Working = Depressing?

[LostOne1]

So, I just started a new job after being in school for almost 7 years. I've had freelance jobs in between, but not a 9 to 5 job in 7 years.

 

I'm almost a month into my job, and I have started to feel a bit depressed. I mean I like my job, but I feel the idea of me doing this for the rest of my life .... 9 to 5... just gets me depressed.

 

I come home and it's close to 6pm. It leaves me with little time as I need to sleep around 11pm (I wake up at 6am), and I am usually exhausted with no energy to do much else besides sit, eat and watch tv when I get home.

 

I also am single, so it's not like I have someone that I can come home to that would make life more interesting.

 

So lately, I've been feeling down.... I guess I feel like I want something outside my work life that would make things more fun.

 

Has anyone ever felt this or been through it? What did you do?

[Gloria25]

Get a pet, start/increase your physical activities, get hobbies, do sports, volunteer, do meet-up groups.

 

The thing is staying active, doing things to "recharge" your batteries, raise your self-esteem, learn something new, and meet new people.

 

The pets also help to keep you company and they are so cute to just hug when you come home after a long day.

[Emilia]

Unfortunately life isn't a bed of roses. Everyone feels down, bored, depressed, tired, fed up, etc at times. Pressure gets too much, you hate the job but can't leave because have mouths to feed at home, etc etc etc.

 

The key is to make the most of it. Take courses at work, take on projects that interest you, focus on personal development. You must learn what it is that motivates you in life and make sure you get that part right. If you can keep your own motivation going, the boredom and depression part get mostly resolved.

[eye of the storm]

Ill second getting a pet idea but be careful If you are only home 5 hours a day, a dog may have difficulties being alone that much. So you might want to budget a doggy daycare or a dog walker.

 

Cats (esp if you have 2) are more independent and 5 hours a day may be fine for them. Also, they don't need to potty outside so there is that.

 

Guinea pigs are fun pets, lizards can be fun too.

 

Hobbies, volunteering, getting a group of friends to have once or twice a week game nights, going to the gym, all of these are fantastic options

[Emilia]

I think distractions have their place in life but they don't necessarily provide the solid base you need long term.

[Els]

Given that you were in school for 7 years, I'm guessing it was an undergrad + grad programme? If you feel that the 9-5 grind really depresses you (as in, it's not just a phase), then take a serious look into the career options that don't require it. For instance, many of my Profs don't work 9-5 every day, some of them have negotiated flexible hours and a few have work-from-home days. I also know a few people in other professions (programmers, GPs, etc) who do that. Startup fever is also taking hold, though even if you can technically set your own hours, the people I know in (successful) startups work 8-8, not 9-5...

 

There is always a trade-off, though. It depends on what you are willing to sacrifice to avoid 9-5. And on what your current financial circumstances are.

[Ethan78]

Congrats on getting to that point after a month. It took me 3 years in a 9 - 5 job to reach that point. Yes, look at what would suit you better than office work. Starting a business? Learning a trade? Going freelance? or working from home? There are always other options.

 

Regarding the prospect of training at work I would say don't let yourself be fooled into following training / a career ladder that you have no realistic interest in outside of the office. This is what fooled me for those three years. I really believed I was on some career ladder and going somewhere. In reality the employer was holding back training and using it as a carrot.

 

When I was working my only social life outside of work was music classes, or going to the gym.

 

And one very important thing. The lack of a romantic / personal life outside of work ultimately contributed to my lack of motivation / happiness at work. This might not be true for everyone, but I believe if I had been in a relationship things might have turned out different.

[LostOne1]

Given that you were in school for 7 years, I'm guessing it was an undergrad + grad programme? If you feel that the 9-5 grind really depresses you (as in, it's not just a phase), then take a serious look into the career options that don't require it. For instance, many of my Profs don't work 9-5 every day, some of them have negotiated flexible hours and a few have work-from-home days. I also know a few people in other professions (programmers, GPs, etc) who do that. Startup fever is also taking hold, though even if you can technically set your own hours, the people I know in (successful) startups work 8-8, not 9-5...

 

There is always a trade-off, though. It depends on what you are willing to sacrifice to avoid 9-5. And on what your current financial circumstances are.

Well I was in college for about 3 years, then moved to uni for 4 years.

 

I like my job and the people I work with and everything. I think it's more about being lonely or not having anything to do besides work related matters at home.

 

I think I just need to get back to my hobbies.

