Online dating: Being a 5ft 8 man is repulsive to women.

[Sarabi]

Forget POF...

Join Meetup. Its a good way to get out and about too (its like city socialising).

and...seriously consider going to salsa dancing classes. I promise you, you will be in demand because there are ALWAYS more women than men. You will never be short of a partner. Then you can go to salsa nights/clubs to practice...and meet more people. Plus its just really fun

[Moy]

It's definitely an online thing, I mean sure women generally prefer taller guys in the same way that men generally prefer slimmer women, chocolate tastes nicer than crap, Fridays are better than Mondays etc. We're all aware of the overall food chain and I'm perfectly fine with my own height. I've always been in good shape, got a friendly boyish face and a friendly nature/cheeky sense of humour and these attributes have stood me well in real life.

 

Since taking the plunge into the world of OLD, mainly because I'm older and my social circles have dried up as they do when friends settled down, this is where I've been battered down with the arbitrary height requirement. I found myself gradually decreasing my standards and messaging people who in the grand scheme of things I wasn't even attracted to, but they were in the 'that's all there is left' bracket. Even they were rejecting me because of my height - we are talking Mama June material here!

 

But the fault lies with me for allowing deflated confidence to take me down the path of messaging people outside of my dating tastes (I can't think of better terminology right now) opening myself up to that level of rejection.

 

TFY offers up some harsh points but they are true. It ain't what you got, it's the way that you use it, men improve - we're in competition with other, BETTER men. It's adapt or perish.

 

It's ignoring the online feedback (OLD is now in the past for me) and being able to find myself and the attributes that I listed above that I need to fulfil now.

[Toodaloo]

Holy s*** Moy.

 

You have no idea how much better that new pic is!

 

What a difference a smile makes!

 

Your not just a miserable beefed up jerk are you!!! (Are you aware thats how the other 2 pics made you seem??)

 

Keep that smile going in real life and practice on your confidence more and you will be raking the ladies in!

 

You are not going to be everyones cup of tea this is true but you know what. With a gorgeous, cheeky grin like that you will go far! Get off of OLD and get out into the real world. You will do brilliantly. A bit of confidence and getting yourself a bit more comfortable in your own skin again and you will be rocking.

 

P.S. Nice guns

[Moy]

Holy s*** Moy.

 

You have no idea how much better that new pic is!

 

What a difference a smile makes!

 

Your not just a miserable beefed up jerk are you!!! (Are you aware thats how the other 2 pics made you seem??)

 

Keep that smile going in real life and practice on your confidence more and you will be raking the ladies in!

 

You are not going to be everyones cup of tea this is true but you know what. With a gorgeous, cheeky grin like that you will go far! Get off of OLD and get out into the real world. You will do brilliantly. A bit of confidence and getting yourself a bit more comfortable in your own skin again and you will be rocking.

 

P.S. Nice guns

 

Wow! Thank you so much!

[Toodaloo]

Wow! Thank you so much!

 

Seriously the last two photos I would not have looked twice. I would have just carried on my way.

 

That grin is gorgeous. Its the making of you. I actually looked twice and thought damn if I saw him in Tescos I would be trying to make conversation. Then I congratulated myself on being right about there being a bit more to you than a grumpy face and a load of muscle.

 

You really do need to flash those teeth more often. Really opens up your face, shows off your eyes and makes you much more approachable (and far sexier) than the grumpy face.

[Moy]

Seriously the last two photos I would not have looked twice. I would have just carried on my way.

 

That grin is gorgeous. Its the making of you. I actually looked twice and thought damn if I saw him in Tescos I would be trying to make conversation. Then I congratulated myself on being right about there being a bit more to you than a grumpy face and a load of muscle.

 

You really do need to flash those teeth more often. Really opens up your face, shows off your eyes and makes you much more approachable (and far sexier) than the grumpy face.

 

 

I'm quite embarrassed now. That's the biggest compliment that I've had in two years!

 

I do smile, but obviously I need to be in the right frame of mind first. I hate having a depressed permascowl.

 

PS - I shop at the local Asda

[Sarabi]

I'm quite embarrassed now. That's the biggest compliment that I've had in two years!

 

I do smile, but obviously I need to be in the right frame of mind first. I hate having a depressed permascowl.

 

PS - I shop at the local Asda

 

I work for the supermarket that I call the Orange Monster

 

Find a branch and Taste The Difference lol...

[Toodaloo]

I'm quite embarrassed now. That's the biggest compliment that I've had in two years!

 

I do smile, but obviously I need to be in the right frame of mind first. I hate having a depressed permascowl.

 

PS - I shop at the local Asda

 

Don't be.

 

I only give compliments where they are due. So you deserve it.

 

I really do think the best way forward for you is to quit the stress and worry. Brush off the snide comments that have been so hurtful and do some fun things so you have a natural smile on your face. Plan some daft crazy things so you can giggle to yourself. Go and try something new. Ever been to opera? Go and try it. Ever gone Segway racing? Go and try it. Ever tried that indoor skydiving? Go and try it. Go and do all the things you think you might like and some things that you may be a bit hesitant about too! Just for a laugh. Make life fun and enjoyable. Then you will have a more natural smile and you will grin as you think of stuff while you go about your daily business.

