je4148 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 This is going to be a long one guys. Get ready for a hell of a story. Ok, I'm 37 she's 31. We are both married with kids. We work together and have for about 8 years. First time I told her I liked her was about 6 years ago. She was already in a relationship with someone else (not with husband). We talked, but I missed my chance. We talked on and off but that's it for a few years. Decide to try again, and dammit if she isn't sleeping with someone else again. Continue to talk. Then one day she invites me over to her house, husband is at work, we kiss a little and that's it. This goes on for a while, but nothing sexual. I buy her stuff. Then we get caught. Talk for a while, then I find out I'm only around to make other guy jealous. We stop talking for a while. She is still friends with second guy and admits she was in love/obsessed with him. So, after another year I decide to try again, and all she will let me do is kiss, rub her boobs and that's it. Says she doesn't want anything like she had before ever again. BTW, she got caught every time. Husband hasn't left her, but doesn't trust her. Anyway, we email only. See each other every other Monday night for about 20 min of making out. We don't want people to know we talk. I did go overboard. I told her I wanted to have sex, bugged her about it. Told her I want her to love me like she did the second guy. She didn't like that cause I kinda bugged her. We email alllllll the time. I can't ignore her for some reason. I really like her a lot. Anyway, we've argued for about a week cause I kept bugging her about same thing over and over. Then I'd threaten to leave, then crawl back and over and over. Ask why I can't have the same chance as the other guys, and so on. She doesn't want anything that physical anymore she says, but she loves kissing. She's not going to meet except on Mondays and won't make a lie to meet any other time. I've bought her a lot of stuff. Talking Burberry purses, clothes, etc. she's a little annoyed right now. What should I do to get her chasing me and want to do more? Just be patient, and wait? Give up, don't really want to do that. Just kiss and enjoy and hope more happens. Ignore her a little? We aren't allowed to talk after 5 pm now. That's when hubby gets home. It wasn't like that till I pissed her off. She has given me one las chance. I just can't help myself with her. She's told me she cares for me. What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Lurkeraspect Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 (edited) This is going to be a long one guys. Get ready for a hell of a story. Ok, I'm 37 she's 31. We are both married with kids. We work together and have for about 8 years. First time I told her I liked her was about 6 years ago. She was already in a relationship with someone else (not with husband). We talked, but I missed my chance. We talked on and off but that's it for a few years. Decide to try again, and dammit if she isn't sleeping with someone else again. Continue to talk. Then one day she invites me over to her house, husband is at work, we kiss a little and that's it. This goes on for a while, but nothing sexual. I buy her stuff. Then we get caught. Talk for a while, then I find out I'm only around to make other guy jealous. We stop talking for a while. She is still friends with second guy and admits she was in love/obsessed with him. So, after another year I decide to try again, and all she will let me do is kiss, rub her boobs and that's it. Says she doesn't want anything like she had before ever again. BTW, she got caught every time. Husband hasn't left her, but doesn't trust her. Anyway, we email only. See each other every other Monday night for about 20 min of making out. We don't want people to know we talk. I did go overboard. I told her I wanted to have sex, bugged her about it. Told her I want her to love me like she did the second guy. She didn't like that cause I kinda bugged her. We email alllllll the time. I can't ignore her for some reason. I really like her a lot. Anyway, we've argued for about a week cause I kept bugging her about same thing over and over. Then I'd threaten to leave, then crawl back and over and over. Ask why I can't have the same chance as the other guys, and so on. She doesn't want anything that physical anymore she says, but she loves kissing. She's not going to meet except on Mondays and won't make a lie to meet any other time. I've bought her a lot of stuff. Talking Burberry purses, clothes, etc. she's a little annoyed right now. What should I do to get her chasing me and want to do more? Just be patient, and wait? Give up, don't really want to do that. Just kiss and enjoy and hope more happens. Ignore her a little? We aren't allowed to talk after 5 pm now. That's when hubby gets home. It wasn't like that till I pissed her off. She has given me one las chance. I just can't help myself with her. She's told me she cares for me. What should I do? Show this to your wife and get her thoughts on your (no sex, every other Monday make outs, gift giving, user, wannabe MOW, non relationship) situation. Or does she and your children not factor in to any of this? SMH. Edited January 25, 2015 by Lurkeraspect 7 Link to post Share on other sites
RickFox Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 You need to let this woman go. She has no interest in you and I.can't figure out why you can't see it. She uses you to feel wanted and all you do is come across as needy, which is a.turn off for most women. When you turn your back on her she'll chase you but only until you shower her with attention again. You need to walk away and forget about her. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
