I really am trying.....

[silentsigh]

So ..it has been a couple of weeks since my boyfriend and I broke up.

Things hadn't been going well for a while and although I was initally shocked ..it really is for the best.

We have known eachother for over 10 years ..and have been on and off or had a connection for most of that time.

We have been living together for the past 4.

The first week I really was determined to be as proactive as possible ..I found a new apt by the end of the week ..during that time I stayed with friends and resisted contact .I forced myself to get up in the morning and go to work , despite being swollen faced, heartbroken and miserable.

The following week my boyfriend had to go away for business..so again the NC was in effect.

Last weekend was the first time we sat down and talked diplomatically about our split .It was heartbreaking , but I was relieved to know that he still cared for me and that he was equally as sad that this has happened .

So we said our farewells and wished eachother good luck.( I don't want to go to in to it ..but it was extremely emotional)..

The reason for our split was due to circumstances regarding our personal insecurites, they unfortunately, were what made us lose our selfs and eachother . We had an amazing connection and were compatible.

I have made a mental decision to avoid contact with him for a long, long time as I need to heal and discover myself again , to regain my self esteem and to pursue and achieve my goals in all aspects of my life .

I think that this is what he needs to do too.

I just wish in my heart that one day there could be a chance , but I have to try and tell myself that this may not ever happen.

As much as I am trying to move on and comprehend that 'I never know what is round the corner' and be positive..I can't help but feel so sad knowing that I all I have now are good memories..it will all be past tense.I feel like I have lost a friend, not just a lover ..

I would really appreciate some advice ...or do you think there could be the possibilty of reconcilliation in the future?

I understand I need to have space and be alone ..but it's so hard .

 

Thanks

[Donut]

No one can tell you whether you'll be together again.......I know, frustrating isn't it?

 

You sound like you understand why it happened and that it's for the best, so you're in a better position then a lot of folks who get dumped.

 

You need to concentrate on you for now, take time for yourself to learn from what has happened. What worked, what didn't work and apply it to your life from now on.

 

Those good memories are a part of you both, you'll never lose them.

 

You're going to have many more happy memories to add to that in the future, maybe not with him, but with someone else, when you're ready.

[silentsigh]

Thankyou for the advice .

You are right and I am looking forward to becoming fully independant .

As it has only been 2 weeks , it is still quite raw . I have the comfort in knowing that each day is a new fresh start and that in a few months time I will be progressing and being good to myself .....

I love and miss him terribly and am trying so hard to focus on 'me' .

Once I move out then hopefully it will be the start of a new me .

I am still in the apt ( as he is staying with friends..i move out at the weekend)..it's so sad being here ...knowing that he's not going to walk through the door and embrace me anymore ...or for us to just sit and talk or to laugh together ...

I'm just waiting for good old father time to give me some healing power!

[Donut]

You've got such a good head on your shoulders!, and it's normal to have these conflicting thoughts. You will miss him and he'll miss you, but you will both move on. Perhaps you can have a acquaintance/friendship one day, but put that to the back of your mind until you're genuinely better.

 

And it will get better x

[silentsigh]

Thanks so much for your thoughts ..

I just feel like such an insecure wreck at the moment , and it's nice to know that someone thinks 'I have a good head on my shoulders' !