 

I am lucky as my life is great. This time last year it wasn't and I had permascowl and didn't stand up straight, didn't look people in the eye... but now I can appreciate my fab bosses and my work which I love. Just been having a giggle with them in fact. I have fun times. Some of the things I do are not to my taste but I go and try them anyway! Tickets booked so far this month include both theater and activities. I have some more that I am waiting to come available too.

 

P.S. So do I - but its about 400 miles from yours and I am not what one would describe as "skinny" at all so you would probably reject me... So I guess I will just have to carry on picking out my own onions and not ask your opinion on them!

[Toodaloo]

I work for the supermarket that I call the Orange Monster

 

Find a branch and Taste The Difference lol...

 

See! You are going to have to beet them back with a stick with that smile on!

 

[Moy]

Don't be.

 

I only give compliments where they are due. So you deserve it.

 

I really do think the best way forward for you is to quit the stress and worry. Brush off the snide comments that have been so hurtful and do some fun things so you have a natural smile on your face. Plan some daft crazy things so you can giggle to yourself. Go and try something new. Ever been to opera? Go and try it. Ever gone Segway racing? Go and try it. Ever tried that indoor skydiving? Go and try it. Go and do all the things you think you might like and some things that you may be a bit hesitant about too! Just for a laugh. Make life fun and enjoyable. Then you will have a more natural smile and you will grin as you think of stuff while you go about your daily business.

 

I am lucky as my life is great. This time last year it wasn't and I had permascowl and didn't stand up straight, didn't look people in the eye... but now I can appreciate my fab bosses and my work which I love. Just been having a giggle with them in fact. I have fun times. Some of the things I do are not to my taste but I go and try them anyway! Tickets booked so far this month include both theater and activities. I have some more that I am waiting to come available too.

 

P.S. So do I - but its about 400 miles from yours and I am not what one would describe as "skinny" at all so you would probably reject me... So I guess I will just have to carry on picking out my own onions and not ask your opinion on them!

 

If you don't mind me asking, what did you do to get over permascowl?

And as for rejecting you, I have pretty random in my taste in women......this frustrates me even more as I should theoretically have more options due to not having a specific 'type!'

[Toodaloo]

If you don't mind me asking, what did you do to get over permascowl?

And as for rejecting you, I have pretty random in my taste in women......this frustrates me even more as I should theoretically have more options due to not having a specific 'type!'

 

I did exactly what I am telling you to do. I started small. Just smiling at random blokes. I did silly crazy little things to make people smile. I started booking myself to do things and going out and trying things.

 

I got happy. Its that simple.

 

Still single but now do not see that as being a problem and I love life. I am back to my slightly fruit loopy self that my friends and family love and adore. I make mistakes and I make a pillock out of myself constantly but I don't worry about it.

 

Recent examples are pulling faces at a child only to look up and see an incredibly gorgeous man looking at me... it looked as though I was poking my tongue out with my fingers up my nose at him! Another I thought this rather lovely chap was smiling at me so I went to make conversation... clearly I was wrong as his mate over took me just as I was saying hello!!! I think they may have been a bit more than friends judging by the way they greeted each other... a while ago I was flirting with two chaps and was really pleased with myself, turned to take a second look and they were walking off hand in hand... lovely guys but something tells me they had already found the one for them!!!

 

I just let all the annoyances of life go rather than hold on to them. Been a bad day? Tomorrow is a new one so doesn't matter. Look for the positives and remove as much negativity as possible.

[Moy]

I did exactly what I am telling you to do. I started small. Just smiling at random blokes. I did silly crazy little things to make people smile. I started booking myself to do things and going out and trying things.

 

I got happy. Its that simple.

 

Still single but now do not see that as being a problem and I love life. I am back to my slightly fruit loopy self that my friends and family love and adore. I make mistakes and I make a pillock out of myself constantly but I don't worry about it.

 

Recent examples are pulling faces at a child only to look up and see an incredibly gorgeous man looking at me... it looked as though I was poking my tongue out with my fingers up my nose at him! Another I thought this rather lovely chap was smiling at me so I went to make conversation... clearly I was wrong as his mate over took me just as I was saying hello!!! I think they may have been a bit more than friends judging by the way they greeted each other... a while ago I was flirting with two chaps and was really pleased with myself, turned to take a second look and they were walking off hand in hand... lovely guys but something tells me they had already found the one for them!!!

 

I just let all the annoyances of life go rather than hold on to them. Been a bad day? Tomorrow is a new one so doesn't matter. Look for the positives and remove as much negativity as possible.

 

Whoa. Terrible gaydar!!!!

[Toodaloo]

Whoa. Terrible gaydar!!!!

 

Tell me about it!!! I really should take one of my gay friends with me but we would only end up squabbling!

 

There are obviously far too many lovely gay men out there!

