Author SaraSnow Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 He's not old. He's in his early 30s and single. Same thing as 25 and single, really. If he loves music, that's just not going to stop or get toned down. And Sara, you or no one else should have to tiptoe and whisper in your apartment! Home is where you're supposed to be able to live. I'm sorry this is a bad match for you, but it seems like you're the one going to have to make the move. If he is being intentionally loud slamming doors, it's probably because he knows he's untouchable. What will you do when you get married and have teenagers????? You won't be able to leave and move away from them! I didn't say he was old - but 30 years old is very much an adult. And he has a long term girlfriend (how he treats her, really rattles my cage also. But it's none of my business and it;s a story for another time! But lets just say it doesn't bring him any higher in my estimation!) I don't expect him to tiptoe, but I don't think you understand the extent of the noise. I can hear my other two housemates move around the house, I can hear them talk - it isn't disruptive at all. The girl who was previously in the room above me - no issue. In fact, it's quite pleasant to have some background noise. When he walks - it literally feels like someone is hammering on the ground. He gets up for work an hour/half an hour earlier than me. I don't need to set an alarm because him walking around, is enough to wake me up (I'm not even a particularly light sleeper!) So I have had to adjust my schedule to fit his already. The noise he creates.... it's just a drain like you can't imagine. To never be able to relax in your own house is awful. So, no I agree, no-one should have to tiptoe around an uptight housemate. But I'm NOT an uptight housemate, and I can tolerate noise - I've lived in busy cities my whole life. Funny you should mention teenagers of my own ha, From living with this guy, I have vowed I will raise children who are considerate of others. His mum absolutely worships him. He can do no wrong in her eyes, it is very obvious. She thinks he is the perfect son because he is well mannered in that he says "please" and "thank you", but without actually meaning it, if you understand what I mean. He was privately educated and went to an excellent university, and now has a great job - all contributing factors as to why she thinks he is amazing. I feel like saying to her "actually, all those other things don't mean very much, because your son is utterly lacking in empathy, kindness or consideration" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 For young people, 11 at night playing music is, if anything, early. You can't expect anyone to be quiet in bed by 10:30 except a few geriatric earlybirds. I am geriatric, but I am up watching tv until 12 or 1. At his age, I was up every night and playing music all hours. I disagree with this attempt at justification, and I'm in my 20s. Yes, staying up late and watching a show or playing music is totally normal. But that's what headphones are for if you have roommates! I would never, ever, ever listen to music at 11pm without headphones in a shared house. And as a matter of fact, none of the roommates I had in college did either! (I did get very lucky with roommates though). Being young is NOT an excuse for being plain inconsiderate. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 What will you do when you get married and have teenagers????? You won't be able to leave and move away from them! Parents who allow their teenage children to blast loud music in their room at all hours of the night are doing not only their family a disservice, but the child and everyone else he/she interacts with as well. I would think (or hope) that part of raising a child would involve teaching them to be considerate towards other people they live with. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SaraSnow Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 I disagree with this attempt at justification, and I'm in my 20s. Yes, staying up late and watching a show or playing music is totally normal. But that's what headphones are for if you have roommates! I would never, ever, ever listen to music at 11pm without headphones in a shared house. And as a matter of fact, none of the roommates I had in college did either! (I did get very lucky with roommates though). Being young is NOT an excuse for being plain inconsiderate. I think I would agree with you completely! I don't want to come across as some grumpy old lady, angry at my housemate if he so much as sneezes. I am young and sociable myself! I listen to music a lot too - but I almost always have headphones. If I don't use headphones, I put it on very low from my laptop (I never use speakers). Even then, it is only on weekends. I honestly don't feel there is any real justification for him to blast music from speakers, from morning to late at night - just because he feels like it? He would be more suited to living alone than I would, as I am able to think how my actions impact on the people I live with, and I actually care about it. Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 For young people, 11 at night playing music is, if anything, early. You can't expect anyone to be quiet in bed by 10:30 except a few geriatric earlybirds. I am geriatric, but I am up watching tv until 12 or 1. At his age, I was up every night and playing music all hours. This obviously isn't a good fit for you. Frankly, I'm not sure ANY roommate arrangement will be a good fit for you. I think you need to get the cheapest place you can find and live by yourself. And I know that if you get an apartment, you're going to then be unhappy with the noise coming from the people next door, either their kids or their footsteps or their music, so you just need to get out and get a house by yourself. A shack alone is better than a nice apartment with roommates anyway. No apartment building is ever quiet. For me the biggest disturbance was when they started letting kids in to what used to be adult complexes and they were up screaming at 7 in the morning. But yours seems to be music or sex or anything a young person does and will continue to do. So you need to live alone. If you have had a successful roommate situation before, I think it was just dumb luck. Normal young people have a life after 10 at night. I'm sorry but I disagree. I have lived in many apartment buildings in the past and not a single one of them allowed unlimited noise at any time of the day or night. Noise complaints from other tenants were always taken very seriously and often resulted in tenants being evicted if they refused to respect the rules. When I was younger I loved blasting my music as loud as I could but never in an apt building and in the evenings and early mornings I wore headphones. Most building owner/managers expect their tenants to quiet down from 10 PM to 8:00 or 9:00 AM. The OP isn't demanding absolute quiet, she only expects him to tone it down in the evenings and early mornings when she is trying to sleep. That is not the least bit unreasonable. So OP once again I'm on your side but unfortunately coming here to complain about this guy isn't going to fix your problem. By the sounds of it you still haven't spoken to your other roommates to find out how they feel about this guy. Why not? Perhaps there is no solution to this because the guy is buddies with the landlord. Maybe it's simply time for you to move. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SaraSnow Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 I'm sorry but I disagree. I have lived in many apartment buildings in the past and not a single one of them allowed unlimited noise at any time of the day or night. Noise complaints from other tenants were always taken very seriously and often resulted in tenants being evicted if they refused to respect the rules. When I was younger I loved blasting my music as loud as I could but never in an apt building and in the evenings and early mornings I wore headphones. Most building owner/managers expect their tenants to quiet down from 10 PM to 8:00 or 9:00 AM. The OP isn't demanding absolute quiet, she only expects him to tone it down in the evenings and early mornings when she is trying to sleep. That is not the least bit unreasonable. So OP once again I'm on your side but unfortunately coming here to complain about this guy isn't going to fix your problem. By the sounds of it you still haven't spoken to your other roommates to find out how they feel about this guy. Why not? Perhaps there is no solution to this because the guy is buddies with the landlord. Maybe it's simply time for you to move. I broached the subject earlier today with one - I didn't want to go into a big rant (we don't know each other very well!) But I told him I was concerned that I might disrupt him with noise, and told him I wouldn't be offended if e brought it up (He said I hadn't been noisy or disruptive). I brought up Inconsiderate Housemate. He said he had heard the noise and while it didn't bother him too much, he had mentioned it to the housemate. He's quite a nice, amiable guy. He's shy too, so while I don't think he'd go speak to the landlord, I'm glad he has said something! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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