sisa Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 (edited) I had a argue with MM for a little thing but bother me a lot. He said, he think his wife is much prettier than me few days ago. and today we discuss some new technology, and he said, oh XXX company has this technology which is very good company and my wife worked there before. I told him I feel it's not kind that he compare us, we are totally two different kind of women. I said I am suprised the told lie this. He said this is not important and he don't know why I argue this, the important is he love me. I mean why I need to know this, my feelings is he intentionally make me small. Is it because he feel I am too superior? Edited January 26, 2015 by sisa Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 It bothered you because it was a crappy thing to say to you. Whether she's more beautiful than you or not is a matter of opinion but, in his eyes, that's how he sees it. Either he said it as a subtle put-down, or he's just obtuse. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sisa Posted January 26, 2015 Author Share Posted January 26, 2015 yes，this talking bother me because it's his opinion. and this kind of talking make me start think so why he love a less pretty woman. And what make me more hurting is he say beauty is not so important for him. Really?! is someone here feel your spouse is much more good looking but you love your AP more? Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 I had a argue with MM for a little thing but bother me a lot. He said, he think his wife is much prettier than me few days ago. and today we discuss some new technology, and he said, oh XXX company has this technology which is very good company and my wife worked there before. I told him I feel it's not kind that he compare us, we are totally two different kind of women. I said I am suprised the told lie this. He said this is not important and he don't know why I argue this, the important is he love me. I mean why I need to know this, my feelings is he intentionally make me small. Is it because he feel I am too superior? This man is doing nothing for you. Please let him go and find someone who appreciates you. His wife is prettier and he's still cheating. He feels need to talk about her all the time so he needs to go right back to her. He will erode your confidence over time and make you feel worthless. You know your better than being his dirty little secret. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
gettingstronger Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 It makes you feel bad because 1. it was mean 2. You realize that his wife is human and probably did nothing to deserve what he is doing to her 3. He is a mean, spiteful control freak that likes to have it his way- say what he wants, does what he wants and if you don't like it, well... too bad Who cares who is better looking, its all a matter of opinion anyway- what matters is how he makes you feel and from your posts, it seems he makes you feel badly- Come on, get rid of this guy! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
EverySunset Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 (edited) He is saying things not just to control you, but control the way you think. He is starting to put you in the place he wants you. SECOND PLACE. Realize that a Muslim man will not legally divorce a legally married Muslim woman for a woman who describes herself as having no religion. To have a religious and legal wife? His family would not approve. Her family would not allow it, especially if that Muslim woman has children. It will not happen. Please find a man who will put you first. Edited January 26, 2015 by EverySunset 5 Link to post Share on other sites
GollumsNightmare Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 SISA!!! Stop torturing yourself! Why continue to ask questions on a forum of strangers? You KNOW the answer! This guy is bad news. He treats you badly. You want to make this work because you love him. This is not love. This is insanity. Leave him behind and find a real man that can truly love you. Life shouldn't hurt this much!! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 Maybe it's his way of reminding you that you are Not His Wife and even though he says he loves you, his actions and comments are proving otherwise. Have you considered this MM a d*ck and you should possible stop being the OW? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sisa Posted January 27, 2015 Author Share Posted January 27, 2015 you are all give rational advice and you are all right, but it's just very hard to leave him. Link to post Share on other sites
still_an_Angel Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 That comment is uncalled for. You should've asked him then why is he salivating after you if he thinks his W is prettier? He's lucky to have you! And why you give him so much power over you is beyond me, Sisa, you are young and single, YOU can easily walk away and never look back at this relationship that has given you pain and now self-doubts. How is this love? Link to post Share on other sites
CALOVELY Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Look at your pattern. No matter what he says or does you take it. Worse, you cling harder to him. You are having doubts now about this relationship and he senses that, so he hits you with the comment about your attractiveness knowing you will try harder to seek his approval. It is his way of controlling you, tearing down your self esteem and worth making you think he is the only man who would want you. Wake up! This man is evil. He is a bastard and you need to get angry very, very soon for your own good. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Broom Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 He is destroying your self-esteem to keep him closer to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
EverySunset Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 you are all give rational advice and you are all right, but it's just very hard to leave him. This is a no win situation Sisa. If you accept this arrangement on any level you are making it very clear you do not respect yourself enough to be placed FIRST. And if you don't respect yourself, why would he respect you? The only person who can do right by you is YOU. Be that person you deserve, and respect yourself. You are independent and capable. Show him and everyone you won't be valued for less. Who cares what he does or says. Leave. I know it's hard. But somewhere out there is a man who would love you, and think you're the prettiest girl in the world. Open your heart and let that new man find you! Link to post Share on other sites
Jesuischarlie Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 He is destroying your self-esteem to keep him closer to you. THIS it is not even true, he is just keeping you in your place 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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