might not have you competing in marathons any time soon, but will help you to look better outside and feel better inside. If you're happy now then that's great. You'll probably be even happier once you're on that road to better health.

[TigerLilly78]

Im overweight have been most of my life I have a nice home friends a loving relashionship I am clean and well presented. I am over all happy with the person ive become in this life I accept myself. That doesn't mean at some point I wouldn't mind losing some weight if the time comes and it happens great until then I refuse to let it define me as a person cause the fat is not who I am it doesn't affect my core values or personality at all. If others refuse to see this then thats their problem not mine far as "fat acceptance" its more about not accepting abuse then glorifying being obese there is a difference..

[Rejected Rosebud]

Yes of course, we should all be happy if we can no matter what our bodies are like. That doesn't mean that you should be complacent if your weight is holding you back in life and presenting health risks! But complacent and happy aren't the same thing!!

[carhill]

I myself am currently obese and I'm trying to lose some weight with a combination of exercise and diet. However I have thought about people who are happy to be obese and don't mind not losing weight. Does this seem ok to anyone?

 

Sure, people are autonomous beings and each lives their own lives. Yep, some are obese and enjoy their lives just fine. Some don't. Same as anyone else, irrespective of weight or size.

 

The reason I ask is because putting aside looks, obesity does increase your chances of getting several diseases and just makes life in general more difficult.

 

Yes, it can but, again, that's dependent upon the person, so varies. The same kinds of 'chances' can result from other lifestyle choices unrelated to obesity or simply bad luck, meaning one can live an ostensibly 'perfect' life and yet still inexplicably die, unrelated to their life choices.

 

So what should the message be for obese people? Should they change or should we accept them how they are?

 

Society sends its messages through communication and association. Individuals have choices regarding how they receive and process those choices. If a person I care about is obese and desires to change that aspect, they get my support because I care about them. I happened to be married to one for about a decade and, in general, she was pretty happy with her life. She was also healthy, and at an age where health issues for an obese person should begin to show up in a marked way. OTOH, her best friend, who had the 'perfect' body but was an alcoholic, died a few months short of her 50th birthday last year. That's how life goes. No easy answers.

[elaine567]

Anybody being truly happy is a bonus in this life not to be sniffed at, and if they are a few pounds overweight then so what?

Yes there are health risks with too much weight, but there are also health risks with being unhappy, depressed, lonely or being far too skinny too.

[PogoStick]

Actually, no. Aside from standard public health advisories, etc (which already exist for obesity), there aren't really any attempts by society or the government to curb smoking. Non-smoking laws are in place to protect OTHER people around them.

 

I disagree:

In 1970 TV and radio ads for smoking were banned

In 1986 bans were made for smokeless tobacco advertising

Advertising restrictions that appealed to minors: Camel Joe

Warning labels have been mandated and updated multiple times

Extensive public health campaigns have been waged, especially in schools, TV commercials

Heavy taxes on tobacco discourage its use

Tobacco companies lost a record breaking lawsuit

Higher insurance premiums discourage tobacco use

Docs now routinely ask about tobacco use and offer help to stop: wellbutrin Rx, nicorette gum

Many workplaces have programs to help people stop smoking

Almost no employer has "smoke breaks" anymore, such breaks were common even in the early 90s

 

 

What if the equally strong efforts were made in combating obesity? (yes, we're slowly getting there)

[Els]

I disagree:

In 1970 TV and radio ads for smoking were banned

In 1986 bans were made for smokeless tobacco advertising

Advertising restrictions that appealed to minors: Camel Joe

Warning labels have been mandated and updated multiple times

Extensive public health campaigns have been waged, especially in schools, TV commercials

Heavy taxes on tobacco discourage its use

Tobacco companies lost a record breaking lawsuit

Higher insurance premiums discourage tobacco use

Docs now routinely ask about tobacco use and offer help to stop: wellbutrin Rx, nicorette gum

Many workplaces have programs to help people stop smoking

Almost no employer has "smoke breaks" anymore, such breaks were common even in the early 90s

 

 

What if the equally strong efforts were made in combating obesity? (yes, we're slowly getting there)

 

I have no issue with efforts made to encourage healthier lifestyles - as a matter of fact I am for them. If that was what you were talking about, then yes, I agree with you. I always thought it ridiculous that healthy food is generally more expensive than crap food.

 

But the OP is asking if 'obese people have the right to be happy'. None of the efforts to curb smoking try to shame the smokers and tell them they have no right to be happy - as a matter of fact in general it is known that if someone has their life in order and is in good mental health, it is easier for them to break an addiction. The same would go for obesity I would think.

 

Fat-shaming achieves exactly the opposite of that.

[Maleficent]

I have no issue with efforts made to encourage healthier lifestyles - as a matter of fact I am for them. If that was what you were talking about, then yes, I agree with you. I always thought it ridiculous that healthy food is generally more expensive than crap food.

 

But the OP is asking if 'obese people have the right to be happy'. None of the efforts to curb smoking try to shame the smokers and tell them they have no right to be happy - as a matter of fact in general it is known that if someone has their life in order and is in good mental health, it is easier for them to break an addiction. The same would go for obesity I would think.

 

Fat-shaming achieves exactly the opposite of that.

 

If we started telling smokers how disgusting they are, that'd be considered rude.

But yeah calling an overweight person disgusting is just trying to help them get healthy.

[aggie382]

I think people with a little extra meat on their bones can be happy. But I don't think morbidly obese people can be happy, because I think their externalities reflect how they feel. It's a symptom of unhappiness, generally.

[Robert Z]

So what should the message be for obese people? Should they change or should we accept them how they are?

 

Yes

 

 

We all have our issues. And I don't see acceptance by others the same as accepting an unhealthy lifestyle that will likely lead to poor health, a reduced quality of life, and an early death. To me the key is separate the idea of worth from good choices. It isn't about worth, it is about your quality of life. Obesity is a plague on the health of Americans and it will cost us all in the years to come.

 

I also think it is important to understand that many people have been hooked by the junk food industry just as surely as smokers were hooked by the tobacco industry. Junk food is engineered to be addictive. It is no accident that we have a weight health crisis.

 

I lost 70 pounds and it was like getting a new life. It is worth it.

Edited January 21, 2015 by Robert Z