jamie3 Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 broke up with my gf of 3 years 7 weeks ago. the past few months of long distance had been tough. we had been fighting a lot, i felt less of a spark and started to see her as a friend more than a gf. we didnt see each other much though. she wanted to fight harder but we left. i was unhappy. we tried a last ditch attempt by spending a few days together toward the end which were pretty normal but afterwards when apart again i didnt feel happy so i ended it. she called me yesterday asking if i really wanted this. and didnt it seem wrong to give up after a rough patch of long distance esp when things began to be normal again. i do love her but i have felt happier without the fighting. however whenever i think about her i feel sad. i told her i wasnt sure. and im not. Link to post Share on other sites
WonderWoman911 Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 I don't think you made the wrong choice. The two of you been in the relationship for 3 years, but things are deteriorating between the two of you. Fighting a lot isn't healthy at all, to no one. You also mentioned that you weren't happy anymore. To me,that's the number key factor in being in a relationship. The spark you have for her isn't the same and now you look at her as being just a friend. I would leave it that way. Sometimes people aren't meant to stay in a relationship and I think people always try to pressure themselves in believing that they have to because of the number of years,etc. When people grow apart and things don't work out, you have to just move on. That's life. Remain good friends with her if you like, just let her know that it's the best decision based off of y'all relationship history. Link to post Share on other sites
Marco Valerio Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 I agree with wonderwoman, for what I've read you didn't love her anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jamie3 Posted January 19, 2015 Author Share Posted January 19, 2015 i do love her im sure of it. thats what makes it so hard. Link to post Share on other sites
redbaron005 Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 after a rough patch of long distance esp when things began to be normal again. Was the rough patch after or during the LDR? Why was the relationship long distance? Did you suggest/try couples counseling? How long is a "few months"? If you do change your mind, I would read Anger: Cooling the Flames by Thich Nhat Hanh. Generally, individuals are happiest when they stick to the decisions they have made. I'm not advocating either way at this point, however, if you're sure you still love her, that's a major consideration. Just remember that love isn't always enough, and someone will have to make a sacrifice if you'all do move forward together. Link to post Share on other sites
jonny214 Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 it started a bit before as she said she wasn't sure her heart was fully there which upset me but a few weeks later we had a few amazing months then we went long distance and that is when the problems began, as we didnt see each other much and struggled to adapt. long distance because we finished university. in 7 months we will be in the same city again for work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jamie3 Posted January 20, 2015 Author Share Posted January 20, 2015 it started a bit before as she said she wasn't sure her heart was fully there which upset me but a few weeks later we had a few amazing months then we went long distance and that is when the problems began, as we didnt see each other much and struggled to adapt. long distance because we finished university. in 7 months we will be in the same city again for work. Link to post Share on other sites
bigtrouble Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 (edited) i do love her im sure of it. thats what makes it so hard. If you love her, you can try fix the issues and try to make it work. If communication fails, last resort would be mutual BU. The reason for the Break Up must be clear, both must know this. Each having his/her own space and time to work out the flaws of his/her person. Comeback renewed and improved. Just a thought... Edited January 20, 2015 by bigtrouble Link to post Share on other sites
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