 

The one that I stuck my tongue out at wasn't gay though... I think I frightened him because I was so embarrassed and blurted out exactly what was going through my mind... It was along the lines of "Oh my gosh I am so terribly sorry I was actually pulling faces at that child, oh how embarrassing, oh gosh your utterly gorgeous..." before scurrying away blushing!!! AT least I didn't tell him how nice he smelt... Sent my hormones into over drive that one. I thought my uterus would jump out and shackle him to my trolley!

 

I am not going to worry though. At the end of the day I didn't say anything offensive and it must have cheered him up to have a compliment even if by a mad woman with her fingers up her nose who ran away...!

[Moy]

Tell me about it!!! I really should take one of my gay friends with me but we would only end up squabbling!

 

There are obviously far too many lovely gay men out there!

 

The one that I stuck my tongue out at wasn't gay though... I think I frightened him because I was so embarrassed and blurted out exactly what was going through my mind... It was along the lines of "Oh my gosh I am so terribly sorry I was actually pulling faces at that child, oh how embarrassing, oh gosh your utterly gorgeous..." before scurrying away blushing!!! AT least I didn't tell him how nice he smelt... Sent my hormones into over drive that one. I thought my uterus would jump out and shackle him to my trolley!

 

I am not going to worry though. At the end of the day I didn't say anything offensive and it must have cheered him up to have a compliment even if by a mad woman with her fingers up her nose who ran away...!

 

So very awkward!!!!

[Toodaloo]

So very awkward!!!!

 

Yep! I can imagine him laughing to himself about that one!

 

But heck if you don't talk to people your not going to get to know them are you!

 

I have got a bit better but still have my "moments". Its all practice!

[Moy]

Yep! I can imagine him laughing to himself about that one!

 

But heck if you don't talk to people your not going to get to know them are you!

 

I have got a bit better but still have my "moments". Its all practice!

 

I've built up a monster through OLD and social isolation. I need a social life first before I can practice.

[Toodaloo]

I've built up a monster through OLD and social isolation. I need a social life first before I can practice.

 

Very true.

 

Do the things you enjoy and let all those comments from those vile women on those sites fade into insignificance.

 

But keep that smile on your face You never know who may try to chat you up! Oh thats another thing.. learning to notice when some one is actually chatting you up!!!

[Moy]

 

Oh thats another thing.. learning to notice when some one is actually chatting you up!!

 

 

And THAT'S another thing, too. Poor self-esteem = unable to decipher body language/signals. A woman has to pretty much have her boobs in my face before I can believe that she might actually like me!

[Toodaloo]

And THAT'S another thing, too. Poor self-esteem = unable to decipher body language/signals. A woman has to pretty much have her boobs in my face before I can believe that she might actually like me!

 

Oh don't worry - you are not the only one.

 

I walked into a pub full of naked men and didn't notice until they waggled their "things" at me and shouted whooo hooo! To be fair one of them still had a pair of glasses on and I was running late for a hen party...

 

Good thing is that you have the lovely people of LoveShack to help you decipher all of this now. AND by the time you feel more confident it will not matter to you even if you do get turned down when you ask as you will feel good about yourself again.

[Moy]

Well I'm off out drinking with my buddies tonight, for the first time in months. I'm seriously worried about women being just as nasty in real life as they are online to be honest with you.

[OrangeParty]

I work out and have 6 pack abs in my 40s, yet the mere mention of 5ft 8 renders me undateable.

 

Oh, what I would do to have a body like yours!

 

And look at the bright side, at least you aren't Asian!

[Toodaloo]

Well I'm off out drinking with my buddies tonight, for the first time in months. I'm seriously worried about women being just as nasty in real life as they are online to be honest with you.

 

People can be nasty. Men, women, fat, thin, short, tall, white, black... it doesnt matter. The trick is to brush the nasty people off keep them at a distance and hold the good people close. Good luck on your night out. Dont forget to use that gorgeous smile .

[Moy]

So I went out......and lasted about half an hour before having to come home at the onset of a panic attack. The bar was full of beautiful looking women and my immediate thought was: "Oh no! They're all gorgeous, they will hate somebody like me for sure."

 

It soon snowballed, so home I came. Disgusted with myself.

[OrangeParty]

So I went out......and lasted about half an hour before having to come home at the onset of a panic attack. The bar was full of beautiful looking women and my immediate thought was: "Oh no! They're all gorgeous, they will hate somebody like me for sure."

 

It soon snowballed, so home I came. Disgusted with myself.

 

D'aw. It's okay, at least you went for a half hour! That's progress!

 

Now the next time try to stay for 40 minutes. You've been successful in weight loss before, right? Same concept... gradual, tangible milestones. Don't try to get a girl in bed yet. Focus on small steps and celebrate each small step.

 

(now if only I can take my own advice)

[Mangina]

So I went out......and lasted about half an hour before having to come home at the onset of a panic attack. The bar was full of beautiful looking women and my immediate thought was: "Oh no! They're all gorgeous, they will hate somebody like me for sure."

 

It soon snowballed, so home I came. Disgusted with myself.

 

Were you by yourself? If so try going out with a friends