OneLife2Live Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 A friend of mine lost her mother last January. She invited me and several other friends to get together on her mom's one year anniversary day of her passing. I was unable to attend as I had some car issues. After I got it fixed I sent her a message letting her know my car was fixed and were they still together. She said no, but to stop by her place, she had a gift for me that she gave everyone in remembrance of her mother. I went there not to get the gift, but to spend some time with her as she needed some support and someone to talk to as her loss has been extremely hard on her. She gave me the gifts. One of them was Rosary Beads. She said they were important part of her mom's life. I told her thanks and that was very thoughtful of her. I am not Catholic by the way. After we visited I hung the beads from my rear view mirror of my car so they wouldn't get tangled. I didn't take them down when I got home. My teenage daughter and I went to the store and she asked me why I had Rosary Beads when I'm not Catholic. I explained the story to her. I don't want to disrespect the beads, maybe hanging them in my car is not a good choice. Since I am not Catholic, what should I do with them? I don't want to throw them out, and I wasn't going to refuse them and hurt my friends feelings. Any Catholic's out there that can give me some advice? Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Could they mean anything to you in any votive sense? beads are used by many cultures... Buddhism uses malas, to count recitations of particular mantras....(I'm Buddhist but was christened a Catholic! ) So if they have any form of spiritual use, adapt them as you see fit. If not, hang them on a little nail, in a place that will make you smile when you see them... my mother has a rosary that belonged to her now deceased sister, hanging on a pin at an east window... when she sees the sunrise, it makes the rosary twinkle... and that's how she feels her sister still speaks to her.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author OneLife2Live Posted January 25, 2015 Author Share Posted January 25, 2015 Thanks for your reply. I'm Christian so I honestly can't think of anyway to display them. I thought about laying them across my Bible. I like the way your mother displays her sister's, that's a neat idea. Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 You can still use them, even if you're not Catholic. Just say the prayers you want to say.... It's simply a counter, when all is said and done....I'm sure God would be flattered, and Mary won't mind in the slightest.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 IMO, if you have other interaction-related keepsakes from that friend, like cards, letters, gifts, etc, find a small pouch for the beads and store them with the items from that friend. As an example, I have the rosary beads my father carried with him when in battle during WW2. He often prayed, he said, and those beads helped him during some pretty dark months in Italy during the war. Now, I'm not a practicing Catholic and could care less about rosary beads so I took them, along with the little leather pouch they were in, and stored them in a small box containing relevant memories of him, like his war medals, letters to home, newspaper clippings regarding him, etc, etc. Since your friend is still alive (my dad's long dead), she may ask you about the beads at some point and this suggestion can provide you with an honest answer which respects the value of her gift. It also respects that you are not interested in the religious aspects of the beads and provides a method of return if at some point that avenue is explored. Good luck and kudos to you for having such a good friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 If it were me I would just put them in your jewelry box or nightstand drawer or whatever type of place you put keepsakes, they aren't part of your faith and they don't carry any other significance other than being supportive of your friend. If it had been your Mom that had passed away and those were her beads then to me maybe displaying them on a bible would be appropriate. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Hanging them from your rear view mirror is fine. It's a nice reminder that Jesus is close by. It may also help stop you from flipping off bad drivers...who knows? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author OneLife2Live Posted January 25, 2015 Author Share Posted January 25, 2015 Thank you for all your replies. They are some great ideas. Being Christian, they have no meaning in my faith. I don't have any other cards, letters, etc from her mother's death other than the owl key chain my friend also gave me with the Rosary Beads. Her mother liked owls. The beads didn't personally belong to her mother, she made us all Rosary Beads so they aren't blessed or anything like that. But, I do really appreciate the thought behind the beads. I already have a cross hanging from my rear view mirror in remembrance of Christ dying on the cross for our sins so I honestly don't want to put the beads there. Too many things hanging from the mirror aren't really safe either but that made me laugh about flipping off bad drivers, lol! This friends isn't a close friend. She is actually a former client of mine but now no longer is. I was there for her through a lot in her life. She was my client for 5 years. After she no longer was approved for my services we remained in contact as friends. She still calls me at work when she is down for someone to talk to. We don't hang out and do things together. I am old enough to be her mom. Her mom was only three years older than me when she passed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author OneLife2Live