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Does long distance work?


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My boyfriend is going to grad school. He has applied for schools in our city but might not get in. He said if he had to move he wanted to carry on the relationship long distance. But I don't know. I've seen friends keeping long distance relationship painfully and finally broke up. But I don't want to lose him though. I'm so sad and worried that he may have to move.

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Mine didn't work out, I was her rebound guy. I gave her everything for our long distance relationship. And she just tossed me aside for her ec. So does long distance relationship works? Depends on the people wanting to make it work

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It depends on the people. They are tough but it's possible when there is a known end to the separation.

 

You stay in touch through a variety of means. You see each other as often as you can. You have a lot of trust & patience. You can't flip out if he tells you he's studying with a female classmate but you do keep your eyes & ears open.

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yup, agreed that it depends on the people. If you guys are meant to be, you two can and will make the relationship work. Grad school is only 1 or 2 years?

 

For my case, I'm the one starting grad school and my bf is supportive of it. He knows it's what I've wanted for a long time and there aren't many opportunities in my area. But at the same time, we've been in a ldr for 3plus years, and seeing each other 2-3 months each year.

 

All in all, if it's what he really wants, think about supporting him.

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It can certainly work, but obviously there is also a chance that it won't. Just like all other Rs, except LDRs are harder than most.

 

In your case I think this is a bridge that you will want to cross when you get to it. For all you know he will be accepted into a grad school nearby. And if he is applying to other cities, if they are within an hour or two driving distance then that would be almost like a standard relationship, very different from an international LDR.

 

Basically, way too many factors here, no point hashing out all possibilities.

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If both parties are willing to put in the effort i believe LDR can work ;)

 

Sadly mine didn't. Me and my ex discussed it before and he said it can work out if only we want it to. But guess what, when he went abroad for studies he broke up with me just after 2 weeks.

But i suspect he is experiencing GIGS because i found out he started dating a girl 3 weeks after our BU. anyway i just started a thread on this and wont start ranting here :laugh:.

 

All i can say is this is a good chance to test your relationship, don't keep thinking about the bad scenarios.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I don't know. I had an international LDR, and I'm never doing that again. It's really not worth it unless there's a relatively soon end date for the relationship. Otherwise, it's just masochistic. I missed kissing and cuddling and just being close to someone. The glow of a laptop screen is no comparison. And skype sessions left me empty afterwards. You want to share your life with the person, but they're so far away.

 

If you do an LDR, get ready for loneliness. In my opinion, you two should go your separate ways and then try reconnecting in the future if you're both single. Unless you're ready to settle down now, and he's the guy, then just prep yourself for 1-2 very hard years.

 

I just don't believe in fairy tales. Love is super, but it doesn't conquer all.

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no one can predict the future, I dated a girl that lived two minutes away and that relationship was shorter than when I dated a girl who lived 500 miles away.

 

Nothing in life is guaranteed, are ldrs harder than a regular relationship? Yes!

 

But it all depends on the individuals involved, if you two want it to work it will work if one doesn't it won't. And that's the same for any relationship.

 

Best of luck in whatever path you take.

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LDR's rarely work but if they do it is usually under these circumstances.

 

- A close and longstanding relationship already exists in which the couple intend to take the next step in commitment.

- There is a definite end to the separation and this is planned for and agreed to prior to the distance relationship commencing. Both parties must see it as a temporary situation with a reasonably close solution.

- Both parties take the agreed steps during the separation to be together again. Any dragging of the feet here will inevitably end the relationship.

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