autumnnight Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 And no one in a happy marriage cheats. Actually, statistics do not bear this out. Now, I do not think everyone who THINKS they had a happy marriage necessarily actually had one, BUT there are more people than one might think whop cheat while at the same time saying their marriage is happy. However, I would think accepting the above would be hard for someone who was helping the WS cheat on his or her spouse. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
toolforgrowth Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 OP, you don't have to understand why. And likewise, BS's who choose to stay aren't obligated to justify their actions to you. The bottom line is you weren't a participant in their marriage. You wouldn't stay if your wife cheated, just as I didn't stay with mine. That's because my xW had absolutely no redeeming qualities that made R a compelling, or even reasonable, option. But that was my marriage, and my ex wife; not yours or anyone else's. Some resurrect their marriage from the ashes and live happily, and I applaud them for it. The truth is, however, most don't. I see no reason to poison a happy minority with the experiences of the majority. People will make their own choices, regardless of what we think...period. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NoC Posted January 24, 2015 Author Share Posted January 24, 2015 Thanks everyone for your input. I apologize from the bottom of my heart for my abrasive posts that were blasting others who did not agree with my points of view. I now see what I did wrong, and for that I throw away my pride i'm truly sorry. As for the MW that I used to be in love with when I was single (prior to my stbxw), her husband approved of our friendship although sometimes he would tease us jokingly in a way that showed his indirect jealousy (like brother and sister). I always indirectly encouraged her to invest in her marriage, and to be honest I feel that I did their marriage a favour. I am no longer friends with this woman for other reasons. I feel that if I was a man with less self control, it would have become a full blown PA/EA and really damaged their marriage. Perhaps I don't want to admit to myself that it was an EA, but it looks like it was, but I feel it was at least moderated and controllable. When I had to go NC because of our falling out, I was not hurt nor missed her, just like with my stbxw (hence why I said maybe i'm a psychopath). Anyway everything is a mess guys. I'm sorry for taking out my dissappointments on you by being abrasive and not being open minded with your points of view. I love you all, truly. I now have the answers I wanted from my OP. If there are anymore things you want to add or discuss regarding this, then fire away otherwise this thread can be closed by the mods as they see fit. Thanks all -thumbs up- 6 Link to post Share on other sites
gettingstronger Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 I doubt you're a psychopath. You just seem wounded by several relationships. I hope you continue on your path to clarity and peace. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 I agree. Very few people who are psychopaths post hurting on forums. Most people who label someone a psychopath just don't know their whole story. Link to post Share on other sites
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