Isabella82 Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 I have been reading a lot of posts of people giving advice on not to marry right after high school. I agree with this 100% but when is the right age to get married. I actually read a study that said that people that get married before the age of 25 have an 80% chance of getting divorced then those that get married after 25. I just wonder from other peoples experiences what is a good age. I know that an individuals frontal lobes aren't fully developed til after 25, so a person changes lot before that age. I am just hurt by the fact that my ex wanted to marry me and then broke up with me, and I think maybe it is just his age. My dad says wait til I am 30. What do you guys think? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 Wait until you find someone without whom your life will be bleak. It could come when you're 27 or when you're 42 but you must never settle for less just because you hit a certain age. Link to post Share on other sites
Lolla Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 I feel like anyone in the teens to 20 should not be married, Marriage is not a goo goo gaa gaa game and I think young adults of this age think that way ... It just ends in heartache... I think you marry when the perfect person for you comes along .. (that being after the ages I stated) ... A good age though ... since were asking for age brackets ... My opinion .. late 20's - early 30's. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 Maybe it had more to do with his maturity than his age. My personal opinion is that a good age to consider marriage is after around 24 or 25 -- live a couple of years after college, work, and have some experiences and responsibilities as a single person, then think about marriage. I think its important for people to be self-sufficient and learn that they can take care of themselves. Really, there is no age that dictates that. I've used the mid-twenties as a guideline all my life and darn if I didn't meet and marry my husband when in my mid-20's! (He was in his 30's, but maturity wise, well.... ) Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 After age 25. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 I got married when I was like 19, it was the most stupid thing that I've done Now I want to wait until I am like 25 or 26 to move in with him!!! Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 After 25. I got married when I was 21 and divorced when I was almost 24. Link to post Share on other sites
wildanduntamed Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 I have to agree with Hokey on this one. I am 25 and my fiance is 31. We get along swimmingly, and therefore it is right for us. I really think tho that it is pretty much situation specific, in that based on different ages, maturity, and compatibility, things may be different. I have had friends marry the summer after high school, I have had friends marry in their 30s and 40s, and friends marry in between. I have seen relationships strive and seen some fail, all based on the points I listed above, but, I think that with a little work, anything can survive. The way I see it, if the decision makes a person happy, who are any of us to put it down? If it feels right, do it! Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 I say after 25 too. I wed at 20, divorced at 25. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 Originally posted by Isabella82 What do you guys think? a man should never marry Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 31, 2005 Share Posted March 31, 2005 a man should never marry Well certainly some men should never marry. Link to post Share on other sites
Groovy Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 I think it depends on the person. The good part about doing it when your young is your typically more open to change. I am in my 30's and if I ever get married I will constantly struggle with the fact I have had to make no compromise since I was 15 and sent off to live at school. I want things done my way and I control it all. It's a big issue for me, now that I spend quite a bit of time with my BF. Some people get married when they are 18 and it's great. They've dreamed of it their whole lives, it's all they wanted to be since they were young, a wife and mother. Other people wants a career, a home, a masters or a PhD before they consider marraige or children. And some people never want it, it holds them back from what they really enjoy and and want to acheive. I can't relate to anyone who gets married out of high school and feels like they have done all they wanted. But my point is that everyone is different and we all want different things. I personally feel you should have financial stability and independence established for a few years, indicating you are responsible, because marriage is an ever greater responsibilty. I read a news article where a women got married for a first at the age of 87 years. And I know someone who did it at 55 years of age. As well as 17 ny choice. To each their own....... Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted April 2, 2005 Share Posted April 2, 2005 I want things done my way and I control it all. It's a big issue for me, now that I spend quite a bit of time with my BF. I know a lot of women like that. It mystifies me how someone could love having things 'their way' more than having someone around that they love. If anyone can explain it, I'd be grateful. Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted April 2, 2005 Share Posted April 2, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme It mystifies me how someone could love having things 'their way' more than having someone around that they love. If anyone can explain it, I'd be grateful. Because they love in their way. And their way only. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Isabella82 Posted April 2, 2005 Author Share Posted April 2, 2005 Originally posted by zara you are 22 and 24!! Good grief, find something else to think about besides getting married! Go travel, get a promotion, get some more 'me' time in before you become part of an 'us'. Seriously, you are far too young to worry about getting married any time soon. I read this in another forum and I know Zara is right. But it is just so hard not to worry about marriage. A lot of my friends are getting married, and I sometimes wish I just had that in life. Link to post Share on other sites
