Online dating: Being a 5ft 8 man is repulsive to women.

[guest569]

What??

 

5'8 is tall.. not sure why women would send comments about your height.

 

I've had men take the effort to write and tell me they think I am ugly, or that I have nice 'blowjob' lips, random sexual messages and many other things that I have pushed out of my memory! People can be creeps.

 

Don't be put off by that, you get all sorts of idiots on there. But there are a lot of nice ones too. Unmatch and forget all about them.

[ComingInHot]

You're tall compared to me

 

And if you are all those things that you have written, allow your friends to 'drag you away' for the weekend to meet women face to face. You are sure to meet real people in real life who will be perfect for the real You!

CiH*

[Phoe]

5'8 isn't short. I'm 5'8!

 

I've dated more men that are shorter than me than men who are taller than me. Not a problem.

[evanescentworld]

I'm in the UK.

 

Consider emigrating....?

[preraph]

You need to get off those sites where it's a bunch of kids just looking to insult people. I guarantee you 5'8" is not considered short. Most women are under that height and only care (if at all) if someone is a bit taller. Be sure there's not something else you're putting out there that just makes people want to take you down a notch though. If you're saying anything to put people on the defensive in your profile or your photo looks like you think you're hot stuff, that kind of thing is all immature people just looking for entertainment need to take a shot at you. Please do not let this erode your self-confidence. You're tall enough for most women except the very most picky women.

[PinkElephants]

Online dating is a soul sucking self-esteem vacuum. It's like shopping and people reject each other and move on just like they would a sweater on a website. I understand the fear you have due to your experience with OLD but you have to understand that it's not real life. A woman on the street can't swipe her finger and banish you; it requires effort and human interaction.

 

Unfortunately, clubbing is about as bad as OLD. People there are alcohol fueled shoppers who are searching for their next one night stand, next free drink, etc.

 

So, what are you shopping for? Identify that first and then go to an appropriate venue. Your height isn't limiting you as much as you're limiting yourself by looking in the wrong places. Don't shake a whore tree and expect an angel to fall out and don't swipe on tinder and expect a classy lady to pop out.

 

Also, my boyfriend is 5'8". The last two men to pursue me before him were 6' and 6'4". I want to be with him because he's an amazing person and his height is actually a refreshing change. I'm 5'2" and I had to stand on a dang coffee table to kiss Mr. 6'4"

[RuKiddingme]

Online dating is a soul sucking self-esteem vacuum. It's like shopping and people reject each other and move on just like they would a sweater on a website. I understand the fear you have due to your experience with OLD but you have to understand that it's not real life. A woman on the street can't swipe her finger and banish you; it requires effort and human interaction.

 

Unfortunately, clubbing is about as bad as OLD. People there are alcohol fueled shoppers who are searching for their next one night stand, next free drink, etc.

 

So, what are you shopping for? Identify that first and then go to an appropriate venue. Your height isn't limiting you as much as you're limiting yourself by looking in the wrong places. Don't shake a whore tree and expect an angel to fall out and don't swipe on tinder and expect a classy lady to pop out.

 

Also, my boyfriend is 5'8". The last two men to pursue me before him were 6' and 6'4". I want to be with him because he's an amazing person and his height is actually a refreshing change. I'm 5'2" and I had to stand on a dang coffee table to kiss Mr. 6'4"

 

I could honestly write a book complaining about OLD. I've come to the conclusion that 95% of the women I've come across are either attention whoring or just plain nuts. You can't tell me if you're seriously good looking with a descriptive profile that you have any other reason to be on a site for as long as I have seen some. It has had a negative effect on me as well, making me believe that I have little worth. Its garbage. I get it has worked for some but the bad outweigh the good on a colossal ratio. I gave up after the last girl I met, who was all about taking things slow, hardly communicated, constantly told me she isn't special and couldn't talk on the phone for more than 5 minutes. After I gave up, she's with someone else a week later with her new guys face touching hers in her FB pic and bragging about how awesome things are. So much for taking things slow lol. What a joke. If not that, its someone who is so damaged from their ex, they can't talk about anything else. If it isn't that, its a narcissist, or someone who tells you they want to see you and then they are back online the same night. Whatever.

[guest569]

Its so easy to just block or unmatch these people. They're weirdos, move on!

