whichwayisup Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 She has no special needs, my wife said, if she had special needs she would have been ok. I want to have a relationship with my daughter. At the same time, her mom takes good care of her. So what? You are her father. If you walk out of your daughters life, you'll regret it. You will miss out on EVERYTHING and it'll be very hurtful towards her too. Could you imagine not walking your daughter down the isle when she gets married? Not being in her life at all? All for what, because your wife has insane jealously issues and is controlling! Link to post Share on other sites
waterwoman Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 if you are seriously considering conceding to you wife's demands,I would honestly wonder if your daughter wouldn't be better off without you. Shame on you both! Personally I would dump the spouse and keep the daughter. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 At the same time, her mom takes good care of her. I can't even believe I'm reading this... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadbird Posted January 24, 2015 Author Share Posted January 24, 2015 She says, if she saw my daughter, it will remind her that i fu.... her mom to give birth to her. . I did not see her till this week, since they moved to another state. No my ex is not there when i see my daughter. What is it about your relationship with your daughter that your wife finds threatening? How often you see her? Is your ex always there when you see your daughter? It's great that your ex is a good mother. But she will never be able to be a good father to your daughter. And neither will a stepfather, if the future calls for it. You have to understand that a father-daughter relationship is irreplaceable. I'm sure you don't want your daughter to be wondering what she did wrong to drive away her father. And i know you don't want to miss sharing that bond. What your wife is asking is extremely selfish. IMO, is unfathomable for a father to willingly give up his child. Link to post Share on other sites
MissTrudy Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 the fact that you're even contemplating abandoning your daughter–your own flesh and blood that YOU helped bring into this world–for a woman is disgusting. You don't deserve to be in your daughter's life. How old is your daughter? Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 She says, if she saw my daughter, it will remind her that i fu.... her mom to give birth to her. . I did not see her till this week, since they moved to another state. No my ex is not there when i see my daughter. Unless she expects to be with a virgin the reality is whoever she is with has had sex with other women. Tell her to seek therapy. This woman has issues. She knew you were sexually experienced and had a child when she met and then married you. If she couldn't handle that she shouldn't have married you. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
still_an_Angel Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 Your daughter did not ask to be related to you, but she is, from your own flesh. Your wife has accepted you as her husband, this was her choice, how do you even weigh the choice over your own blood? Your wife knew you were married beforehand, and that meant you had sex with your first wife, you can't erase that. Its beyond comprehension to be thinking of your sexual relations with your first wife and be jealous of that! Your wife has serious issues, but don't bend to such ridiculousness, your child remains your child until you die, a wife however, does not even hold a drop of your blood. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 (edited) She says, if she saw my daughter, it will remind her that i fu.... her mom to give birth to her. . I did not see her till this week, since they moved to another state. No my ex is not there when i see my daughter. Oh, I see. So, for the sake of this woman's extremely twisted brain, you should abandon your daughter so that your wife can pretend that you never had sex with anyone other than her. That makes perfect sense. You should do that. You should tell your daughter to kiss off because your insane wife is more important to you than she is. You seem to think that there's some form of logic from your wife that will make it understandable for her to want you to stop seeing your daughter. There is absolutely no good reason for this. No sane reason, anyway. And you should run very, very far away from this woman. Honestly, why are you even listening to this crap and entertaining the idea of abandoning your daughter?? Instead of wondering what's wrong with your wife, I really have to ask you why you did not immediately laugh in her face and tell her that wild horses couldn't drag you away from your daughter; and anyone who even hints at that idea can drop off the face of the earth for all you care. And, btw, just in case you missed it - your charming wife made plans to put a wedge between you and your daughter long before she married you. So, this was all planned. Once she got you where she wanted you, knowing you're weak enough to be convinced (because you'll apparently do anything to avoid a divorce), she planned to pull this stunt on you. If you stay with this woman, you'll regret it until the day you die. The same goes for abandoning your daughter. That is a mistake of such great proportions, there are just no words. I'm especially concerned by your passivity when you rationalize this by saying that your daughter is well taken care of by her mother. So, what you're actually saying is, since your daughter is taken care