GoldieLox Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Talk about a serial cheater. You're just another name on her list of many. If you really want to subject yourself to being used by her for her physical satisfaction, that's your prerogative, but for the love of God stop spending money on this girl. Every time you buy her an expensive gift she's laughing inside her head. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
pheonixrisen Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 (edited) What should I do? Are you serious ! You should wake the fu#k up ! You are going to destroy your marriage and give immense hurt and pain to your wife ...Over this! Not to mention years of therapy for your family ...So you could stick it in her just like other guys do. You come across as pathetic and desperate and she sees that in you too ! She does not like you ...kisses you for material stuff ! Stop giving her and see how fast she disappears. .. Read your post and keep reading it till you get a bulb switch on in your brains . Edited January 25, 2015 by pheonixrisen 3 Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean89 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 You sound like a teenager wanting to bed the quarterbacks girlfriend. You are married. MARRIED. If you want to chase this girl, have some respect for your wife and let her go. You sound incredibly needy and desperate. I almost pity you, except you have a family you are screwing over so you can make out with a married woman. I can't believe you keep begging this woman to let you screw her. Do you think you can buy sex from her? Please, divorce your wife so she can find a real man who loves her, respects her and doesn't cheat on her. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 She has given you one last chance???? One last chance at what exactly? You are being used. There is no other way to put it. There is nothing you can do to change how she views you and the role she allows you to play in her life. Either accept that role and enjoy it for what it is, or get out if it isn't making you happy. Stop with the gifts unless it is reciprocal, which I doubt it is. You have put her on a pedestal and she is looking down on you from atop. You are obsessed with her and she knows it. That is not a very positive dynamic to a relationship. Treat her as she treats you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author je4148 Posted January 25, 2015 Author Share Posted January 25, 2015 Yeah, I know she is. I find myself checking for her emails constantly. So, supposed to meet tomorrow for a make out session. Said she'll email tomorrow. Should I ignore her for a while? Of course within in an hour of not talking she asks why I got quiet. Should I just pull back and talk less, and see what she does? I'll quit the gifts. Link to post Share on other sites
jbrent890 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Is your wife really that crappy that she deserves to be cheated on like this? I mean a certain part of you has to believe that she deserves better. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
pheonixrisen Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Yeah, I know she is. I find myself checking for her emails constantly. So, supposed to meet tomorrow for a make out session. Said she'll email tomorrow. Should I ignore her for a while? Of course within in an hour of not talking she asks why I got quiet. Should I just pull back and talk less, and see what she does? I'll quit the gifts. wall and head. Link to post Share on other sites
Author je4148 Posted January 25, 2015 Author Share Posted January 25, 2015 Ok, ok, I get it. I'll stop with the gifts and everything. I'll just do as little as possible till she leaves. Might as well kiss her until that happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Yeah, I know she is. I find myself checking for her emails constantly. So, supposed to meet tomorrow for a make out session. Said she'll email tomorrow. Should I ignore her for a while? Of course within in an hour of not talking she asks why I got quiet. Should I just pull back and talk less, and see what she does? I'll quit the gifts. You have to gain some sort of power back. Make her wonder why you have not jumped when she so wishes. Link to post Share on other sites
MuddyRock Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Tell us about your wife. What does she mean to you? How do you picture your life after she divorces you? How will you feel when she finds out and never looks at you the same way again? After she has lost 30 pounds from not eating? Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 You sound like a teenager wanting to bed the quarterbacks girlfriend. You are married. MARRIED. If you want to chase this girl, have some respect for your wife and let her go. You sound incredibly needy and desperate. I almost pity you, except you have a family you are screwing over so you can make out with a married woman. I can't believe you keep begging this woman to let you screw her. Do you think you can buy sex from her? Please, divorce your wife so she can find a real man who loves her, respects her and doesn't cheat on her. Answering the bolded...yes! She makes out with him, he buys her presents. Last I checked, sexual favors in exchange for currency or gifts is prostitution. So, yeah, I guess he did expect to be able to buy sex with a woman who is acting like a prostitute. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
