Friends again with Ex...will there be more?

[koala99]

Hi, and thank you in advance for all the advice.

 

My ex and I were in a 2,5 year relationship in Country A and lived together for 2. Things weren't always great and we had ups and downs. She always cared a lot about me, loved me and tried to make me happy but I just didn't seem to care and was never really there for her when she needed me. She moved to country B and after a few months we broke up, because her reasoning 'I felt alone and you not being there for me hurt me a lot, so I figured than I might as well be alone and not be hurt as much.'

 

We broke up a few months ago and pretty much went through very little contact for weeks, we would text about ones to twice a week and this often consisted of no more than two texts being send to each other with several days in between replies.

 

In the past few months I have changed a lot, started doing things for myself again and really enjoying life. Being happy again and loving every bit of it.

 

I went to visit her about a week ago for a weekend. At first she was very hesitant on meeting me but I told her I had a few things to say to her, which was basically me apologizing for being such a jerk. We had an amazing afternoon followed by dinner. She could see how much I changed and seemed pleased. On the other hand I could tell how unhappy she was in Country B and sad. Later that night I went back to my hotel and she called me asking me if I was safe and that she still cares a lot about me, she ended up bursting into tears over the phone, asking me to see her the next day and that she knows she made a mistake by going to have drinks with her friends and not hang out with me more. I agreed to see her the next day.

 

The next day we hung out the entire day and had a lot of laughs, just a great day. I ended up staying there till late in the evening, when I said I was going to my hotel she asked if I would be safe and I said I'm sure I will be. She replied by saying she'd rather have me sleep at hers 'on the couch' just to be safe. As I was laying on the couch and she in her bed, she told me that she enjoyed the day and 'it all felt so right and comfortable.' I ended up sleeping in her bed (no sex), holding her hand and falling asleep together.

 

When we woke up I had to rush to the hotel to check out and gather my stuff, she told/asked me to come back to hers after the hotel and I said yes. When I got back to her house, she explained why she broke up with me, burst into tears again and told me now that you've changed so much and back to the guy I fell in love with im not sure if I made a mistake. I wasn't sure what to say back so I kept quiet. She then said that she doesn't want to get hurt again so she doesn't know what to do. We kissed and hugged. Than she took me to the airport and asked me if we'll ever end up together again to which I said yes and smiled.

 

We didn't kiss at the airport, we hugged a lot and she kissed me on the cheek.

 

Now that I'm back in Country A and she still in Country B, we talk on the phone and text on a daily basis.

 

Is there any way that she still loves me? Will we get back together again if I keep proving to her that I won't hurt her again? Should I keep fighting for her or let her go?

 

I really do love her with all my heart and we all make mistakes. However this situation is just so confusing especially being in different countries I don't know what to do. I don't want to be pushy and say 'hey i can come visit next month'

 

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

[tikay00]

Man, sounds just like my almost reconciliation with my ex. She said the same, "I'm scared you're gonna get comfortable, and revert back to the same things you did or didn't do before". But, unlike your situation, she was kind of hot and cold with me during the "reconciliation", and would text back way later than usual (I know, it's not a big deal, but it was obvious what she was doing).

 

If you guys are contacting each other daily, and it seems natural like before, then I say give it a try. If you're over thinking everything, and stressed out all day, I'd say NC.

 

How do the convos go? Does it feel like BF/GF? Is it like when you guys started going out? Does it seem like she wants to talk all the time?

[koala99]

The convos are kinda nice. They feel natural and aren't weird or awkward. Honestly it does feel like the conversations we used to have before we were official BF/GF. We both have a lot of studying and we both live in different countries now...but under those circumstances it does seem like whenever she has time she wants to talk and seems quick on the reply. Most of the time within seconds every now and than a few hours because of her studying. (I am the same, during the day I'll reply less fast because I'll be busy, but in the evening/night I'll reply pretty quickly).

 

Its just freaking confusing, it does seem like the weekend we spend together helped us realize our feelings for each other, but being in different countries its really hard to keep that going without seeming pushy.

 

Do I invite her to come to me for a weekend? Do I go to her for a weekend again? How long do I wait to ask her this?