Author Liam123 Posted February 23, 2015 Author Share Posted February 23, 2015 Update: Nothing much; I haven't spoken to her for (I think) over four weeks now, which I am proud of, and her best friend hasn't messaged me since the 5th either. I do still want her back though, although I think (or hope) I'm at the stage where I can accept that she may not want me back. I haven't blocked her on Facebook and one of her statuses the other day was 'I am so happy right now'. To my surprise this didn't really bother me that much, because I think she's trying to get my attention. For instance, about two weeks ago she posted 'got my exam timetable'. I was interested to know how many exams she had but I did NOT message her, in fact I turned off chat for her so I wouldn't be tempted, About four or five hours later her status changed to '22 exams'. Hmm. Anyway, I have a few things of mine that I lent her that I want back (couple of books, three DVDs and two CDs I think), and she hasn't contacted me offering to give me them back. I am thinking of popping down to her house to get them, but should I do it unannounced (which I somehow think would work because I think she wants to talk to me again) or should I message her beforehand? And should I be worried that she hasn't messaged me yet? P.S. I may have said this before but she's never (as long as I've known her) been online on Facebook as often as she has been since we split up. When we were together she went on about once or twice a week; now she's either online for an hour at a time or not on for three days. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Update: Nothing much; I haven't spoken to her for (I think) over four weeks now, which I am proud of, and her best friend hasn't messaged me since the 5th either. I do still want her back though, although I think (or hope) I'm at the stage where I can accept that she may not want me back. I haven't blocked her on Facebook and one of her statuses the other day was 'I am so happy right now'. To my surprise this didn't really bother me that much, because I think she's trying to get my attention. For instance, about two weeks ago she posted 'got my exam timetable'. I was interested to know how many exams she had but I did NOT message her, in fact I turned off chat for her so I wouldn't be tempted, About four or five hours later her status changed to '22 exams'. Hmm. Anyway, I have a few things of mine that I lent her that I want back (couple of books, three DVDs and two CDs I think), and she hasn't contacted me offering to give me them back. I am thinking of popping down to her house to get them, but should I do it unannounced (which I somehow think would work because I think she wants to talk to me again) or should I message her beforehand? And should I be worried that she hasn't messaged me yet? P.S. I may have said this before but she's never (as long as I've known her) been online on Facebook as often as she has been since we split up. When we were together she went on about once or twice a week; now she's either online for an hour at a time or not on for three days. You aren't in No Contact if you are checking up on her social media. If you don't want to block her outright, at least block her news feed. Stop monitoring her Facebook usage -- that's not healthy. Link to post Share on other sites
Mi7522 Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Update: Nothing much; I haven't spoken to her for (I think) over four weeks now, which I am proud of, and her best friend hasn't messaged me since the 5th either. I do still want her back though, although I think (or hope) I'm at the stage where I can accept that she may not want me back. I haven't blocked her on Facebook and one of her statuses the other day was 'I am so happy right now'. To my surprise this didn't really bother me that much, because I think she's trying to get my attention. For instance, about two weeks ago she posted 'got my exam timetable'. I was interested to know how many exams she had but I did NOT message her, in fact I turned off chat for her so I wouldn't be tempted, About four or five hours later her status changed to '22 exams'. Hmm. Anyway, I have a few things of mine that I lent her that I want back (couple of books, three DVDs and two CDs I think), and she hasn't contacted me offering to give me them back. I am thinking of popping down to her house to get them, but should I do it unannounced (which I somehow think would work because I think she wants to talk to me again) or should I message her beforehand? And should I be worried that she hasn't messaged me yet? P.S. I may have said this before but she's never (as long as I've known her) been online on Facebook as often as she has been since we split up. When we were together she went on about once or twice a week; now she's either online for an hour at a time or not on for three days. Do you really need those books, DVD's or the CD's? If so text her that you will have a friend come over to pick them up for you. Again you are overthnkng things, you're still pining over her. The last thing you need right now is to be face to face pretending you're there to pickup your stuff up. You'll blow it big time and the only result will be her looking at you thinking it was the best decision she has ever made and you going home alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Liam123 Posted February 24, 2015 Author Share Posted February 24, 2015 You aren't in No Contact if you are checking up on her social media. If you don't want to block her outright, at least block her news feed. Stop monitoring her Facebook usage -- that's not healthy. Hi mate. I'm not checking her social media; I've blocked her on WhatsApp and I've turned off chat for her on Facebook - her statuses just appear on my news feed as I'm browsing. I don't monitor on purpose Link to post Share on other sites
littlesister1234 Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 This sounds so eerily similar to my situation right down to how long we have been together to the time we took our "break" too, minus the Facebook drama. It's kind of creepy. I still love my boyfriend too and hope that one day we will get back together. I have been NC 4 days now. I miss him and love him with all my heart, but I have finally faced the reality that we might never get back together. He finally officially ended it last week, through text message. He did say he needed wanted to be friends with me, but he just needed some time and some therapy to work on the issues he had before he met me, and eventually came out after the first few months of our relationship. I told him my phone and heart are always open to him, and that he can contact me when he is ready. I say stick with no contact. That way all all frustrations are gone when or if she decides she wants contact with you or vice versa. If you are still friends with her on Facebook, delete her off your friends list. Give yourself some time. I have done that for 4 days now. While the pain is still there, I have been a lot more open to other people in my life and they are helping me cope with missing him and the loneliness. It's human to hold out hope, but don't hold out any expectations. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Hi mate. I'm not checking her social media; I've blocked her on WhatsApp and I've turned off chat for her on Facebook - her statuses just appear on my news feed as I'm browsing. I don't monitor on purpose Then you need to block her. What you are doing isn't smart or productive. You shouldn't be seeing her status at all. That's not helping you. Link to post Share on other sites
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