of, it's better to cave in to the nut-case wife and abandon your daughter. She probably won't even notice that her dad walked away from her. I hope you wake up really quickly and realize the magnitude of the mistakes you're making. Edited January 24, 2015 by bathtub-row 6 Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 Oh, I see. So, for the sake of this woman's extremely twisted brain, you should abandon your daughter so that your wife can pretend that you never had sex with anyone other than her. That makes perfect sense. You should do that. You should tell your daughter to kiss off because your insane wife is more important to you than she is. I'm glad you said it, because I was thinking it. Anyone who actually has a problem knowing their once married ex had sex with his wife and produced a child before they split is absolutely nuts. Upon realizing my spouse was that kind of detached from reality insane, I might be tempted to have fun with it. Maybe photoshop myself into pornographic images, print them out, and put them up on all the walls in the house kind of fun. Wonder how long it would take for her head to literally explode upon seeing that. Hopefully, her head would explode AFTER she packed her sh*t and went on her merry way. Link to post Share on other sites
Winterina Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 I'm glad you said it, because I was thinking it. Anyone who actually has a problem knowing their once married ex had sex with his wife and produced a child before they split is absolutely nuts. Upon realizing my spouse was that kind of detached from reality insane, I might be tempted to have fun with it. Maybe photoshop myself into pornographic images, print them out, and put them up on all the walls in the house kind of fun. Wonder how long it would take for her head to literally explode upon seeing that. Hopefully, her head would explode AFTER she packed her sh*t and went on her merry way. There is something wrong with BOTH of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 You should not be entertaining this. It's sheer lunacy. Your child.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 There is something wrong with BOTH of you. How? She is a complete tw*t to suggest he abandon his own child because she can't handle knowing he had sex with another woman. And I'd have fun with that! Any person who suggested I abandon my own child because they couldn't handle knowing I had sex with someone I was once married to would be someone I would have no problem messing with while they pack their gear and GTFO. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 How? She is a complete tw*t to suggest he abandon his own child because she can't handle knowing he had sex with another woman. And he's a complete dick to even be entertaining the notion, and asking what we think! OP, seems the entire thread is made up of responses all agreeing that your wife is a complete waste of space, time and effort in this matter. So - what are YOU going to do about this?! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 And he's a complete dick to even be entertaining the notion, and asking what we think! OP, seems the entire thread is made up of responses all agreeing that your wife is a complete waste of space, time and effort in this matter. So - what are YOU going to do about this?! I've been hoping he posted it the way he did so that he could show her what other people think of this idea and support his position that what she is asking is nuts. Link to post Share on other sites
Cynicalme Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 What? Seriously? You're actually entertaining this? is your wife's vagina made of gold? Get the darn divorce, and grow a set while you're at it. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 Sorry but, for how long have you known her before you married her? Or was she the woman you left your last wife for? Doesn't matter, a woman who thinks of the role as "wife" as a free card to put pressure on their partner is bad news. Divorce as fast as you can. Link to post Share on other sites
loveboid Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 Why doesn't your wife get along with your daughter? Aren't you encouraging them to get along? Why did you marry your wife if she doesn't get along with your daughter? You aren't doing anything to cause a rift between them, right? If you're doing everything right then your wife might be a mean, selfish person who will secretly go out of her way to harm your daughter. Sorry. If that's so then yes divorce her, IMO. Otherwise, if you don't keep standing up for your daughter, your wife will constantly talk bad about her. If a person says one bad thing about someone I care about, I say four nice things and that shuts them up quick. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 She says, if she saw my daughter, it will remind her that i fu.... her mom to give birth to her. . Please divorce your wife. