LittleMissUnsure Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Hi all, New to this it just need some advise and would like to know if anyone has been here before... Been with my bf almost 4 yrs. For the last 7mnths ive been sleeping with someone else, a friend. He's soon to be wed (April) to his 15yr partner. They have children. He goes through phases of guilt and saying no more but then he always comes running back. I do fancy him. I don't feel any guilt. When I'm with my bf I don't think about it and when I do, I think of it all as a dream. Now this is the part... I do love my bf and would be gutted if we split but at the same time my feelings for this other guy are getting stronger. Does anyone have any advise/been here before please?? X Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Break up with your BF and tell your "friend"'s wife about what a horrible mistake she's about to make. Once that's done, get yourself into individual counseling to get your narcissism under control, because you're already at the point where you feel no empathy at all. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Poppyolive Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Somebody call Jeremy kyle. I agree with above poster. leave your boyfriend. Let him find someone who won't disrespect him& cheat. Your bit on the side should do the same. What you both do after that is up to you/him. At least the ones that are hurt can move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 You cheat and lie about it, you dont have respect for or love your boyfriend you may think you do but your actions are much more clear then your words. You even stated you feel no guilt. Leave your boyfriend tell him what you've been doing, set him free to find someone in life who wouldnt treat him this way. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Rko28 Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Jesus! I cant believe there are people out there that act and feel like this. What an eye opener this forum is. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Javelin Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Does anyone have any advise/been here before please?? X You see nothing wrong with what you're doing, so what exactly do you want our advice for? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Theleogirl84 Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 I'm not for or against what you do you both are obviously okay with it. I do think that you two should be careful because it does involve other people and should any of them find out you can't predict how some people react when it comes to their feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Hi all, New to this it just need some advise and would like to know if anyone has been here before... Been with my bf almost 4 yrs. For the last 7mnths ive been sleeping with someone else, a friend. He's soon to be wed (April) to his 15yr partner. They have children. He goes through phases of guilt and saying no more but then he always comes running back. I do fancy him. I don't feel any guilt. When I'm with my bf I don't think about it and when I do, I think of it all as a dream. Now this is the part... I do love my bf and would be gutted if we split but at the same time my feelings for this other guy are getting stronger. Does anyone have any advise/been here before please?? X If you feel completely at ease betraying betraying your boyfriend, why come here for help/advice? What do you need help with? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jbrent890 Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 I think the biggest mistake cheaters make is mistaking love for dependency. You don't love someone that you continuously cheat on and lie to. You're dependent on what that person gives you and how they make you feel. Love is putting someone before you. That obviously is not happening here. You asked for advice, so here it is. You need to end things with your BF. You're not ready for a relationship. Your BF deserves better than this and you know it. You're operating under the assumption that what he doesn't know won't hurt him. The thing is, you have know idea if he will figure this out or not. Let's be real, I don't see you confessing to this. You're going let your BF believe he is in a monagomous relationship until you get caught. Does that sound right to you? Also, if you think this is going to end when your OM gets married, then think again. Screwing you is like a drug to him. He tried to end it but he can't. I already know the end to this story. Once he gets married, you guys will cool off for a while, but start back up again. This only ends with one of you getting caught. My money is on him because men are sloppy when it comes to this. I get the sense that you are a one time poster, so I have to ask "are you really going to take any advice you get on here?" I find that most people in your situation don't really come here for advice, but for validation. You want someone to tell you that this is going work out. I can almost promise you it won't. I really do hope you make the right decision by your boyfriend. He sounds like a great guy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Love has many definitions, but this is a particularly meaningful one: "Love is a total commitment to the wellbeing of a person." It's not just about feelings and desire. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 I don't have any guilt but I love my boyfriend! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BeatsByDirk Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 Yeah the affair partner is going to be more attractive for sure, there's no way your boyfriend can win because in your mind he's always the ever-unknowing dupe and the affair partner is the guy who can have it all and take you or leave you at the end of the day. I'm curious how often you still have sex with the boyfriend. If you just give your boyfriend enough sex to appease him and your primary lover is the other guy then the BF is just a consolation prize, a place keeper until a more deserving guy comes along. Don't chastise this poster! She's just not built like you who hold integrity as the cornerstone of relationships. I would like to let you know that when your BF finds out he will be devastated and it probably destroy his self astern for then rest of his life so if you don't absolutely hate this guy you should let him go and the design where you keep this going indefinitely and he never ever finds out is highly unlikely. But you can't break up with him, you love him. That's what the girl I used to bang would say about her boyfriend and I don't doubt that she did love him but I would hate to be him. Link to post Share on other sites
RemainUnchanged Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 obvious troll Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 This isn't real. No one can be this freakin' obtuse. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 Hi all, New to this it just need some advise and would like to know if anyone has been here before... Been with my bf almost 4 yrs. For the last 7mnths ive been sleeping with someone else, a friend. He's soon to be wed (April) to his 15yr partner. They have children. He goes through phases of guilt and saying no more but then he always comes running back. I do fancy him. I don't feel any guilt. When I'm with my bf I don't think about it and when I do, I think of it all as a dream. Now this is the part... I do love my bf and would be gutted if we split but at the same time my feelings for this other guy are getting stronger. Does anyone have any advise/been here before please?? X you don't need help. You're here to gloat. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 My advice is to tell the guy you are cheating on him so he can get rid of you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
changchewsoon Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Yup, I ought to introduce her to you so ya all can be bffs. Too bad, dumped her ass and have been on strict NC until today. Jokes aside, I think you have some serious issues and you need to get help. That is if you're not trolling. Link to post Share on other sites
TG1 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Definite issues and I would say what you are doing is considered s****ish because it is, I mean you have a good man in your life and you are cheating on him with a man who is married or a man that is about to be married but has children you know you are ruining a home by being a homewrecker Link to post Share on other sites
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