Online dating: Being a 5ft 8 man is repulsive to women.

[Moy]

Were you by yourself? If so try going out with a friends

 

With friends. Busy Saturday night in town.

[Mangina]

So I went out......and lasted about half an hour before having to come home at the onset of a panic attack. The bar was full of beautiful looking women and my immediate thought was: "Oh no! They're all gorgeous, they will hate somebody like me for sure."

 

It soon snowballed, so home I came. Disgusted with myself.

 

Just enjoy the night with your friends, don't leave because the girls that you didn't even talk to might not fancy you.

[Moy]

Just enjoy the night with your friends, don't leave because the girls that you didn't even talk to might not fancy you.

 

 

Do you not think I tried? Google panic attack. Are you scared of spiders? Imagine being trapped in an elevator with dozens of tarantulas.

 

It's deeper than that, it's not about them 'not fancying me' - it's about being gripped with fear that they are going to be hateful towards me like they have been online for the past two years. I'm too repulsive to even be in the same building as them.

[Noproblem]

So I went out......and lasted about half an hour before having to come home at the onset of a panic attack. The bar was full of beautiful looking women and my immediate thought was: "Oh no! They're all gorgeous, they will hate somebody like me for sure."

 

It soon snowballed, so home I came. Disgusted with myself.

 

I just want to say

 

that women don't hate guys for their look

 

they hate their behaviors and attitudes

 

I mean if you were the ugliest man but were respectful and fun

I would admire you, talk to you for a while even though I might not date you!

 

but if you were really handsome and still looked some creepy looks and acted like a crazy man

 

I won't bother to look at you

 

So these thoughts are only in your mind!

 

 

Go out, speak with girls in a relax way, some of them will like you and date you!

[Mangina]

Do you not think I tried? Google panic attack. Are you scared of spiders? Imagine being trapped in an elevator with dozens of tarantulas.

 

It's deeper than that, it's not about them 'not fancying me' - it's about being gripped with fear that they are going to be hateful towards me like they have been online for the past two years. I'm too repulsive to even be in the same building as them.

 

I see. Well hey I am ugly I would love to look like you. I have no luck with girls, I don't the jawline, hair or muscle you have but they still talk to me even though they are not attracted to me. Even the girls who ignore me although it makes me feel bad are not me are not mean to me.

 

I think you may have a psychological problem caused by girls online.

[Mangina]

I just want to say

 

that women don't hate guys for their look

 

they hate their behaviors and attitudes

 

I mean if you were the ugliest man but were respectful and fun

I would admire you, talk to you for a while even though I might not date you!

 

but if you were really handsome and still looked some creepy looks and acted like a crazy man

 

I won't bother to look at you

 

So these thoughts are only in your mind!

 

 

Go out, speak with girls in a relax way, some of them will like you and date you!

Moy here is the truth. It is good and bad. Good because they will talk and be nice to you. Bad because a lot of them won't date you.

 

No problem I really appreciate your honesty

[Mi7522]

I'm 5'7 and I find the same things happen online, when I go out and meet people in person it's a totally different experience. Online dating blows get yourself out there

[Moy]

I just want to say

 

that women don't hate guys for their look

 

they hate their behaviors and attitudes

 

I mean if you were the ugliest man but were respectful and fun

I would admire you, talk to you for a while even though I might not date you!

 

 

My experiences on POF over the past two year say otherwise.

 

"Don't even message me unless you're at least 5ft 10."

 

"Every time I see your profile pic, it makes me sick. Grosssssss"

 

"Don't message me unless you're attractive. You're not attractive, so don't message me."

 

"You just look so weak compared to most other men."

 

"LOL you're a shortarse PMSL"

 

"Yeah, I get told that all the time, usually by better looking men than you, so there's no point in you messaging me, really, is there?"

 

A brief selection of the kind of messages that I receive due to my appearance. Want me to go on?

[Derek79]

You actually believe being taller will help? I'm 6 foot 2 and nothing for me.

[Moy]

You actually believe being taller will help? I'm 6 foot 2 and nothing for me.

 

Being short is an utter death knell. Women refuse to even acknowledge a man as a human being if he's under 5ft 10. I learned all this through two years of OLD.

[Derek79]

Being short is an utter death knell. Women refuse to even acknowledge a man as a human being if he's under 5ft 10. I learned all this through two years of OLD.