Groovy Posted April 2, 2005 Share Posted April 2, 2005 Moimemme and D'Arthez, I think it's typical to be on your own for 17 years it's hard to do things differently. MY BF is 6'8 and a 3x my bed is small so I have to sleep on my side, no room to lay on my tummy. He is messy and I am not. He blares the TV. He snores and I have heard silence for the past few years. He, in little ways changes my environment and it takes getting used to. I'm sure many of these things like the snoring, one day I will miss if it isn't next to me. But right now it, along with many things takes getting used to. I don't have to think everything someone does is adorable. I am sure I do annoying things too. It doesn't mean we are selfish and could care less for one another. You both said you are mystified. It's not selfishness, it's change and reality sometimes it's not all smitten moments. Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted April 4, 2005 Share Posted April 4, 2005 Originally posted by Groovy I don't have to think everything someone does is adorable. I am sure I do annoying things too. It doesn't mean we are selfish and could care less for one another. You both said you are mystified. It's not selfishness, it's change and reality sometimes it's not all smitten moments. I can really relate to this myself. It took a lot of adjusting for me, when I first lived with my fiance. It's not that you care more about your own selfish pursuits, than having that person there. It's that it actually is hard to change your habits and let things go, and adjust to someone elses. It can be uncomfortable, challenging and difficult to do so. Sometimes, those feelings, along with the desire for control, can be quite strong, and even overwhelming sometimes. It takes effort to get them under control, and focus on changing, adapting, and of course, focussing on oving and appreciating the partner in your life. The older you are, and the longer you have lived alone, the harder it can be, I do agree with that. Perhaps it also depends on your personality type and how you're wired. Obviously, I am fairly intense, and a control freak, so maybe I found it harder than some would. As for marriage, personally I think 25 and upwards... younger than that you have a lot of growing to do. Of course, some marry at 21 and live happily ever after, so it is still dependent on the two people involved. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted April 4, 2005 Share Posted April 4, 2005 But it is just so hard not to worry about marriage. A lot of my friends are getting married, and I sometimes wish I just had that in life. It's not like a car - something you get because 'everybody else has one'. Maybe some of your friends are getting married for that reason, too. And their marriages may not last so don't be envying them. Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted April 4, 2005 Share Posted April 4, 2005 when the time is right it will come into your life, if it is meant to I had a list of things I thought I would have done by the time I was 30. Some of them I have done, others I havent. I have also done a whole heap of things I didnt plan. Bottom line, my list of things aside, my life so far has been good and fulfilling. Now, I may imagine where I will be when I hit 40. Odds are, I will be someplace different to the one I imagine. And that's OK. POint being, life has a funny way of turning corners. Marriage and other things can't always be planned when we think they should happen, and they dont always turn up on cue either. but other things happen in the meantime, and they are often great. Link to post Share on other sites
Newlywed83 Posted April 4, 2005 Share Posted April 4, 2005 Hey I married when I was 20. We have been married almost a year now. If someone asked me what the right age is I would say when it feels right. Only you know if you are mature enough to handle the challenges being married can bring. I love my husband. We have been together for four years and I can't imagine not having him next to me. We work everyday to keep our marriage going strong. It is a lot of work but when you find the right person at the end of everyday all that work is well worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
SadAndLonely Posted April 16, 2005 Share Posted April 16, 2005 After you've gotten an education (beyond high school, and not necessarily college), a job, and developed your own sense of self. In other words, after 25. Not everyone matures by then, but I don't think people should get married earlier than then, no matter how mature they say they are. Focus on your own life for a while. Your biological clock doesn't stop ticking in your 20's, unless you're really unfortunate. Link to post Share on other sites
Sitkarose Posted September 20, 2005 Share Posted September 20, 2005 You will ALWAYS hear negative and positive things about the age to get married. There is no answer to this. My parents were married at 19 and have celebrated their 2th anniversayr this year. My grandparents were 17 and this is their 50th! My girlfriend married at 23 and was divorced by 25. My other girlfriend married at 20 and is going on 4 years now. IF IT WERE ME. I am going to get married when I feel like it. When I feel I can spend the rest of my life with that person, even if everyday is work, come home, cook dinner and go to bed. I ask could I be with that person the rest of my life if this is how lame it will be? If the answer is yes, then go for it. Just know that every relationship whether it is a friendship or marriage wil ahve HARDSHIPS. And you cant just walk away from them. Link to post Share on other sites
Firebird Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 Any time before 25 is to young. I'm 28 and I still find myself chaning wanting different things and I'm getting married in 2 weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
Tamrick Posted October 3, 2005 Share Posted October 3, 2005 I'm 26 and my boyfriend is 31. I would like to get married and I feel ready to, but this time last year I was not ready. I wanted to settle down a bit and feel like I was earning a reasonable amount of money and could cope with the stresses of working cause I only started working the beginning of last year. Now I must just wait til my boyfriend feels ready. I would say though that any age is the right age to marry provided that you are ready to commit to someone and make the effort to make it work. That requires a fair amount of emotional maturity which some people don't have when they are 50 and some never have, but which some 18 year olds may have. Link to post Share on other sites
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