b52srock Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 I must admit I'm a bit confused at this point in my life. Have been separated for a year after nearly 20 years of marriage. Two wonderful kids, 15 & 11. If you want the full background, its all in the "Separation & Divorce" forum. Anyway....STBex has suddenly been in town for the last three weekends in a row rather than being out of town with his wh*re (or holed up in his apartment with her). He's been spending time with the kids again, even having them spend the night a couple of times. He came over for Easter dinner...complimented me on the jewelry I was wearing, helped put the dishes in the dishwasher, etc. Thanked me profusely for the excellent meal. Just went on and on. Came over on Monday to take the kids to school and again complimented me on the outfit I was wearing. Also said he was going to come over and start doing some of the repairs on the house. Now here's my dilemma... Is it possible he's spending more time with the kids because he really wants to or is it because he just got the latest set of divorce papers referencing his affair and the possibility that his wh*re will be called as a witness should things go to trial? Is his being here alone for the past three weekends because they've actually broken up or is it again, because of the current set of divorce papers? I think I'm truly going nuts! Link to post Share on other sites
RoxStar Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 Is it possible he's spending more time with the kids because he really wants to or is it because he just got the latest set of divorce papers referencing his affair and the possibility that his wh*re will be called as a witness should things go to trial? Is his being here alone for the past three weekends because they've actually broken up or is it again, because of the current set of divorce papers? There could be many reasons. Maybe he does miss the kids, maybe he is realizing the finality of ending the marriage or maybe things are rocky with his current relationship. Now I have a question for you... Are you asking what he is up to because you are just wondering or are you hoping he might be having second thoughts about things? (Not that there is anything wrong with that type of thinking. Its actually a pretty normal reaction when the ex starts coming around more.) Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 In turn I would also have to ask, what your angle is? In addressing your confusion, I'd like to know where your interests lie. Would you reconcile if he attempted? Link to post Share on other sites
Author b52srock Posted April 2, 2005 Author Share Posted April 2, 2005 Yes, reconciliation is a possibility, at least on my part. Granted, he's done some pretty awful things, especially since he moved out, but you don't spend nearly half your life with someone and just shut the feelings off overnight. There would be a lot of things he would have to do to make our marriage work, not the least of which is counselling. In my heart I would still like for things to work out for a number of reasons. On the other hand, I'm not sure he has it in him to even try. Lord knows he hasn't done anything in the past year towards reconciliation, in fact, quite the opposite. That's why the confusion now. I think if I knew what his motives were I'd have a better understanding of how to handle things. On one hand I would like to believe that perhaps he's "seen the light" so to speak...on the other hand, I'm highly suspicious. I like rollercoasters, but keep them in the amusement park...when it comes to my life I'd rather ride the carousel! Link to post Share on other sites
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