[LostOne1]

Congrats on getting to that point after a month. It took me 3 years in a 9 - 5 job to reach that point. Yes, look at what would suit you better than office work. Starting a business? Learning a trade? Going freelance? or working from home? There are always other options.

 

Regarding the prospect of training at work I would say don't let yourself be fooled into following training / a career ladder that you have no realistic interest in outside of the office. This is what fooled me for those three years. I really believed I was on some career ladder and going somewhere. In reality the employer was holding back training and using it as a carrot.

 

When I was working my only social life outside of work was music classes, or going to the gym.

 

And one very important thing. The lack of a romantic / personal life outside of work ultimately contributed to my lack of motivation / happiness at work. This might not be true for everyone, but I believe if I had been in a relationship things might have turned out different.

Yeah, well my job will have 1 day work from home... which I think I'd like.... and I'm sure it will help out a lot.

 

I guess I partly miss being at home sleeping in and having no worries. Though I also like working and getting lot's of $ and being able to afford things that I want.

[LostOne1]

Ill second getting a pet idea but be careful If you are only home 5 hours a day, a dog may have difficulties being alone that much. So you might want to budget a doggy daycare or a dog walker.

 

Cats (esp if you have 2) are more independent and 5 hours a day may be fine for them. Also, they don't need to potty outside so there is that.

 

Guinea pigs are fun pets, lizards can be fun too.

 

Hobbies, volunteering, getting a group of friends to have once or twice a week game nights, going to the gym, all of these are fantastic options

 

Get a pet, start/increase your physical activities, get hobbies, do sports, volunteer, do meet-up groups.

 

The thing is staying active, doing things to "recharge" your batteries, raise your self-esteem, learn something new, and meet new people.

 

The pets also help to keep you company and they are so cute to just hug when you come home after a long day.

 

Yeah I do have pets, but they don't spend much time with me. Plus I live with my family, which can help a bit. I'm trying to be closer to my family so I just have more interaction in my every day life after work.

[Allumere]

So you live at home, have pets and family. you are free from 6pm on everyday and home by choice? (to bankroll some income) or are you in debt up to your eyeballs like many new grads (student loans?) I can't remember but maybe you were the young lady that was on here before that had a health issue that causes fatigue? Anyway, part of the problem is that we are programmed to grow up, go to college, and get a job. It is like when we reach that milestone the holy grail has been found. Bastards lied didn't they?! I think that may be part of your blues.

[Emilia]

I guess I partly miss being at home sleeping in and having no worries. Though I also like working and getting lot's of $ and being able to afford things that I want.

The anxiety part you can manage by working out what it is that you are worried about exactly, ie which aspects of your new responsibilities worry you most, and tackle those head on.

[Shepp]

Though I also like working and getting lot's of $ and being able to afford things that I want.

 

 

Im all about hobbies, sports, family and activities outside of work. but fact of the matter is your always going to spend more time in work. If you work just for the money that will always be a drain. You have to love what you do.

 

 

To me at least, id rather look forward to Monday morning than have a higher number on my bank statement each month.

 

 

You have to find what's right for you!! I would HATE to be cooped up in an office, but some folk would hate to be out in the wind and rain and spend their day shivering.

 

 

DO whats YOU love, not what you think you should love!!

[Toodaloo]

Has anyone ever felt this or been through it? What did you do?

 

Left and found something that I could do well that was working with people I enjoy being with...

 

I am happy as larry.

 

I love both of my part time jobs. The people I work with and for are in general the most fantastic people you could hope to find. It is VERY rare that I do not want to come to work and I look forward to Mondays.

 

My dogs come to work, I am encouraged to get on. If I have a problem both jobs work together to help me solve it. They are both flexible and help each other out and share me well.

 

My customers are fickle and most would not be able to work with them but I tend to get on really well with them.

 

Its very close knit between suppliers, customers etc. More so at one job but the other is very similar in that its repeat custom and in general neither job advertises.

 

I love it.

 

I will never be a millionaire but I am rich in smiles.

 

I am not doing what I trained to do... I never expected to end up here... but its fab.

[Shepp]

Left and found something that I could do well...

 

I love it.

 

I will never be a millionaire but I am rich in smiles.

 

I am not doing what I trained to do... I never expected to end up here... but its fab.

 

^ Exactly this!

Everyone's got talent, a skill set - I believe everyone's meant to do something, and you shouldn't settle for less.

