Author somedude81 Posted January 30, 2015 Author Share Posted January 30, 2015 Off-topic but I really don't want to make another thread. Didn't get the job That's the second entry level IT job that I've interviewed for. God trying to get a job feels exactly like trying to get a date. I hate both processes. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Bummer about the job. Keep moving forward. It normally takes time to find a job. Perseverance and resilience are a must. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
rester Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Chin up, somedude. Two interviews in just a couple weeks is already ahead of the curve. I have a friend that was unemployed for over a year. He sent out over 600 resumes, and he had a damn good resume. Finding a job is a full time job in itself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Off-topic but I really don't want to make another thread. Didn't get the job That's the second entry level IT job that I've interviewed for. God trying to get a job feels exactly like trying to get a date. I hate both processes. psst. Getting a job, not just flipping burgers, is harder. Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted January 30, 2015 Author Share Posted January 30, 2015 psst. Getting a job, not just flipping burgers, is harder. Hah, I sure as hell hope not. My dating record is pretty bad. If it was the same for getting a job I wouldn't work for the next 10 years. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Off-topic but I really don't want to make another thread. Didn't get the job That's the second entry level IT job that I've interviewed for. God trying to get a job feels exactly like trying to get a date. I hate both processes. Ah, 2 job rejections is very common - in fact, it's on the low side. Just gotta keep trying. As a side note, this is why expecting to get $90k 4 years after starting is not realistic for most people unless they already have strong roots in the field before even graduating (side jobs/projects, networking, etc). The few years after graduation for lots of IT/CS folks typically involves internships and entry-level or fresh grad positions, and some switching around between the subfields either to find your niche or because you can't get anything else. Only when you start qualifying for specialized 'junior' positions (which typically require 1-3 years' experience doing the former), does your experience really start counting towards senior positions that pay $90k. Realistically I've been told it takes about 8 years or so for a fresh grad with no prior experience. Of course, all of this may vary (since I'm in CSSE and not "IT") but all I'm saying is, don't be too idealistic, but don't get yourself down because you're not getting the job you want either. Some struggle at the beginning is normal for all of us. It may come down to you needing to take an internship to get your foot in the door. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Women are attracted to men who demonstrate drive, ambition, capability, strength, etc. If you don't demonstrate it, women will not look at you as that kind of man. Getting a job is an important achievement, but only the very beginning of career growth. Some grow, some don't. Those who have drive grow in their careers. Yes they are, but there are a lot of guys that do okay with gfs who don't move mountains. Most guys don't move mountains to get a gf. I got a distinction average in my degree and and not a bad job in a career profession but it didn't count for much in terms of getting women in their 20s excited over me. Going to the gym and bulking up, that's what did it much more. Yeh I worked really hard in the gym as a skinny hard gainer, so from that aspect I did, but I had a number of friends who never went to the gym who did really well. Some were lucky and had good looks or were well built without ever having to step into a gym and some extroverts and had the gift of the gab...but they did not have to work hard to get women, let alone move mountains. Lots lots of people who just have 9-5 jobs as opposed to careers and like to chill out when they get home with a drink and enjoy watching sports as opposed to playing have multiple bfs/gfs, and will tell you where to go if you tell them their achievement resume was not good enough to deserve a gf/bf. Do the women on here who have a hard time finding the right guy that sticks around, get grilled over 'what do you have to offer a guy that makes you special & deserving' or 'are you out there moving mountains to inspire a guy'. They'd say WTF to that. If all SD wants to date is an easy going somewhat cute, slightly nerdy introverted girl who was say a florist or admin clerk or nurse or personal assistant, and has a small circle of fronds but doesn't go out partying much, and cant afford to travel overseas to exotic locals, and has one hobby (say scrap booking) and lives in an average apt in the burbs, he shouldn't have to move mountains to win her over & deserve her. Yes he has to get his life in order, and try work on building a more fun & outgoing personality to expand his options. He has to look at all aspects of his life that could be improved to help make up for his lack of charisma/masculinity/experience/confidence, but some here are reading way to much in that he is not living an exciting sociable go-getter life that he is not worthy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
anna121 Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Without knowing my age, or how long I've been in college, how can anybody I meet say that I'm not driven or that I don't have any goals? Especially if they knew that I just graduated college and got a new job? Once I get my job, nobody in their right mind is going to say that I don't have any ambition. Which of course means that no sane woman would say that I'm not "self-driven enough" or that I would be a weak partner who needs support. 1. Do you intend to lie about your age, or how long you've been in college? Unless that's the case, people will be free to draw their own conclusions. 2. You can't. seriously. think. that "ambition" is demonstrated by simply having "a job". I mean, that is just.....WOW. Wake-up call - I think earlier on this thread you pooh-pooh'ed the idea that you had to make 100K to get a girl. No you don't have to make that much to get ANY girl. But, at your age, I'm sorry but 100K is not that out of bounds. My husband was making more than that at your age. To me, THAT is an indicator (albeit not the only one) of "ambition". 3. FTR. There are lots of sane women on this thread. