suew66 Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 A former co-worker found me on a social media sight recently. I had always told him if he ever found himself divorced to look me up so I was excited when i got a message from him. He is in the middle of a divorce now but he has a almost two year old with a woman. He spends the weekends at her house taking care of the child and cleaning her house and doing all the laundry. He's not even sure they are a couple, but he spends the weekends at her house He is very confused and hurting right now and says all he wants is sex and I am very ok with this. Both of these women have mentally abused him over the last few years. I have been willing to listen as we talk a lot. We could always talk about anything and became very close for a while previously. The problem is after we have sex there isn't a lot of attention I guess you would say. I have been in this situation before where it is just for sex and have never felt so bad afterwards. He is a wonderful person who will be great for someone one day. Is it wrong to want some affection afterwards? How can I help? Link to post Share on other sites
GoldieLox Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 He is very confused and hurting right now and says all he wants is sex and I am very ok with this. Okay... I have been in this situation before where it is just for sex and have never felt so bad afterwards Is it wrong to want some affection afterwards? How can I help?Read what you just wrote above. Obviously you are NOT okay with "just sex". Yes, sometimes the act of sex involves cuddling afterwards. Does this man just get up and leave afterwards? It's possibly because there's no emotional connection there. Men separate sex and emotions beautifully. If you mean you just want a FWB-type thing and not a relationship with him, that's one thing. But I strongly suggest you do a self-evaluation on what you're looking for here. As for him, he sounds a bit broken and like he doesn't know what he wants. I personally don't think it's your job to fix him. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Broom Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 He's obviously getting just what he wants from you in this current meta. If he wanted more, he would request more or do more. Right now, there is a disconnect. You are expecting a little extra affection and he is just getting his. I would try to verify that this guy is even about to D or even if his marriage is in trouble at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author suew66 Posted January 27, 2015 Author Share Posted January 27, 2015 I look at a sexual relationship the same as FWB. So i dont think it is wrong to expect a little affection. Im not saying we have to stay in bed and snuggle forever but more than what I am getting. As for his D, yes it is real, I have seen the papers and he has talked to his attorney in front of me. I dont really want to fix him, I want to be a good friend and FWB, so that we both get our needs met Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 He is using you. Plain and simple. I mean, why would he contact you BEFORE he actually is officially divorced? He isn't interested in any emotional connection, he isn't going to cuddle you and make you feel special. It's casual sex, that's it. Seems you're attached and wanting more than he's willing to offer. Link to post Share on other sites
still_an_Angel Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 At this stage he is not ready for a relationship, he has told you this by saying he only wants sex. Its your call if you want to be around for him when this is all that he wants from you. There is no guarantee that this will turn out into a real relationship later on. If you're wanting more from him, maybe now is not the right time, he can't give you that as yet. Link to post Share on other sites
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