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Girl31 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 I think both you and your wife need help. How date someone tell you you shouldn't see your children and how do you entertain it without walking out. Your children should be your number 1 priority. That's crazy. If someone said this to me I wouldn't stand for it Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Oh, I see. So, for the sake of this woman's extremely twisted brain, you should abandon your daughter so that your wife can pretend that you never had sex with anyone other than her. That makes perfect sense. You should do that. You should tell your daughter to kiss off because your insane wife is more important to you than she is. You seem to think that there's some form of logic from your wife that will make it understandable for her to want you to stop seeing your daughter. There is absolutely no good reason for this. No sane reason, anyway. And you should run very, very far away from this woman. Honestly, why are you even listening to this crap and entertaining the idea of abandoning your daughter?? Instead of wondering what's wrong with your wife, I really have to ask you why you did not immediately laugh in her face and tell her that wild horses couldn't drag you away from your daughter; and anyone who even hints at that idea can drop off the face of the earth for all you care. And, btw, just in case you missed it - your charming wife made plans to put a wedge between you and your daughter long before she married you. So, this was all planned. Once she got you where she wanted you, knowing you're weak enough to be convinced (because you'll apparently do anything to avoid a divorce), she planned to pull this stunt on you. If you stay with this woman, you'll regret it until the day you die. The same goes for abandoning your daughter. That is a mistake of such great proportions, there are just no words. I'm especially concerned by your passivity when you rationalize this by saying that your daughter is well taken care of by her mother. So, what you're actually saying is, since your daughter is taken care of, it's better to cave in to the nut-case wife and abandon your daughter. She probably won't even notice that her dad walked away from her. I hope you wake up really quickly and realize the magnitude of the mistakes you're making. I cannot like the above post enough. The woman planned to do away with the daughter from the start. OP your wife doesn't love you in a normal or healthy way. If she did she would never ask this of you. If you walk away from your daughter for this woman then that says a lot about the kind of man you are. Your wife will be happy to see you toss your daughter aside but also she will not respect you because ultimately no woman respects a man who rolls over on matters like this. You will lose your daughter and then your batsh*t crazy wife will have even more demands of you. She will insists on more and more sacrifices from you in order to satisfy her narcissistic ego. Soon you will have a wife who has nothing but contempt for you because she will see you as spineless and easily controlled. You are not being very forthcoming with information. Did you have an affair with your 2nd wife before you married her? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 How old are you? Let me put it to you this way because I'm trying to figure out whose more nuts, you or your wife. You have a kid. You were part of the process bringing her in this world. She didn't ask to be born and this girl is your flesh and blood and nothing nothing NOTHING comes before that. If any woman would make such a inexcusable demand on me like your wife did, I would have blown so much smoke up her sorry ass, she wouldn't know what hit her. Listen genius, you better let that poor excuse of a woman know that your daughter is part of you and it stays that way and if she can't handle that then hand her walking papers and tell her to move on ASAP. I can't believe you need to come on this forum and ask such a question sir and you should be ashamed of yourself. Now for once in your life do the right thing and try to be a better father then you are as a man. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadbird Posted January 25, 2015 Author Share Posted January 25, 2015 When I met my wife, I told her I have a daughter, and if she had any problems with it, she said no. It was only after a few months, she started having issues. This was triggered one day, when I told her, I need permission from my ex wife, if i have to leave some where. At that time I was also watching my daughter. This was before we got married to each other. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Your wife has changed the rules and now it is your turn to change the rules. Call her on her sh*t regarding your daughter and when/if she does not, then divorce her for cruel and manipulating tactics. You don't want to live your life this way, do you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadbird Posted January 25, 2015 Author Share Posted January 25, 2015 I am not going to break any contact with my daughter, I will always be in her life. My first marriage was a disaster, I got married when I did not want to, due to pressure from her family side. There was no love in our marriage. My Wife says the same, you never loved her. Leave the past and start fresh with her. But how can i leave my daughter, its impossible. I want to try my best, first we will go and see a marriage counselor. I am 35. I do get worried that a second divorce on my record will be bad. May be I will stay single all my life. Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Your first wife isn't flesh and blood, so having nothing more to do with her is fine. Your daughter is a completely different issue, and your current wife needs to be made to see that. And yes, if she refuses to budge, there's absolutely nothing wrong with being single. In fact, under these circumstances, I'd almost recommend it. But you can never, as you rightly ask, ever abandon your daughter, and being single is preferable to doing that. Your wife needs to be told this. There IS no compromise or argument here, it's not up for discussion. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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