madmancoolman Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 .. Through my whole life I been back stabbed. I just came out of a depression mode that lasted for 4 years. I been doing much better now, for a whole year now. Now I have a gf... As we get to know each other I told her hey look here are my problems and I'm trying my hardest to change and fight these issues. She said its fine and that I'm the only one for her that she won't do nothing to hurt me. She said its fine if I'm over protective and insecure. She told me this numerous times... I just wish that she didn't have to tell me that. I wish, I can walk with confidence knowing that. I even told her if she doesn't like my issues she can leave me. She said no. I'm slowly falling in love.. and I very scared... Help I want this to really workout. Im fighting daily!! Link to post Share on other sites
Van AZN Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Understandably we cannot fully understand the pain you have felt in the past nor can we pretend to offer a cure-all solution. But one path to better developing the confidence (or peace in your heart) you seek would be through meditation. Sadness and non-clinical depression can be tied to the feeling of absence of something you were once attached to. For example, when my ex-gf broke up with me to date other guys, I felt betrayed and sad because I had feelings of attachment towards what we had. After discovering meditation, I realized that the attachment and absence of her has lead me to many sleepless nights. Understanding that concept was the first step in appreciating the present and being mindful of the life i currently live (ie the friends i can hang out with, the stuff im learning everyday, my mom that cooks bomb chicken rice, etc...) Meditation teaches us to be mindful of the present and dissolve attachments. The confidence to trust someone comes at a high price and can be extremely painful when it's violated. There's no easy solution but to manage your feelings and let your partner understand and respect your emotional potential. Best of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
MisUnderstood1 Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 (edited) .. Through my whole life I been back stabbed. I just came out of a depression mode that lasted for 4 years. I been doing much better now, for a whole year now. Now I have a gf... As we get to know each other I told her hey look here are my problems and I'm trying my hardest to change and fight these issues. She said its fine and that I'm the only one for her that she won't do nothing to hurt me. She said its fine if I'm over protective and insecure. She told me this numerous times... I just wish that she didn't have to tell me that. I wish, I can walk with confidence knowing that. I even told her if she doesn't like my issues she can leave me. She said no. I'm slowly falling in love.. and I very scared... Help I want this to really workout. Im fighting daily!! Wow, you've found yourself a good lady and she sounds like an understanding person. Most people will be judgemental in you open up to them and tell them your problems. I think it's good to work on yourself and be confident when you're in a relationship, though, otherwise it's going to affect it and probably turn her off. She's staying with you, despite your flaws. People like her are hard to come by. Keep her close, you lucky guy. Edited January 22, 2015 by MisUnderstood1 Link to post Share on other sites
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