ibmfreak Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 hi, now this is quite wierd but yes 8 out of 10 times i feel ackward when a woman is near me. i just freeze man. i am goodlooking smart tall guy workout regularly very popular in my circle. but i dont know the mood swings. give me some real tips which really work because this foolish thing is comming in the way of my social life and my career. help me Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky Dog Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 Try this... Tell yourself it's the last day of your life...no matter what you say or do, it won't matter because it's the end of the world tommorow! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ibmfreak Posted March 30, 2005 Author Share Posted March 30, 2005 may be but thats not true need somthing more then that Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 ahh your location says u are in India. This is some of the problem. The indian sub-continent is not the best place for promotion of male-female relations. I am of indian descent but born in england and raised is US since age 7 (i am 40 now). Most of the indian male immigrants i see coming over here are very shy with women and many of indian female immigrants are shy with men. Must be partly cultural. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ibmfreak Posted March 30, 2005 Author Share Posted March 30, 2005 yea indians are conservative and proud about their nationality and religion but that doesnt mean that you freeze when you see any other girl or while walking just cant have a glance at the girl walking opposite to you that wierd. so need some help and soon Link to post Share on other sites
gridiron Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 Have you had any experiences with women that make you think this way? Why do you need help so soon? It sounds like this will take some time and experience to change. My suggestion for you at this stage is to make some female friends without the thought of dating them. This is not where you want to be long-term, but it is a first step and will make you feel more comfortable when being around them on a personal level. From there, once you can control this fear you have and are comfortable around women, you can then look at ones to date and have successful relationships with, if that is your goal. Link to post Share on other sites
finalf72 Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 i know your problem. i used to have this problem. theres a 80 % chance that whats happening is you dont see the girl as a person, u just see the girl as a girly female. you have to not think of sex, or how they are all pretty with their perfume and hair and stuff. thinking like this works for me and cured me . so remember, think of her as a another human, a person, with ideas and hobbys, and freinds, has a family, someones best freind, etc. stuff like that. i know its hard, but after a while it gets easy. the hard part is keeping this new belief system. keep at it and you will soon have many friend girls, and stuff, and soon, you wont even care anymore. once u dont care about getting a girl so much anymore, thats when u get a gf, i know cuz some girls asked me out when i masterd my solution. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale (i am 40 now) ...oh, sorry. To the OP, yeah, it sounds like you need to work on your self esteem. A lot of people I know take karate classes to improve their self esteem and physique. Do they offer things like that there? Don't look at females as being 'out of your league'. All women are human and we loooove loooove loooove attention. Just go for it! Rejection is the worst it can be! Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 i think i know where your problem lies. Your encounter with any woman of sort, you will begin getting nervous and assuming "she is the one" or you get the idea in your head you want to f*** her. What would be a good idea is to picture them as one of the guys. Treat them like one of the guys too. Sure she has some tits, a cute face and different genitals...but as you dont picture her as a potential date, usually the problem will go away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ibmfreak Posted March 30, 2005 Author Share Posted March 30, 2005 thanks finalf72 your idea is great man .it works god i will surely try that. its simpler as well true. i like it thanks again. give me some more tips if you have. Link to post Share on other sites
finalf72 Posted April 9, 2005 Share Posted April 9, 2005 your welcome dude thats all i got besides the obvious - be yourself. being yourself helps too Link to post Share on other sites
norcaldivr Posted April 9, 2005 Share Posted April 9, 2005 Dude, you could have been me some years back. And the other posters are right on. Like you I couldn't be myself or feel comfortable when talking to women. Because of this I came off as desperate which is an almost universal turn-off. The feeling that I *had* to make this person like me just wouldn't go away and caused me one frustration after another. Then after doing research I realized the universal truth so well said above. You have to be confident in yourself so you don't need the acceptance of others. Ironicly, when you don't need their acceptance you will recieve more of it. I'm still not great at it but when I feel like I am backsliding I just remind myself how far I've come. For some guys it comes so naturally but for me, I have to work at it. The key is practice, practice, practice. It will come slowly over time. And remember even the best Don Juan types get more rejections than acceptances. They just don't take rejection personally and move on to the next one. This is important. At first I thought "what a loser I am to have to develop this skill" but recognizing that one needs improvement in an area of ones life and then agressivly attempting to change it and not get discouraged is hardly the sign of a loser. This is what winners do. One final thing: Just being yourself is very important and should be the goal. The trick is to be comfortable with being yourself. Then success will follow. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
finalf72 Posted April 9, 2005 Share Posted April 9, 2005 good tip norcaldivr, and to add to that, if its gonna take a while, no matter what, dont count the days of how long youve been doing it ; itll just make it seem long and hard and tedious. with my solution, i didnt think about time, and soon i lost count of the days and just kept doing it as a routine Link to post Share on other sites
Fuzzy Chickens Posted April 10, 2005 Share Posted April 10, 2005 The fastest, most effective solution to this problem is to hire a hooker. Link to post Share on other sites
finalf72 Posted April 12, 2005 Share Posted April 12, 2005 nah, hookers have like, a million STDs, potentialy. its not worth it Link to post Share on other sites
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