still_an_Angel Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 If she really wants you this would have progressed to the stage that you want. She's keeping you close but at a distance, its not going anywhere and you're just wasting your money, effort, energy, etc on someone who does not want you in the same way. You're better off spending your money on your family where it should go in the first place. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mal78 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 This is going to be a long one guys. Get ready for a hell of a story. Ok, I'm 37 she's 31. We are both married with kids. We work together and have for about 8 years. First time I told her I liked her was about 6 years ago. She was already in a relationship with someone else (not with husband). We talked, but I missed my chance. We talked on and off but that's it for a few years. Decide to try again, and dammit if she isn't sleeping with someone else again. Continue to talk. Then one day she invites me over to her house, husband is at work, we kiss a little and that's it. This goes on for a while, but nothing sexual. I buy her stuff. Then we get caught. Talk for a while, then I find out I'm only around to make other guy jealous. We stop talking for a while. She is still friends with second guy and admits she was in love/obsessed with him. So, after another year I decide to try again, and all she will let me do is kiss, rub her boobs and that's it. Says she doesn't want anything like she had before ever again. BTW, she got caught every time. Husband hasn't left her, but doesn't trust her. Anyway, we email only. See each other every other Monday night for about 20 min of making out. We don't want people to know we talk. I did go overboard. I told her I wanted to have sex, bugged her about it. Told her I want her to love me like she did the second guy. She didn't like that cause I kinda bugged her. We email alllllll the time. I can't ignore her for some reason. I really like her a lot. Anyway, we've argued for about a week cause I kept bugging her about same thing over and over. Then I'd threaten to leave, then crawl back and over and over. Ask why I can't have the same chance as the other guys, and so on. She doesn't want anything that physical anymore she says, but she loves kissing. She's not going to meet except on Mondays and won't make a lie to meet any other time. I've bought her a lot of stuff. Talking Burberry purses, clothes, etc. she's a little annoyed right now. What should I do to get her chasing me and want to do more? Just be patient, and wait? Give up, don't really want to do that. Just kiss and enjoy and hope more happens. Ignore her a little? We aren't allowed to talk after 5 pm now. That's when hubby gets home. It wasn't like that till I pissed her off. She has given me one las chance. I just can't help myself with her. She's told me she cares for me. What should I do? I think she doesn't no how to say no to you. I think she gives you just enough so you don't "bug" her enough to fear you. Honestly, I think she is afraid of you. You sound super obsessive and don't respect boundaries. You want her to love you??? Come on!! You want to get in her pants and you might be bordering on psycho going about it. Check yourself. You giving her gifts doesn't mean she owes you! She doesn't want to have sex.. respect that and walk away. You might be in a heap of trouble if you get yourself in a situation with her and you push it too far because in your brain you feel you are entitled. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 (edited) You don't seem to be a very nice person and are being used by someone else who is also not very nice. I have zero sympathy for you in your self-created misery. Edited January 25, 2015 by Satu Link to post Share on other sites
GoldieLox Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Ok, ok, I get it. I'll stop with the gifts and everything. I'll just do as little as possible till she leaves. Might as well kiss her until that happens. No, you don't "kiss her until that happens", because that just reinforces it in her head that she can keep using you for her physical satisfaction and that you're "cool" with this, and that keeps reinforcing it with parts of your body other than your head (which you're clearly not using) that it's alright to keep doing this. Stop being so thick. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
spookysonata Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 If you stop buying her gifts, the situation will probably resolve itself. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Lurkeraspect Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 (edited) Not sure this is a real situation, but just in case a 38 year old MM (with kids) is being led along, buying Burberry bags (Yea right) for a woman he basically gets to kiss and "rub her breasts" once a month in a car, is for real... What's your marriage like? I see you haven't shared that. Just curious how an apparently grown man thinks this is okay. What's your end game here, OP? Sex? Relationship? Edited January 26, 2015 by Lurkeraspect 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pheonixrisen Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 Ok, ok, I get it. I'll stop with the gifts and everything. I'll just do as little as possible till she leaves. Might as well kiss her until that happens. No you don't get it ! You should not be doing anything at all .You should close shop and remind your self you have a wife and family that is imp and you are lucky to have them ... OR go ahead and do something to get in her pants ....but before that go home tell your wife and give the woman the respect she deserves over this I will kiss you for burberry bags juvenile make out session. You are bordering on psycho. Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 The woman is not attracted to you enough to have sex with you. It's not because she is married as she has never let her marriage stop her before. It's you. You are creepily begging her for sex and demanding that she love you like she loved someone before you. It's weird. Cut it out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 Hey, don't diss Burberry; it's good sh*t. Some of these responses remind me of some of my favorite movies with Roy Rogers and... Trigger. Link to post Share on other sites
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