li'l bunny Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 I have an issue with trust. I'm not talking just about my H but every man. I don't trust ANY man. Everytime I'm alone with a man, if a friend is giving me a lift or coming to visit I feel so afraid. I feel they have an alterior motive (sexually). I feel they might think I OWE them something sexual and if I don't give it to them they'll take it anyway. I know this is silly. I told my H about it and he said a lot of women feel insecure when they're alone with men but do they feel as insecure and afraid as I do? Even when it comes to H out with his friends for the evening I know I trust him but part of me feels 'he is a man, he will have sex if the opportunity arises'. Please tell me I'm being stupid. I know I am, it's just difficult to shake these feelings of distrust. Link to post Share on other sites
ThumbingMyWay Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 Originally posted by li'l bunny Even when it comes to H out with his friends for the evening I know I trust him but part of me feels 'he is a man, he will have sex if the opportunity arises'. I am married....and I have been betrayed....BUT even if a women was laying there neked...and NO ONE would know...and she said just do it, i wont tell anyone and i will never call you ever again.... I WOULDNT DO IT.... Some men are faithful..... Anyway....your not stupid.....you just have issues with trust.....I would suggest digging deep into your most inner self to see why you have a trust issue.....was there something in you past that may affect your unconsious mind when it comes to trusting men? brother issues, or teenage b/f issues...or even father issue? I never really considered that what happened to me as a child and teenager would affect my unconsious mind as an adult....but through MC....I beg to differ. Thru the process of inner self awareness, you inventory ALL of your life experinces...I mean really sit down and think about what events took place in your life...and try to see IF they affect you now. Its hard to do...because most of our actions are done by the unconsious mind....BUT if you can bring them to the consious mind and really feel them....it serisously makes you look at things in a whole different light... not sure if i helped you....but what i am learning in MC and in this book (Conscious Loving)...its like my whole life has been lived throught my "unconcious" mind. but now that i have tapped into my true feelings thru a consious awareness....I see things totally differently....and i now can change them...and change the way they make me feel. Link to post Share on other sites
TUDOR Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 Just out of curiosity have you ever cheated on your H or any previous BF, etc? Link to post Share on other sites
li'l bunny Posted March 31, 2005 Share Posted March 31, 2005 No I've never cheated on anyone, and I've never had anyone cheat on me. Thumbs, thanks for the advice, I read all your posts and really feel for you. I think you're amazing, to be honest, dealing with all the stuff in your life and still having time to come and advise others. Men and women could learn a lot from you. I admire you. I think you're right, I must have underlying issues. I don't really get on with my brothers, in fact I feel very uncomfortable in their prescence, don't know why. My memory of my childhood is very vague, sometimes I wonder if I'm blocking something out that I don't want to remember. Anyway, I think this feeling of not trusting is probably something I need counselling for as it is affecting my life, no matter how much I would love to deny it and ignore it. It's even beginning to affect whether I go out at night. I haven't been on a night out in three years!! Link to post Share on other sites
ThumbingMyWay Posted March 31, 2005 Share Posted March 31, 2005 Originally posted by li'l bunny Thumbs, thanks for the advice, I read all your posts and really feel for you. I think you're amazing, to be honest, dealing with all the stuff in your life and still having time to come and advise others. Men and women could learn a lot from you. I admire you. I think you're right, I must have underlying issues. I don't really get on with my brothers, in fact I feel very uncomfortable in their prescence, don't know why. My memory of my childhood is very vague, sometimes I wonder if I'm blocking something out that I don't want to remember. Anyway, I think this feeling of not trusting is probably something I need counselling for as it is affecting my life, no matter how much I would love to deny it and ignore it. It's even beginning to affect whether I go out at night. I haven't been on a night out in three years!! thank you....I figure if i can do anything with what has happened to me...and what I am learning from it....it is that I can help people....it can be my personal ministry so to speak... God predestined me for a purpose..... As for help with underlying issue....you bet....Its something that I think will help you. After 1 month of my wife FINALY being 100% into her journey....she has found some core reasons for the way she is....and it will help her grow.. Your childhood is vague for a reason...you need to find it..feel it....deal with it....then use it to make you stronger...a good C will help with this. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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