Blade96 Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 (edited) This is what my LDR ex (he's from belarus, I'm Canadian) said just last night. I did say I love him. But thinking of him today I was just angry. I said This is bitch, you don't know what you want. I reminded him he's known me long distance for almost a year now and he should know what he wants. . I told him to decide or I'm out of his life. I can't stand flaky people. I remind you, I was together with him LDR 6 months and have known him since May. I figure almost a year is long enough to decide what he wants. He dumped me dec 25 and I left him alone for a month. Did I do the right thing? Edited January 23, 2015 by Blade96 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Give him the big boot. If he can't decide which woman he wants, he shouldn't be with either. He's an idiot. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 He broke up with you on Christmas? He sounds like a jerk. Was it before or after exchanging presents? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blade96 Posted January 23, 2015 Author Share Posted January 23, 2015 I sent him one small gift. I don't know if he sent me one. But yes this was after I sent it. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 I sent him one small gift. I don't know if he sent me one. But yes this was after I sent it. You should let the other one have him. He doesn't sound great. The plus is you won't run into him at the grocery store or anything since he is so far away. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blade96 Posted January 23, 2015 Author Share Posted January 23, 2015 (edited) yeah I won't write to him after that. I have him unfollowed on fb and VK (russian fb) so I can't see him on my newsfeed and I will just hang out with other friends on there. I won't even look at his pages. His decision now what he does. I told him to decide or I walk. Edited January 23, 2015 by Blade96 1 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Whoa wait....he's from Russia? Is he gorgeous? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blade96 Posted January 23, 2015 Author Share Posted January 23, 2015 Not Russia. Belarus. And he is handsome. Not a brad pitt or mel gibson, but he's not hard on the eyes. He had always treated me well, we were friends first, we met in may and in early july he asked me for a LDR. I said yes cause he was nice to me. while we were in the relationship he was good to me. Nothing to complain about except this. It's bugging me because we know each other for almost a year now, shouldn't he know what he wants by now. yeah it ended on dec 25 and for a month I left him alone. Til now. I got angry. Link to post Share on other sites
Quest Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Not Russia. Belarus. And he is handsome. Not a brad pitt or mel gibson, but he's not hard on the eyes. He had always treated me well, we were friends first, we met in may and in early july he asked me for a LDR. I said yes cause he was nice to me. while we were in the relationship he was good to me. Nothing to complain about except this. It's bugging me because we know each other for almost a year now, shouldn't he know what he wants by now. yeah it ended on dec 25 and for a month I left him alone. Til now. I got angry. Yes, he should know what he wants by now, IMO. And what you have to complain about is a lot. Why would you want to be with someone who can't decide between you and someone else after a year? It's all about him ... not a good omen. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 This one's easy. You decide for him. What a bunch of govno. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blade96 Posted January 24, 2015 Author Share Posted January 24, 2015 yeah if he chose her, I could be just his fb friend. Leaving is hard, and if he can't do it, (leave belarus for canada) I'm fine with that. some people can't do it, they realize it. But - as it stands now, I can't talk to him when he's with her, and telling me he can't decide between us and saying he still loves me and saying he doesn't know if he loves her and can't decide. It's not respect - to me or to Veronika (the other girl). I told him all this, tonight, jan 23, my time in Canada. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
StrongLass Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 He "can't decide"? Oh F*ck that! A man who's THAT lukewarm about you is NOT worth ANY more time! If he was crazy about you it'd be no contest. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blade96 Posted January 25, 2015 Author Share Posted January 25, 2015 yeah as I said I pulled back. Still have him, but I unfollowed him and don't write him. I am jealous, but more concerned for the new girl, too, not just me. I don't even know if he told her anything about us our history and that he is not sure what he wants. I backed off as I said. btw yes he can take her if that's what he decides, as I said. I live in Canada. She's in his own city in Belarus and works with him. And believe me, if he chose her, I'm not mad, thinking about moving is scary big matter, I guess some realize they can't do it. I just would like to not talk to him (much if at all) until he makes a choice. as I said I don't even know if Veronika knows anything about us or our history and - I just find it kind of - well not respectful. Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 let us know if he tries to come back to you if they dont work out. im curious about this story. dont feel too bad. LDR is hard. you are very far apart. my guy at least lived in the states. he could have made it really happen if he wanted to. he works with her. can feel her touch her have a physical relationship with her. that's awfully tempting to him. at least he was honest with you. but i really do understand your pain. hugs. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blade96 Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 He does work with her. And I'm in canada. Also, it's common for actors to date each other. So there's that too. So I did give him a break. of course we are still friends. we've been close for a year now, almost. We get along very well. I can see us being part of each other's lives forever, whether we are in a relationship - or not. Yeah will definitely tell you when something happens - if he chooses her, or me. If we just stay friends, I'll tell you that too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blade96 Posted February 14, 2015 Author Share Posted February 14, 2015 so he told me today he only loves me as good friend now - he can't love two girls at the same time - I said that means you chose her...ok then thanks It still hurts like hell. we had a good thing going. Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalShine2011 Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 He sounds very rude, and as if he isn't putting you first. You deserve better!! Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 Did I do the right thing? Yes. The regret now is that you didn't do it sooner. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blade96 Posted February 17, 2015 Author Share Posted February 17, 2015 Thanks guys. anyway it's all ok I still chat to him every once in a while. That means I can see other friends (there's a lovely Ukrainian guy I have known for over a year I've got my eye on and he likes me a lot too. I might go for it.) ;) Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what not to do: Do not sit around wondering if he'll be back. Stay in contact or don't stay in contact, but in the meantime, go dating other men and under no circumstances should you say "yes" to the first invitation you get from your man who can't decide. Do not be available, and do not offer any excuses other than a cheery, "Oh, I would love to see you but I have other plans." I'm not saying this will bring him back but it will accomplish a few things: Get you meeting new men, get you out of the house, get your dignity back, and if he is at all interested, make him realize you are not canned goods that keep forever sitting on a shelf. Link to post Share on other sites
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