glycerine Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Hi All: So when meeting my exwife after signing some documents with the divorce attorney she told me the following: - 4 months after we broke up she started dating this new guy, about 6 weeks later she filmed them having sex with his phone. She didn't now and found that she was filmed when she check his phone one time. - Before confronting him she did some digging on his laptop and usb sticks, and she found dozens of videos and pics of other girls. She copied those on her sisters PC to keep them. - She then confronted him on why he had filmed them and tried to break up with him. He deleted the pics/video and told her crying an on his knees that he would never do that again and that he had erased it for good ( neither she nor I belive that, with the cloud it's a given the video will always exist). - She has tried to break things up with him for about to weeks, but trying to go soft so he doesn't hold a grudge and make those videos public. He has threatened to "expose her" if she leaves him (that's why it's obvious he has pics). He has told her that he'll kill her and whomever ends up with him. - He's constantly jealous of me and every single living male on the planet. - I kinda wanted to try (we broke up because we couldn't stand each other) things with my ex on the future, this thing It's not her fault. But she feels like she can't even look at me on the eyes. - While I was talking with her the guy called about ten times straight. - She says she'll try to end things today, be it on good or bad terms. Meanwhile I can walk away or do something about it. What do you think. I'm a good guy, giving her a cold shoulder seems like giving more power to the a**hole. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 It's time your little girl grew up and handled her own problems. You're not her daddy. It doesn't sound like she's actually doing much about it except crying to him. Since he tried to blackmail her, she should go to the police. But she probably won't. Stay out of it completely. If you say anything, say Call the police. There's nothing you can do and it could be dangerous. Anything you do will only incite him further. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 There's no harm in you being there for her. I went through something similar with an ex bf -- although no nude videos or photos; he was stalking me and taunting my family. My ex didn't do anything but he and several others were ready to go beat the crap out of the guy. I think just being a good friend to her is all you need to do for now. If things heat up, let her know that you'll be there for her. Just because you're divorced doesn't mean you can't be humane towards her. She needs people to back her up, not judge her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 May I ask logically how anyone can have a video done off the phone and NOT know? Granted they could be blindfolded and having "experimental" liason, yet I cannot get passed the concept of a Phone being tossed around in the throws of passion and NOT knowing?? ( no offense to the posters quandry, I just can't get that visual outta my head!) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 May I ask logically how anyone can have a video done off the phone and NOT know? Granted they could be blindfolded and having "experimental" liason, yet I cannot get passed the concept of a Phone being tossed around in the throws of passion and NOT knowing?? ( no offense to the posters quandry, I just can't get that visual outta my head!) He probably had it on a table somewhere with the video running. It's not something that would be noticeable if he propped it up and put it somewhere non-obvious. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 He probably had it on a table somewhere with the video running. It's not something that would be noticeable if he propped it up and put it somewhere non-obvious. Dang that takes more effort then the act itself! (plus its a wee bit creepy). 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 Why do you feel the need to be a white knight ? She's your ex ... let her go and get over it. She is not your child and she is not your gf/fiance/wife. You two are not together anymore. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 Dang that takes more effort then the act itself! (plus its a wee bit creepy). Well, yeah, it's extremely creepy. He premeditated that so that he could blackmail her. If I were her, I'd break up with him and let him do whatever he wants with the video. If it goes public, file a lawsuit against him. Or, better yet, get a lawyer involved before he does anything. I'm not sure she'd have a case but it would serve as intimidation. Guys like that are usually very afraid of the law. Basically, they don't expect their victim to fight back. When they do, it shocks the hell out of them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author glycerine Posted February 2, 2015 Author Share Posted February 2, 2015 Why do you feel the need to be a white knight ? She's your ex ... let her go and get over it. She is not your child and she is not your gf/fiance/wife. You two are not together anymore. Yeah that's pretty much it... I do have a white knight complex. In the end I told her that she should really get her mother involved (she's a lawyer) and stop trying to fix things herself. She says she's worked it out herself, hmm I don't know how and at this point I'm convinced it's not my problem. Thanks to everyone who replied. Hope this thread helps someone else. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
crazycanuck86 Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 There is nothing wrong with still caring for your ex and I know how hard it is to stand aside when someone you still care for may be in an abusive relationship. but still this is her problem now not yours. The most you can do for now is advise her to go to the police and just stay out of it as much as possible. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lion Heart Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 I live in Australia and it's a very certain FACT that if anyone phones or records another person without their prior consent it's a criminal offense. Is it there? Her mother's a lawyer? She has to tell her mum and get this pos charged. NB: Real life recent example here. Child told parents his teacher was picking on him. Parents told child to record T with his phone. He did. Parents took recording to principal. The PARENTS were charged! Your exW needs to go the full gamut on this perverted nutjob. Only THIS will ensure any other persons safety from him in the future... maybe. Lion Heart. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Dang that takes more effort then the act itself! (plus its a wee bit creepy). He videoed her having sex, without her knowledge and "she found dozens of videos and pics of other girls." That is a lot more than just a "wee bit creepy". Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 - She has tried to break things up with him for about to weeks, but trying to go soft so he doesn't hold a grudge and make those videos public. He has threatened to "expose her" if she leaves him (that's why it's obvious he has pics). He has told her that he'll kill her and whomever ends up with him. She has to go the cops immediately, file a complaint and take the threat seriously. This guy is nuts and she has to stay away from him. Link to post Share on other sites
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