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted January 30, 2015 Author Share Posted January 30, 2015 Yes they are, but there are a lot of guys that do okay with gfs who don't move mountains. Most guys don't move mountains to get a gf. I got a distinction average in my degree and and not a bad job in a career profession but it didn't count for much in terms of getting women in their 20s excited over me. Going to the gym and bulking up, that's what did it much more. Yeh I worked really hard in the gym as a skinny hard gainer, so from that aspect I did, but I had a number of friends who never went to the gym who did really well. Some were lucky and had good looks or were well built without ever having to step into a gym and some extroverts and had the gift of the gab...but they did not have to work hard to get women, let alone move mountains. Lots lots of people who just have 9-5 jobs as opposed to careers and like to chill out when they get home with a drink and enjoy watching sports as opposed to playing have multiple bfs/gfs, and will tell you where to go if you tell them their achievement resume was not good enough to deserve a gf/bf. Do the women on here who have a hard time finding the right guy that sticks around, get grilled over 'what do you have to offer a guy that makes you special & deserving' or 'are you out there moving mountains to inspire a guy'. They'd say WTF to that. If all SD wants to date is an easy going somewhat cute, slightly nerdy introverted girl who was say a florist or admin clerk or nurse or personal assistant, and has a small circle of fronds but doesn't go out partying much, and cant afford to travel overseas to exotic locals, and has one hobby (say scrap booking) and lives in an average apt in the burbs, he shouldn't have to move mountains to win her over & deserve her. Yes he has to get his life in order, and try work on building a more fun & outgoing personality to expand his options. He has to look at all aspects of his life that could be improved to help make up for his lack of charisma/masculinity/experience/confidence, but some here are reading way to much in that he is not living an exciting sociable go-getter life that he is not worthy. Thank God for logic! Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Off-topic but I really don't want to make another thread. Didn't get the job That's the second entry level IT job that I've interviewed for. God trying to get a job feels exactly like trying to get a date. I hate both processes. Not quite. Getting a job will fill your bank account, getting a woman will lighten it. I kid! 7 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Thank God for logic! It's all relative. You, personally, need to develop in this way to be more attractive to women. What is easy networking and socializing for others may feel like "moving mountajns" to you. You don't need to transform into an overachiever, but you need to try to be as motivated and social as the average dude. You may be realizing now why so many were pushing you to seek internships and network professionally as a student. Its an advantage in the job search. You resist these things while others accept it as paying dues. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted January 30, 2015 Author Share Posted January 30, 2015 It's all relative. You, personally, need to develop in this way to be more attractive to women. What is easy networking and socializing for others may feel like "moving mountajns" to you. You don't need to transform into an overachiever, but you need to try to be as motivated and social as the average dude. Yet that's exactly what people are saying that I have to do. I'm not the only one who is reading that the same way. You may be realizing now why so many were pushing you to seek internships and network professionally as a student. Its an advantage in the job search. You resist these things while others accept it as paying dues. I was too busy doing math. Yes I wish I was doing those things, especially getting internships or volunteering because I really need the experience, but I simply did not have the time and energy. Link to post Share on other sites
CALOVELY Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Thank God for logic! You really do only pay attention to what you want to hear. Stay on the path you are on now and see where you are 10 years from now. Hopefully LS will still be around so you can tell a whole new group of people how you should have listened to the advice given. Best of luck to you, I am out. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 But I do find it ironic that once women find that man, then THEY themselves proceed to sit on their arse at home or in swanky cafes living off their husband's money. It's the ironies of ironies. You want an ambitious person so you don't have to do jack. That is very insulting and for the most part totally wrong, I think ambitious people like other ambitious people!! if you want to talk about gender stereotypes, yes, many times a woman will be attracted to a man who seems like a strong leader and who can take care of stuff. Not so she can sit on her butt though, but because those are GOOD QUALITIES!! that a lot of us admire in men! And in fathers for our children. Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Yes they are, but there are a lot of guys that do okay with gfs who don't move mountains. Most guys don't move mountains to get a gf. I got a distinction average in my degree and and not a bad job in a career profession but it didn't count for much in terms of getting women in their 20s excited over me. Going to the gym and bulking up, that's what did it much more. Yeh I worked really hard in the gym as a skinny hard gainer, so from that aspect I did, but I had a number of friends who never went to the gym who did really well. Some were lucky and had good looks or were well built without ever having to step into a gym and some extroverts and had the gift of the gab...but they did not have to work hard to get women, let alone move mountains. Lots lots of people who just have 9-5 jobs as opposed to careers and like to chill out when they get home with a drink and enjoy watching sports as opposed to playing have multiple bfs/gfs, and will tell you where to go if you tell them their achievement resume was not good enough to deserve a gf/bf. Do the women on here who have a hard time finding the right guy that sticks around, get grilled over 'what do you have to offer a guy that makes you special & deserving' or 'are you out there moving mountains to inspire a guy'. They'd say WTF to that. If all SD wants to date is an easy going somewhat cute, slightly nerdy introverted girl who was say a florist or admin clerk or nurse or personal assistant, and has a small circle of fronds but doesn't go out partying much, and cant afford to travel overseas to exotic locals, and has one hobby (say scrap booking) and lives in an average apt in the burbs, he shouldn't have to move mountains to win her over & deserve her. Yes he has to get his life in order, and try work on building a more fun & outgoing personality to expand his options. He has to look at all aspects of his life that could be improved to help make up for his lack of charisma/masculinity/experience/confidence, but some here are reading way to much in that he is not living an exciting sociable go-getter life that he is not worthy. Well, since you asked....Women on ls get told things they dont want to hear, too. Ive been told some of the same things as sd tbh. Link to post Share on other sites