 

I always thought I was going to be a footballer, I played in all the right academies, got praised by all the right scouts, and I dreamed of pulling on a Utd shirt and scoring in a champions league final. My fall back was always farming, something I enjoyed well enough. I never set out to be a firefighter - hell I'm claustrophobic. I kind of stumbled into it in my grandads footsteps, and as soon as i did i knew this is what I was made for, this is what i should be doing!! Here, i don't have to force anything, i just have to do the things that come natural - down to a knack for remembering road names! Haha!

And i don't need fans chanting my name or footballers wages & fancy cars - I just need to do something that i'm proud of, and i love!

 

Fill your hours outside work with the things you love, but the happiest people i know fill there 9-5 with something they love too!

 

(im trying really hard to phrase this without breaking into 'its not right for you' by the script )

[Toodaloo]

My fall back was always farming, something I enjoyed well enough. I never set out to be a firefighter

 

And i don't need fans chanting my name or footballers wages & fancy cars - I just need to do something that i'm proud of, and i love!

 

 

te he he - where have you been all of my life...

 

...it could never work - football has never been my thing... I only "support" Southampton because the lads tell me I will be sacked if I don't...

 

Don't even know what colour shirts they wear but assume red...

 

Now Shepp if you had said Rugby...!!!

 

I was trained to be a riding instructor. I wanted to go and train race horses and ride in the National. Spend many happy years sorting out problem horses and making others quite a bit of money when they sold them on. Then I got ill and discovered Mars bars... had to bring the pennies in some how.

 

Tried to go back to the equestrian industry and hated it, the people I worked for before had all given up as its so bitchy, so am back in construction and loving it! I get to enjoy my horses, use my skills in a charitable way so its fun rather than work and spend my time with wonderful people.

[Shepp]

Now Shepp if you had said Rugby...!!!

Haha i used to play fly half, had to stop when my football got more serious....didn't know what i was giving up right?

 

I was trained to be a riding instructor. I wanted to go and train race horses and ride in the National. Spend many happy years sorting out problem horses and making others quite a bit of money when they sold them on. Then I got ill and discovered Mars bars... had to bring the pennies in some how.

 

Tried to go back to the equestrian industry and hated it, the people I worked for before had all given up as its so bitchy, so am back in construction and loving it! I get to enjoy my horses, use my skills in a charitable way so its fun rather than work and spend my time with wonderful people.

This is it right, planning life's a bit of a fools game really. I reckon when your doing the right thing you just know it, same as everything in life I guess. Don't live for tomorrow OP, if your not loving your life, change it!!

[LostOne1]

So you live at home, have pets and family. you are free from 6pm on everyday and home by choice? (to bankroll some income) or are you in debt up to your eyeballs like many new grads (student loans?) I can't remember but maybe you were the young lady that was on here before that had a health issue that causes fatigue? Anyway, part of the problem is that we are programmed to grow up, go to college, and get a job. It is like when we reach that milestone the holy grail has been found. Bastards lied didn't they?! I think that may be part of your blues.

 

The anxiety part you can manage by working out what it is that you are worried about exactly, ie which aspects of your new responsibilities worry you most, and tackle those head on.

 

Im all about hobbies, sports, family and activities outside of work. but fact of the matter is your always going to spend more time in work. If you work just for the money that will always be a drain. You have to love what you do.

 

 

To me at least, id rather look forward to Monday morning than have a higher number on my bank statement each month.

 

 

You have to find what's right for you!! I would HATE to be cooped up in an office, but some folk would hate to be out in the wind and rain and spend their day shivering.

 

 

DO whats YOU love, not what you think you should love!!

 

Left and found something that I could do well that was working with people I enjoy being with...

 

I am happy as larry.

 

I love both of my part time jobs. The people I work with and for are in general the most fantastic people you could hope to find. It is VERY rare that I do not want to come to work and I look forward to Mondays.

 

My dogs come to work, I am encouraged to get on. If I have a problem both jobs work together to help me solve it. They are both flexible and help each other out and share me well.

 

My customers are fickle and most would not be able to work with them but I tend to get on really well with them.

 

Its very close knit between suppliers, customers etc. More so at one job but the other is very similar in that its repeat custom and in general neither job advertises.

 

I love it.

 

I will never be a millionaire but I am rich in smiles.

 

I am not doing what I trained to do... I never expected to end up here... but its fab.

 

^ Exactly this!