[Els]

You're learning the wrong lesson from this. How about: POF and Tinder are not the way to go if you want a genuine relationship?

[Toodaloo]

Which is why you should do exactly as Toodaloo said. Do exactly what what she/he said to the letter. Start today and do it all day every day untill it is no longer triggering anxiety.

 

You will feel very uncomfortable and out of your box at first, but in a matter of sprays or weeks that fear and anxiety will diminish.

 

Frankly, with that level of anxiety about simple eye contact, it would not matter if you were 6'2". You have to be able to make eye contact and conversation with a flesh and blood human in the real world in order to develop a relationship with someone.

 

If your interpersonal skills are really that bad, some professional therapy may be your best option but I will warn you, one of their first steps will be getting you to make and maintain eye contact.

 

If the thought of eye contact and interaction is that threatening, you may need to be tested for an actual disorder like Asperger's or something.

 

Exactly as Old Shirt says.

 

How are you doing today? How many women have you managed to smile at? Practice does make perfect.

 

At the moment start small. So your goal is just to smile at women. Thats it. Thats all. You are not entering into conversation or trying to get dates. You are just smiling.

 

I think you are the sort of chap that would do very well in real life rather than on line if I am honest. So I think its better to get your confidence up in real life rather than try to encourage you to contact women who are not terribly great...

 

Your height is absolutely fine and those women are a bit freaky and/ or nasty for being the way they were.

 

I am going to keep coming back to check on you.

[Moy]

Exactly as Old Shirt says.

 

How are you doing today? How many women have you managed to smile at? Practice does make perfect.

 

At the moment start small. So your goal is just to smile at women. Thats it. Thats all. You are not entering into conversation or trying to get dates. You are just smiling.

 

I think you are the sort of chap that would do very well in real life rather than on line if I am honest. So I think its better to get your confidence up in real life rather than try to encourage you to contact women who are not terribly great...

 

Your height is absolutely fine and those women are a bit freaky and/ or nasty for being the way they were.

 

I am going to keep coming back to check on you.

 

None. I went to smile and say 'have a nice day' to the woman on the front desk at the gym earlier, but she inadvertently blanked me as something else caught her eye.

 

I didn't smile at any women in the gym as I didn't want to appear creepy.

[evanescentworld]

'Inadvertently blanked' you...?! You can't 'inadvertently blank' people!

 

She was busy and had multiple things to do. She didn't even blank you.

If it was inadvertent, that wasn't even her intention.

 

You either have to WANT to blank people, or you are distracted - because you're a busy person!

 

God, you read negativity into every single encounter!

 

Ever heard of Eeyore...?

[Moy]

'Inadvertently blanked' you...?! You can't 'inadvertently blank' people!

 

She was busy and had multiple things to do. She didn't even blank you.

If it was inadvertent, that wasn't even her intention.

 

You either have to WANT to blank people, or you are distracted - because you're a busy person!

 

God, you read negativity into every single encounter!

 

Ever heard of Eeyore...?

 

I should have chosen my words more carefully. She got sidetracked is what I should have said. You're not going to be deliberately rude to customers, are you?

[evanescentworld]

Exactly.

But whether you should have chosen your words more carefully or not, is not the issue.

The issue is that your words were your first impression.

And that's what counts, because that's what reveals your psychological agenda.

 

Let me give some advice:

 

When you have a thought about women run through your head, seemingly unchecked, and it's laden with negative connotations -hold that thought.

 

Hold it up to scrutiny.

Examine it FOR TRUTH.

 

Ask yourself: "Is this actual fact, or what I keep telling myself?"

I suspect you'll find your head is full of lies based on insecurity, poor self-esteem and a lack of self-worth.

 

Our heads are full of lies we tell ourselves, and that's where it all begins.

 

Challenge your mind-set.

because right now, you are not your best friend.

And you should be.

[Toodaloo]

None. I went to smile and say 'have a nice day' to the woman on the front desk at the gym earlier, but she inadvertently blanked me as something else caught her eye.

 

I didn't smile at any women in the gym as I didn't want to appear creepy.

 

Right - fact here for you. You are only going to appear creepy if you stare and smile... followed by drooling and wrinkling your nose and muttering words like "lunch" under your breath...