Under The Radar Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 SD, I saw recently that you passed business calculus and that accomplishment will yield a college diploma in Information Technology ...... I was sincerely happy to see that success ...... you should be proud. Like you, I am a late bloomer ...... important lessons and achievements many of my peers experienced early in life did not become a reality for me until my 30's. I remember being lonely, misunderstood, and depressed ...... at times I was overwhelmed by a profound sense of learned helplessness. Having a resource such as LS would have been invaluable to me during those difficult years. I find it incredibly admirable how much support, compassion, and advice people receive on this forum ...... including that which is dispensed to you. I truly believe that the best is yet to come in your life ...... and I do want that for you I am thankful for a great many things in helping me make it this far in life. I was lucky to always have people ...... even if it was just one individual ...... to help pick me up when I had fallen or lost faith. Despite the difficult challenges and pitfalls you have endured in life I still think you have things to be thankful for. I would be appreciative if you could share just a couple of things YOU are grateful for. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Off-topic but I really don't want to make another thread. Didn't get the job That's the second entry level IT job that I've interviewed for. God trying to get a job feels exactly like trying to get a date. I hate both processes. I do hope that you're keeping up your search while waiting to hear from those you interviewed with. And I hope you have a back up plan for your finances. It's a tough market, my husband is going into month 17 of unemployment. Good luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DukeNukem47 Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 I don't see why SD getting a job matters in dating. I currently have a successful career. It hasn't done anything for me in terms of dating. If anything, I do way worse with women than when I was younger and living in my parent's basement. Dating is simply all about looks and how much fun the guy is. My prediction is that SD won't do any better even if he gets a job. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted January 30, 2015 Author Share Posted January 30, 2015 SD, I saw recently that you passed business calculus and that accomplishment will yield a college diploma in Information Technology ...... I was sincerely happy to see that success ...... you should be proud. Like you, I am a late bloomer ...... important lessons and achievements many of my peers experienced early in life did not become a reality for me until my 30's. I remember being lonely, misunderstood, and depressed ...... at times I was overwhelmed by a profound sense of learned helplessness. Having a resource such as LS would have been invaluable to me during those difficult years. I find it incredibly admirable how much support, compassion, and advice people receive on this forum ...... including that which is dispensed to you. I truly believe that the best is yet to come in your life ...... and I do want that for you I am thankful for a great many things in helping me make it this far in life. I was lucky to always have people ...... even if it was just one individual ...... to help pick me up when I had fallen or lost faith. Despite the difficult challenges and pitfalls you have endured in life I still think you have things to be thankful for. I would be appreciative if you could share just a couple of things YOU are grateful for. Thanks for the kind words Under.The.Radar. Thinks I'm grateful for? Frankly, very little. All I can do is look at how my life is now and what has happened to me. I had to kick and scream to get to finally get my college degree. I was in limbo for a month because I didn't know if I was going to graduate or not. I was actually applying to Jr. Colleges in case I had to retake calculus. Because of that and other general issues with school, I don't feel good at all about graduating. My feeling about graduation is, "About fuc*king time." Since I didn't get this job it means that I'm going to have to give notice to move out of my apartment tomorrow. Hopefully I can get a job next month and start working or I'm moving in with my mom. It's much better than being homeless and it will only be short-term, but my God it feels like failure. The girl that I have a huge crush on is now completely avoiding me which is just adding to my feeling of failure and making me feel worthless. Honestly, there is no joy in my life right now. I just feel numb, waiting till things get better. What I feel I need to be happy is so simple, a decent job and a girlfriend, and yet it feels like I'm asking for a billion dollars. Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 SD you have many many things to be thankful for. For some reason, you don't see it. I ued to have a notebook by my bed and every night I wrote one thing. I was thankful for. Sometimes it was just the fact I was able to make it through the day. It did a world of difference. You could be thankful you are healthy. You can be thankful you have a place to go in this time of need. Hell you can even be thankful you don't like in an area where -20 C is normal temperature at this time of year! We've been telling you for months that your attitude is getting in the way of a lot. Kicking and screaming got you your degree but I can promise it will not get you a job or a girlfriend. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Do you want a job? Or is it purely a means to getting a girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Allow me to quote myself, then. I said men do it too. It's in there. See it? You quoted it. Good. I can't fathom what you think is the good of it here. SD you have a lot to be thankful for, if you really think about it. It's perspective. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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