Everyone's got talent, a skill set - I believe everyone's meant to do something, and you shouldn't settle for less.

 

I always thought I was going to be a footballer, I played in all the right academies, got praised by all the right scouts, and I dreamed of pulling on a Utd shirt and scoring in a champions league final. My fall back was always farming, something I enjoyed well enough. I never set out to be a firefighter - hell I'm claustrophobic. I kind of stumbled into it in my grandads footsteps, and as soon as i did i knew this is what I was made for, this is what i should be doing!! Here, i don't have to force anything, i just have to do the things that come natural - down to a knack for remembering road names! Haha!

And i don't need fans chanting my name or footballers wages & fancy cars - I just need to do something that i'm proud of, and i love!

 

Fill your hours outside work with the things you love, but the happiest people i know fill there 9-5 with something they love too!

 

(im trying really hard to phrase this without breaking into 'its not right for you' by the script )

 

 

Thanks for all the replies everyone.

 

I do enjoy my job a lot, I just started and honestly I lucked out on such a good job. To get a job like this right out of school is VERY rare. I lucked out, because I knew the right people and my timing for finding work was spot on.

 

I think the problem is I miss other things. I miss being able to sleep in, or staying at home and doing what ever I wanted. Funny thing is over a month ago I hated being home. I felt like I was wasting my life sitting at home when I could start my career and earn something. Get some job satisfaction, gain some work experience and interact with more people.

 

The biggest thing for me is my sleep pattern. I find I get sleepy when I get home, then I have a power nap for 2 hours. That takes out more of my day away... then again it doesn't help that I lay in bed when I'm home. I think that makes it worse off.

 

My plans are to get more involved with volunteering events and attending more meetup groups, which I haven't done since forever. I find in my field though we tend to be very work busy with an overload in work. I'm new so right now the company is taking it easy on me for the next 6-12 months.

 

I have a project on the way that I need to complete outside work and school in the evenings. I think once I start with that, then this feeling will go away. That I think is because I will be so busy with my time that it won't make me feel like I am missing out or anything.

[evanescentworld]

Jeesus, I'm sorry, the sense of entitlement in your posts....

 

I'm sorry, but it grips my schytt.

 

You really have no idea how fortunate you are....

 

Instead of complaining about the minutiae, get a grip, count your blessings and become pro-active.

Quit with the "power nap" and utilise your time more productively, and thank whatever lucky stars that be, that you actually have a regular, 9 - 5 job.

 

Your aim now is to be productive and successful and keep that job, because they don't all fall in your lap like this one did.

 

Believe me, you have it so easy.

 

And your main complaint is that you don't get to sleep in any more....?

 

Hell's bells, spare me.....

[Els]

I do enjoy my job a lot, I just started and honestly I lucked out on such a good job. To get a job like this right out of school is VERY rare. I lucked out, because I knew the right people and my timing for finding work was spot on.

 

It's great that you recognize how lucky you are. That's always a good first step to solving a problem in life.

 

The biggest thing for me is my sleep pattern. I find I get sleepy when I get home, then I have a power nap for 2 hours. That takes out more of my day away... then again it doesn't help that I lay in bed when I'm home. I think that makes it worse off.

 

My guy usually naps after he gets home too, although in his case he typically works about 12 hours a day, so he's understandably exhausted when he gets back. I don't think this is necessarily an issue as long as you're able to sleep at night as well.

 

I have a project on the way that I need to complete outside work and school in the evenings. I think once I start with that, then this feeling will go away. That I think is because I will be so busy with my time that it won't make me feel like I am missing out or anything.

 

Sounds like a plan. Even if you can't make much progress on weekdays, spending 30 minutes a day or so can still be very useful. And then you can spend a longer time on it on weekends.

[Toodaloo]

Haha i used to play fly half, had to stop when my football got more serious....didn't know what i was giving up right?

 

 

Agh Shepp what are you doing to me!!!

 

You gave up rugby to play football!!! What were you thinking???!!!

 

Fly half... mmmmm... I used to date a fly half... I now have a smile on my face!!!

[Got it]

te he he - where have you been all of my life...

 

...it could never work - football has never been my thing... I only "support" Southampton because the lads tell me I will be sacked if I don't...

 

Don't even know what colour shirts they wear but assume red...

 

Now Shepp if you had said Rugby...!!!