 

How do you know it's the shortness? Being 6 foot 2 hasn't helped me. Thought 6 foot 2 and having a nice suburban home, car and job would at least get me in the door but apparently not.

[Moy]

How do you know it's the shortness?

 

Because I've told this repeatedly.

[Moy]

Going to see a cosmetic surgeon in town later (open on Sundays) about getting some work done. Going to ask some gymheads about where I can get hold of some testosterone and dianabol.

 

So.....plastic surgery and steroids are required just to get something nicer than 'Ewww, f*** off!' from a woman. It begs the question why I'm attracted to a species so shallow and spiteful in the first place.

[mr_dave]

Going to see a cosmetic surgeon in town later (open on Sundays) about getting some work done. Going to ask some gymheads about where I can get hold of some testosterone and dianabol.

 

So.....plastic surgery and steroids are required just to get something nicer than 'Ewww, f*** off!' from a woman. It begs the question why I'm attracted to a species so shallow and spiteful in the first place.

 

 

Don't go the steroids route, you have a great physique as it is. A lot of women don't like overly muscular physiques.

(I created a thread here... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/498779-ladies-muscular-guys-yay-nay-updated)

Plus, the steroids can alter your mood, accelerate baldness, and cause gynaecomastia. I wouldn't touch them with a bargepole.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Dang....we're still on this thread? LOL Figured the topic about height has been beaten to death by now...but I'll contribute (if it hasn't already been said)

 

Women who are shorter, but consider their heels as part of their height and include it in that.

 

So let's say I'm 5'8" and she's 5'4" but wears pretty tall heels, she'll write-off the 5'8" guy because of this.

 

Some times in dating profiles I see, "Must be taller than me...in my heels!"

[Moy]

Don't go the steroids route, you have a great physique as it is. A lot of women don't like overly muscular physiques.

(I created a thread here... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/498779-ladies-muscular-guys-yay-nay-updated)

Plus, the steroids can alter your mood, accelerate baldness, and cause gynaecomastia. I wouldn't touch them with a bargepole.

 

Maybe, but women won't touch me with a barge pole so what other options do I have other than abject loneliness and self loathing or suicide to escape the hate?

[Moy]

Dang....we're still on this thread? LOL Figured the topic about height has been beaten to death by now...but I'll contribute (if it hasn't already been said)

 

Women who are shorter, but consider their heels as part of their height and include it in that.

 

So let's say I'm 5'8" and she's 5'4" but wears pretty tall heels, she'll write-off the 5'8" guy because of this.

 

Some times in dating profiles I see, "Must be taller than me...in my heels!"

 

This a thousand times over

[GemmaUK]

It begs the question why I'm attracted to a species so shallow and spiteful in the first place.

 

 

I posted waaay back on this thread that my preferred height in a guy is 5ft 6in to 5ft 10in

 

However, someone who calls women a species, shallow and spiteful I would not date.

 

 

OLD is full of idiots who send insults. My most regular insult and one of the least nasty on OLD goes pretty much like this:

I have been told in first or second mails that I am beautiful/stunning/whatever and in the same mail been told I must be a high maintenance gold digging b**** and then they ask me to prove I am not.

I don't reply but if I don't block them straight away they come back again expecting a date and being all nice.

I just put the insults down to that person having a bad day and or too much wine. They don't even know me at all so what they say about me personally is water off a duck's back.

[Moy]

I posted waaay back on this thread that my preferred height in a guy is 5ft 6in to 5ft 10in

 

However, someone who calls women a species, shallow and spiteful I would not date.

 

 

OLD is full of idiots who send insults. My most regular insult and one of the least nasty on OLD goes pretty much like this:

I have been told in first or second mails that I am beautiful/stunning/whatever and in the same mail been told I must be a high maintenance gold digging b**** and then they ask me to prove I am not.

I don't reply but if I don't block them straight away they come back again expecting a date and being all nice.

I just put the insults down to that person having a bad day and or too much wine. They don't even know me at all so what they say about me personally is water off a duck's back.

 

Two years non-stop of being called ugly, I'm not exactly going to think that they're all special snowflakes am I?

[Derek79]

Because I've told this repeatedly.

 

You think she's beng truthful at all?

[GemmaUK]

Two years non-stop of being called ugly, I'm not exactly going to think that they're all special snowflakes am I?

 

 

I didn't say that you should.

