I love my wife but have no sexual desire towards her

[MJJean]

Thanks all for the responses and critics. I would like to make some points clear in order to give you a full vision of the story.

 

Since I met my wife and knew she has a low self esteem I always supported her and helped her in dealing with that. I always complemented her on all her physical and personality aspects. She always refused to hear me telling her that she is beautiful and sexy. I also understand that she refused to hear that because of how she feels and tried to be careful with everything I said...etc Moreover, I always took care of my physical and made sure I stay fit for myself first and for my partner.

 

I understand you've tried to tell your wife that she is attractive, etc. But the fact is that actions speak louder than words. You cheated on her. That effectively negated every nice thing you've said because that action goes directly against your verbal statements.

 

Your affair probably did a significant amount of damage to her already low self-esteem and confidence.

[oldshirt]

No-one needs to be sentenced forever to a sexless marriage.

The honorable thing to do there is just say "sorry this isn't working, we need to split up" and then get a divorce.

NOT procure a mistress and proceed to cheat behind his wife's back.

 

He's actually cheating to her front now.

 

 

I agree it's a lost cause and he should just move on, even if it's without the OW.

[whichwayisup]

Well having an affair and continuing it behind your wife's back certainly isn't making her self esteem any better.

 

You have two options, well three actually. Have an open marriage so she can 'date' others as well or FIX your marriage and the both of you try your best to reconnect and work together to make it work or divorce.

 

Right now you're having your cake and eating it too and that's not what marriage and commitment is all about. You having someone on the side 'for sex' and then coming home and having a caring and loving wife look after you. It's extremely selfish and also unfair to not only your wife but to the OW. That OW probably has feelings for you and is hoping soon you'll leave and divorce your wife. What kind of things (future faking) have you told your OW? That "someday" you two will be together? Are you giving her false hope and broken promises?

[autumnnight]

Well having an affair and continuing it behind your wife's back certainly isn't making her self esteem any better.

 

You have two options, well three actually. Have an open marriage so she can 'date' others as well or FIX your marriage and the both of you try your best to reconnect and work together to make it work or divorce.

 

Right now you're having your cake and eating it too and that's not what marriage and commitment is all about. You having someone on the side 'for sex' and then coming home and having a caring and loving wife look after you. It's extremely selfish and also unfair to not only your wife but to the OW. That OW probably has feelings for you and is hoping soon you'll leave and divorce your wife. What kind of things (future faking) have you told your OW? That "someday" you two will be together? Are you giving her false hope and broken promises?

 

I agree. Then again, I guess it's neither Here nor there what I think about this spectre of a marriage. I predict some bad karma coming for the OP, though he may consider himself Mr. Lucky now.

[jbrent890]

You have cheated on your wife, plain and simple. That is the problem. If you were a WW, you'd have been reamed six ways from Sunday by now, which I find sadly amusingly disturbing.

 

Is sex important in marriage? Of course. But THE BIG ISSUE here is the fact that you cheated, and there is no excuse for cheating.

 

I am flabbergasted at the hypocrisy.

 

No I feel the exact same about this guy as I do a WW. They are all Waywards to me. OP, what you did was wrong and what you are currently doing is wrong. You are finding out first hand that having an affair did not solve the issues in your marriage, but enhanced them. It's sad to say, but you need to end the marriage. I think it is guilt that has kept you from doing thus far. You don't want to leave as the villain.