 

I was trained to be a riding instructor. I wanted to go and train race horses and ride in the National. Spend many happy years sorting out problem horses and making others quite a bit of money when they sold them on. Then I got ill and discovered Mars bars... had to bring the pennies in some how.

 

Tried to go back to the equestrian industry and hated it, the people I worked for before had all given up as its so bitchy, so am back in construction and loving it! I get to enjoy my horses, use my skills in a charitable way so its fun rather than work and spend my time with wonderful people.

 

Yep! I am the same. If I could retire early or be independently wealthy I would jump back into the horse world 100%. My happiest time was when I was running a boarding facility, property manager for a gentleman taking care of his horses and dogs, and editing for a equine focused periodical. It was heavenly!

 

I love my career, brings in FAR more money than I would ever get in horses but doesn't light me up in the same way. So I have three horses, two retired and spoiled and one down in FL now for winter training while I enviously watch updates from my trainer.

 

Life is a give and take but for the OP- find the things that you are passionate about and go after it. Life is about embracing it at 100%.

 

And in regards to a hectic life, get used to it. I am up at 4:50, on my way to work by 6, leave the office between 3-5, drive an hour to take care of my old guys, ride during most months, and home around 6-8pm, and in bed by 9:30. It's crazy, crowded, and tiring, but we only go around this crazy world once.

[MissBee]

Given that you were in school for 7 years, I'm guessing it was an undergrad + grad programme? If you feel that the 9-5 grind really depresses you (as in, it's not just a phase), then take a serious look into the career options that don't require it. For instance, many of my Profs don't work 9-5 every day, some of them have negotiated flexible hours and a few have work-from-home days. I also know a few people in other professions (programmers, GPs, etc) who do that. Startup fever is also taking hold, though even if you can technically set your own hours, the people I know in (successful) startups work 8-8, not 9-5...

 

There is always a trade-off, though. It depends on what you are willing to sacrifice to avoid 9-5. And on what your current financial circumstances are.

 

I agree with this.

 

I know that for me I cannot do a job but need a career that speaks to who I am as a person and that I genuinely enjoy, even if it isn't all sunshine and roses 24/7 (nothing is), but where overall this is what I'm meant to do so I enjoy doing it and welcome the challenges. I am a restless individual and need that, plus a job that allows for creativity and flexibility, to stay tuned in and not depressed. I have NEVER liked the idea of a 9-5 or just doing a job to pay the bills. Not knocking those who do. My parents do it...and for me looking at it is so depressing, but I'm fortunate that I am pursuing a career path I genuinely like and where I can't ever fathom being bored and where my schedule won't be 9-5 but very flexible.

 

That said, OP, if you are depressed about where you are there is nothing wrong with reevaluating career choices and finding something more suitable to you if it's possible. Life's too short to be depressed with your work in my opinion as you spend so much of your time doing it.

[Got it]

Thanks for all the replies everyone.

 

I do enjoy my job a lot, I just started and honestly I lucked out on such a good job. To get a job like this right out of school is VERY rare. I lucked out, because I knew the right people and my timing for finding work was spot on.

 

I think the problem is I miss other things. I miss being able to sleep in, or staying at home and doing what ever I wanted. Funny thing is over a month ago I hated being home. I felt like I was wasting my life sitting at home when I could start my career and earn something. Get some job satisfaction, gain some work experience and interact with more people.

 

The biggest thing for me is my sleep pattern. I find I get sleepy when I get home, then I have a power nap for 2 hours. That takes out more of my day away... then again it doesn't help that I lay in bed when I'm home. I think that makes it worse off.

 

My plans are to get more involved with volunteering events and attending more meetup groups, which I haven't done since forever. I find in my field though we tend to be very work busy with an overload in work. I'm new so right now the company is taking it easy on me for the next 6-12 months.

 

I have a project on the way that I need to complete outside work and school in the evenings. I think once I start with that, then this feeling will go away. That I think is because I will be so busy with my time that it won't make me feel like I am missing out or anything.

 

Most of us get tired late afternoon. Instead of napping, get your blood pumping. Work out, run, walk, etc. You will feel energized and you will be able to keep going until night time.

 

And sleeping in? What is that?

 

I would suggest, learn to count your blessings. Like you have said, in a moment's time you could get much busier and you will miss the free time you used to have. So always look at the silver lining and enjoy what you have today.

[GemmaUK]

Find another job with shifts so that you can lie in.

You will likely work later in the day though.

 

 

Otherwise, life generally means work for the things you want.