 

Look at their faces, smile, then turn away and carry on as you were.

 

Try again and keep trying until it become more natural!

 

Remember it doesn't matter if you look like a fool to start off with, it doesn't matter what these women think at the moment. All that matters is that you are practising smiling. Thats it. Thats all. Try thinking of a silly joke one of the kids/ niece/ nephew told you or a place you would like to go and visit, something that makes you happy.

 

We are not even going to try speaking yet just a smile. Keep going.

[elaine567]

I agree with Toodaloo. Smiling is good.

Also if you drive a lot, practice smiling at other drivers and be a nice courteous driver, allow them right of way, don't block and refuse to get angry.

It is amazing how many smiles and waves you will get back in return.

[alphamale]

I've been on POF for two years now

first, get off POF, it's worthless. You get what you pay for and in this case it is nothing.

 

additionally, the average man in 5 foot 9 inches so you do the math

[Toodaloo]

first, get off POF, it's worthless. You get what you pay for and in this case it is nothing.

 

additionally, the average man in 5 foot 9 inches in the USA so you do the math

 

In the UK its around 5ft 7 I think?

 

PoF will take away any self confidence you had though Moy - any online dating site will... its sounds easy when you look at it but its not.

[Moy]

It's very windy this morning. Two women (a bit older than me) were joking about the weather in front of me in the queue. I just made a quip about chasing your money down the street so hold it tightly and got a jokingly 'I know, right?' kind of response.

 

Lame, but better than nothing I guess. I would have said the same if it had have been men.

[Josmatjes]

I've been on POF for two years now and I've recently joined Tinder.

 

In that time I've had a grand total of zero dates and a s*** ton of remarks about my height. Even this morning I had somebody on Tinder mock my height and unmatch me immediately.

 

I'm sick of it, it makes me feel useless about myself. I'm caring, loving, loyal, humourous, hardworking, got my own house etc, I work out and have 6 pack abs in my 40s, yet the mere mention of 5ft 8 renders me undateable.

 

Is there ANY way out of this?

 

That's just nuts! Your height is fine!

You could try harmony.com.... I know someone who went on a few dates on that site and now they are engaged. You have to be picky with your sites.

Don't let anyone make you feel bad about who you are....btw my cousin is 5ft5 and he has no problem at all..... Also stop telling people your height, it shouldn't matter!!

[No Limit]

You really shouldn't worry about your height. I'm only 5'3 (although I guess it's different with women...).

 

The mocking-part is still kind of shocking to be honest. Amazing that people have so little respect but would pee themselves if you suddenly stood in front of them, despite 'tiny size'.

 

On the other hand, if you want to turn the tables, 95% of women are crazy about their weight. Make a sneering remark on her body fat percentage and she'll probably delete Tinder from her phone.

[Moy]

You really shouldn't worry about your height. I'm only 5'3 (although I guess it's different with women...).

 

The mocking-part is still kind of shocking to be honest. Amazing that people have so little respect but would pee themselves if you suddenly stood in front of them, despite 'tiny size'.

 

On the other hand, if you want to turn the tables, 95% of women are crazy about their weight. Make a sneering remark on her body fat percentage and she'll probably delete Tinder from her phone.

 

I HAVE used the reply 'Yes, you are taller than me in heels but you're also fatter than me in your bare feet.' in retaliation before now!

[Toodaloo]

It's very windy this morning. Two women (a bit older than me) were joking about the weather in front of me in the queue. I just made a quip about chasing your money down the street so hold it tightly and got a jokingly 'I know, right?' kind of response.

 

Lame, but better than nothing I guess. I would have said the same if it had have been men.

 

Its a start Moy and not as lame as you think! Keep practicing until it becomes natural to talk to women.

[Moy]

Its a start Moy and not as lame as you think! Keep practicing until it becomes natural to talk to women.

 

Thanks!

[DukeNukem47]

Height is the most important factor to women, both online and in real life. Women will never tell you this though because they want to be politically correct.

 

If height wasn't the most important factor, you would see more couples where the woman is taller than the man.

 

Can you be short and still do reasonably well with women? Sure. I'm shorter than you and I do okay. But you must first realize and accept the fact that you have the biggest disadvantage possible for a man in dating (and business) in the western world. It's a constant uphill battle and that is very difficult to overcome.