Posted January 25, 2015 Author Share Posted January 25, 2015 IMO, if you have other interaction-related keepsakes from that friend, like cards, letters, gifts, etc, find a small pouch for the beads and store them with the items from that friend. As an example, I have the rosary beads my father carried with him when in battle during WW2. He often prayed, he said, and those beads helped him during some pretty dark months in Italy during the war. Now, I'm not a practicing Catholic and could care less about rosary beads so I took them, along with the little leather pouch they were in, and stored them in a small box containing relevant memories of him, like his war medals, letters to home, newspaper clippings regarding him, etc, etc. Since your friend is still alive (my dad's long dead), she may ask you about the beads at some point and this suggestion can provide you with an honest answer which respects the value of her gift. It also respects that you are not interested in the religious aspects of the beads and provides a method of return if at some point that avenue is explored. Good luck and kudos to you for having such a good friend. Carhill, I'm sorry about the loss of your dad. I don't know how long he has been gone but it can't be easy to loose a parent. I'm blessed to still have mine alive, but I know one day they will go to be with the Lord and it will be hard. I lost my sister almost 2 years ago and I still grieve for my loss. She was only 48 so that has been hard loosing her so young. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Carhill, I'm sorry about the loss of your dad. I don't know how long he has been gone but it can't be easy to loose a parent. I'm blessed to still have mine alive, but I know one day they will go to be with the Lord and it will be hard. I lost my sister almost 2 years ago and I still grieve for my loss. She was only 48 so that has been hard loosing her so young. Thanks, he's been gone about 30 years now. I wouldn't have thought to consider such actions prior but watching those young naval ceremonial guardsman's reactions to setting to rest a fellow serviceman (Army) in his full military funeral caused me to re-think the value of such items and preserve them. One thought did come to mind regarding hanging them from a car mirror and that is, in some states (Cali is one), such can be considered a violation of the motor vehicle code. Will it cause a problem? Probably not! Unless you live in California! Cops need revenue here! Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 OK, folks, it looks like Robert cleaned up a bit of a threadjack so let's get things back onto the topic of preserving a friend's gift of rosary beads. The thread was edited and responses to deleted posts were redacted. Thanks! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 She obviously made these for you as part of her process of remembering her mother. For her it is probably part of the grieving process. I would keep them in my jewelry box and think of them as something she honored you with - obviously you must be special to her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author OneLife2Live Posted January 25, 2015 Author Share Posted January 25, 2015 OK, folks, it looks like Robert cleaned up a bit of a threadjack so let's get things back onto the topic of preserving a friend's gift of rosary beads. The thread was edited and responses to deleted posts were redacted. Thanks! I don't know what happened while I was away but thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author OneLife2Live Posted January 25, 2015 Author Share Posted January 25, 2015 Thanks, he's been gone about 30 years now. I wouldn't have thought to consider such actions prior but watching those young naval ceremonial guardsman's reactions to setting to rest a fellow serviceman (Army) in his full military funeral caused me to re-think the value of such items and preserve them. One thought did come to mind regarding hanging them from a car mirror and that is, in some states (Cali is one), such can be considered a violation of the motor vehicle code. Will it cause a problem? Probably not! Unless you live in California! Cops need revenue here! You're welcome. My H has several items from his dad's when he was in the Army also. He passed away over 20 years ago. I keep them in a antique trunk his mom gave to me years ago. I don't live in CA but thanks for the tip. Link to post Share on other sites
Author OneLife2Live Posted January 25, 2015 Author Share Posted January 25, 2015 She obviously made these for you as part of her process of remembering her mother. For her it is probably part of the grieving process. I would keep them in my jewelry box and think of them as something she honored you with - obviously you must be special to her. autumn, I do believe that is why she gave them as gifts. I am honored that she did. Link to post Share on other sites
pie2 Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 OP ~ Although I'm not Catholic, there are MANY beautiful and amazing things that have come from the Catholic church. In fact, the modern Christian church came out of the Catholic church . I love the old churches, the stained glass, the statues...they're all so beautiful. I also think the rosary beads are beautiful, and can be kept like any memento you might receive. The suggestions above are all great. I guess I'm a little confused as to why this was such a dilemma for you . Surely you've received gifts in the past that weren't 100% to your liking/lifestyle? What did you do in those cases? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 Hanging them from your rear view mirror is fine. It's a nice reminder that Jesus is close by. It may also help stop you from flipping off bad drivers...who knows? This is too funny. I doubt it would detour me, although I don't ever flip anyone off. In CA there was a period of a lot of road rage so figured it wasn't worth it...but I have thought it. OP ~ Although I'm not Catholic, there are MANY beautiful and amazing things that have come from the Catholic church. In fact, the modern Christian church came out of the Catholic church . I love the old churches, the stained glass, the statues...they're all so beautiful. I also think the rosary beads are beautiful, and can be kept like any memento you might receive. The suggestions above are all great. I guess I'm a little confused as to why this was such a dilemma for you . Surely you've received gifts in the past that weren't 100% to your liking/lifestyle? What did you do in those cases? I'm a bit confused also OP. Is it a personal thing or do you get the feeling God would trip about the beads? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author OneLife2Live Posted January 26, 2015 Author Share Posted January 26, 2015 OP ~ Although I'm not Catholic, there are MANY beautiful and amazing things that have come from the Catholic church. In fact, the modern Christian church came out of the Catholic church . I love the old churches, the stained glass, the statues...they're all so beautiful. I also think the rosary beads are beautiful, and can be kept like any memento you might receive. The suggestions above are all great. I guess I'm a little confused as to why this was such a dilemma for you . Surely you've received gifts in the past that weren't 100% to your liking/lifestyle? What did you do in those cases? I couldn't agree more. There are beautiful and amazing Catholic Churches. Actually, I haven't received many gifts that I don't like. It's not that I dislike the beads, I do like them. They are a lovely gift. I'm asking out of respect for the beads and what they stand for in the Catholic church. Since I am not Catholic, I don't want to disrespect them by displaying them in a manner that would offend the Catholic faith. I have respect for the faith, but I'm not Catholic. Does that make sense? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author OneLife2Live Posted January 26, 2015 Author Share Posted January 26, 2015 This is too funny. I doubt it would detour me, although I don't ever flip anyone off. In CA there was a period of a lot of road rage so figured it wasn't worth it...but I have thought it. I'm a bit confused also OP. Is it a personal thing or do you get the feeling God would trip about the beads? I don't think God would trip about the beads, lol! It's not that at all. It's the respect of the beads. I'm not Catholic, therefore I don't want to disrespect the beads by displaying them in a manner that is frowned upon by Catholics. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 I don't think God would trip about the beads, lol! It's not that at all. It's the respect of the beads. I'm not Catholic, therefore I don't want to disrespect the beads by displaying them in a manner that is frowned upon by Catholics. You are such a doll! Ok, I understand. You know, I was raised Catholic and don't ever remember it being considered disrespectful displaying them on the rear view mirror or any place in the home. In fact a lot of people do that here. I would say it's not disrespectful:) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 I don't think God would trip about the beads, lol! It's not that at all. It's the respect of the beads. I'm not Catholic, therefore I don't want to disrespect the beads by displaying them in a manner that is frowned upon by Catholics. I have a rosary my Nana gave me when I was little (we used to say the rosary together) and it hangs in my rear view mirror. I also have one that hangs in my bedroom. Every morning when I get in my car, I hold it and say a prayer to keep me safe. I also have a St. Christopher's medal in my car. I don't believe it is disrespectful for you to hang it wherever you want or deem comforting/helpful for you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
pie2 Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I couldn't agree more. There are beautiful and amazing Catholic Churches. It's not that I dislike the beads, I do like them. They are a lovely gift. I'm asking out of respect for the beads and what they stand for in the Catholic church. Since I am not Catholic, I don't want to disrespect them by displaying them in a manner that would offend the Catholic faith. I have respect for the faith, but I'm not Catholic. Does that make sense? Yes, that makes sense . I can't imagine that you would display them in an offensive manner though, OP. You seem like a very nice person, and I can't picture you doing something so extreme as to offend (like burning them, destroying them or hanging them from some offensive object, etc). I bet you're worrying over nothing! Actually, I haven't received many gifts that I don't like. That is very sweet . Link to post Share on other sites
TashaTudor Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 I've hung my rosaries on bed posts or kept them in my bedside table. Sometimes I've seen them at goodwill stores. You can donate them, if you want to. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Raised in a Catholic environment- I appreciate the OP for asking a question of how they are to be handled and preserved. Keep them in a rosary pouch or in a cloth. They are not a decorative item or a necklace. They need not be "ON PUBLIC Display", they are a personal and blessed item to be regarded. Priests are able to give you a better answer since they Bless the beads as apart of the gifting most times. My mother passed away two years ago, her beads are now seated beside her memory candle in a pouch. Link to post Share on other sites
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