Old feelings resurfacing after reestablishing contact

[outdooradventurer]

Okay, so I'm 19, I'm in my second year of university, also my second year since leaving high school. Back in high school, beginning at the start of my grade 11 year, I liked a girl. we became friends, and I told her that April, but she wasn't interested. we remained friends, and actually became very close. I continued to have strong feelings for her, and she was aware of this, but it didn't cause a problem in our friendship. The last time we were talking a lot was the summer after I graduated high school. I still liked her at this time, and she knew.

For a while I had been considering distancing myself from her temporarily, as a way to try to stop liking her, but I never wanted to do it. However, after I started university, we talked much less, because I was always so busy and trying to sleep at night instead of talk.

So all of this time she also never dated anyone herself. There was just never anyone she was into in that way. BUT, that December, something changed (I still don't know what happened), and she began dating a long-time friend of hers. With that, I decided that she would appreciate my interest even less, and I stopped talking to her in hopes of stopping my feelings. I never ignored her when she tried to talk, but she didn't do that too often. So months went by, and though I never really had strong feelings for anyone else, I wasn't thinking about her either. I seemed to be over her. We were still facebook friends, and we followed each other on tumblr, but we didn't have any direct contact. This continued into this past August, when she invited me to a party at her house, and I went. I then saw her again when I ran into her at my university(which she does not attend). We ended up riding the bus together and talking. Then the non-communication continued until this December, when I ran into her in Walmart. We only visited briefly, but agreed that we needed to get talking again and catch up.

 

So we finally have planned to hang out next week, which is great. I would love for us to be close again, she was one of my best friends. The problem is, over the last few times I've seen her, I've realized my feelings are back in a big way.

 

I just don't know what to do! Of course I know I can't make a move while she's dating this guy. But after? I already tried and failed. She's already said she's not into me that way. Could it be possible to change that, especially after this separation? And if there is a chance, is there anything in particular I should do now? I could ramble on forever about everything I like about her and why, but I won't. There's just never been anyone else like her in my life.

[preraph]

If she was interested in anything romantic, she wouldn't have told you she wasn't. After you became close friends, this didn't make you more attractive to her romantically, so nothing has changed. She knows you have a crush on her, and she knows where to find you if her attraction magically changes. She knows all she'd have to do is lean in and kiss you if she wanted you. You are wasting your time going after her. You need to be spending this time meeting new girls. Youth is too short to chase the one girl who knows she's not interested in you that way when there's others out there who will be. Get busy signing up for social and volunteer activities at school.