 

 

However, if you go in with the mindset that women are all the same that could well show up if you are on the defensive and almost waiting for an insult. Though I am sure that is not the case in most (if any) of your mails.

You just need to remember there are just rude and insulting just as there are IRL.

 

 

On a side note:

I've chatted with guys who seemed sound initially who then throw out something like 'I'm ugly/short/whatever' and once that does happen there is no way for me to dig back out of what they have said.

I don't insult people on OLD but have found they will insult themselves and then want me to pull them back up.

I'm not suggesting that this is what you do but it does happen.

 

 

OLD requires a thick skin and an ability to report and block quickly!

[True Gent]

My experiences on POF over the past two year say otherwise.

 

"Don't even message me unless you're at least 5ft 10."

 

"Every time I see your profile pic, it makes me sick. Grosssssss"

 

"Don't message me unless you're attractive. You're not attractive, so don't message me."

 

"You just look so weak compared to most other men."

 

"LOL you're a shortarse PMSL"

 

"Yeah, I get told that all the time, usually by better looking men than you, so there's no point in you messaging me, really, is there?"

 

A brief selection of the kind of messages that I receive due to my appearance. Want me to go on?

 

Moy if you are receiving messages like that online, these woman aren't even fit to share your oxygen nevemind date!

 

If 2 years of POF is having such a negative effect on you then it's time to take a break. I'm assuming you've had relationships before? So you can't be repulsive to women.

 

You are probbaly messaging the wrong type of women. As a rule you will always be ignored far more than you will be responded to. That's the nature of OLD, it's far too easy for people to be really choosy due to how much choice there is online. When dating online people have boxes which must be ticked, it's unrealistic and largely shallow.

 

I don't beleive your height is a major problem. I have been on many dates from OLD and I'm an inch shorter than you are. Woman who are so specific on height just need to be dismissed by you, in other words... "NEXT!"

 

You need to forget about women for the moment. If you can't just enjoy a drink with friends in a bar without panicking about women being present then it's getting seriously out of hand.

 

I know all about panic attacks, I've had my share of them myself. In your case you need to just focus on living a normal healthy life without being so eager to please the opposite sex. Just have a drink with your buddies and think "women... Nah, **** em"! Just for now at least until you can at least go and socialise normally with your friends.

 

Just give youreslf a break, you are trying too hard and overthinking everything to do with the opposite sex. Women should never define you or who you are.

 

If they miss out on what you have to offer, that's their loss not yours.

Edited February 8, 2015 by True Gent

[mr_dave]

Maybe, but women won't touch me with a barge pole so what other options do I have other than abject loneliness and self loathing or suicide to escape the hate?

 

It's hard for me to say, because I too am single and don't see myself finding a decent girl anytime soon. The surrounding dating pool in the North of England isn't going to yield good results because it is full of single mums and ladettes.

All I want to find is a moderately attractive, intelligent, tattoo-free girl who doesn't sleep around or drink, and who won't think of me as being some sort of weirdo because I don't drink. Unfortunately that's too much to ask for in this part of the world.

 

Would you consider moving abroad to somewhere the women might be a little more friendly? That's not to say all English women aren't nice, some are lovely, but the other day a penny dropped for me.

 

I was in the launderette doing my weekly wash, and there was this Australian guy there too. Within a few minutes, he had started chatting to me, (said I had a friendly face ), and we were talking for a good half an hour. He was such a disarmingly friendly guy, yet he remarked how impossible it was to break into peoples' social circles in England.

 

Thinking back further, I was on a train once - it was pretty crowded, but there was a seat next to me and this very attractive girl got on and sat down next to me. I was ensconced in a book. A few minutes passed and then she gave me a nudge -we talked for the rest of the journey. When we got off she asked to swap facebook details. She was American.

 

It's a small sample size, but in all my years (I'm 26) those are the only two instances I can recall where (sober) people have gone out of their way to talk to me and try to get to know me in a friendly way. Neither of them were British. Maybe your luck would be better elsewhere, what do you have to lose?

Edited February 8, 2015 by mr_dave

[Mangina]

I don't know if you were serious about the surgery, but I am considering a jaw implant to square off my jaw as it is rounded

[Moy]

I don't know if you were serious about the surgery, but I am considering a jaw implant to square off my jaw as it is rounded

 

I'm considering a rhinoplasty to reduce the size of my nose, jaw implants to make my jaw more manly and less childish looking, a skin peel and juvederm/sculptra injections.