autumnnight Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 I do think she's being gaslighted. Like I said. I would t be surprised if he said I'm following him.. But she cant be stupid. So no. I think she's deliberately intimidating me. And I've been seeing mm for 7 years almost daily. Never happened before. I think she's given up her job to save her marriage... Poor vache Remember BS this is an OW forum!! Yeah, it is. But have you actually read what you have written? Is it possible you do not posses empathy? Some people do not. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jesuischarlie Posted January 31, 2015 Author Share Posted January 31, 2015 And who told you that, I wonder? For all you know, he may be lavishing her with gifts, giving her great sex, is telling her he loves her, and is doing anything she asks, just so they are still together and she doesn't divorce him. He is capable of lying to her, who says he is telling you the truth... Lol no....... I do know that for sure by the mere fact she's bothering me. Obvious. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jesuischarlie Posted January 31, 2015 Author Share Posted January 31, 2015 Yeah, it is. But have you actually read what you have written? Is it possible you do not posses empathy? Some people do not. Empathy!!! I can not feel sorry for her as she knew about our affair for years and did nothing. Actually the only reason I'm in this is because I couldn't imagine someone taking their spouse back after all those D days. So no.... No Empathy !! But I feel sorry for abused animals who know no better. Link to post Share on other sites
adna89 Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 You have lost 7 years and you are proud of it?how old are you,how old is he? what do you think will happen in lets say 3 years? maybe he will get tired and leave you,what then? 10 years for nothing? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sunburned Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 Lol no....... I do know that for sure by the mere fact she's bothering me. Obvious. The only obvious thing here is he hasn't left his wife after 7 years of carrying on with you. He must not think you're worth the trade. The "poor vache" here is you. (Obviously) 12 Link to post Share on other sites
snappytomcat Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 The only obvious thing here is he hasn't left his wife after 7 years of carrying on with you. He must not think you're worth the trade. The "poor vache" here is you. (Obviously) I think I love you sunburned 4 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Empathy!!! I can not feel sorry for her as she knew about our affair for years and did nothing. Actually the only reason I'm in this is because I couldn't imagine someone taking their spouse back after all those D days. So no.... No Empathy !! But I feel sorry for abused animals who know no better. What did you expect her to do that she didn't do? Did you not also stay through all those D days? 10 Link to post Share on other sites
purplesorrow Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 I do think she's being gaslighted. Like I said. I would t be surprised if he said I'm following him.. But she cant be stupid. So no. I think she's deliberately intimidating me. And I've been seeing mm for 7 years almost daily. Never happened before. I think she's given up her job to save her marriage... Poor vache Remember BS this is an OW forum!! Why are you intimidated by a 'poor vache'? Why would he need to throw you under the bus if his love for you is so real? You are right, this is the ow forum. Some people have no boundaries and try to insert themselves where they don't belong and then have the gall to defend that choice. ? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
awkward Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Empathy!!! I can not feel sorry for her as she knew about our affair for years and did nothing. Actually the only reason I'm in this is because I couldn't imagine someone taking their spouse back after all those D days. So no.... No Empathy !! But I feel sorry for abused animals who know no better. She knew of your affair and did nothing. That bothers you? Why didn't you do something? How about him? You are pissed at your boyfriend's wife because she didn't do anything about your affair. How do you rationalize that? The way you talk about women and wives in general demonstrates your anger and insecurities. It is not her job to stop your affair. She didn't start it. She didn't participate in it. The only reason you are still in this affair is because his wife keeps taking him back after all of your Ddays? Wow! You also keep taking him back and he doesn't even have to pretend to choose you. You said he could be telling her that you are following him. beep beep Imagine what he is really saying. Sounds like two women who are lacking self-esteem. 7 years and no end in sight. That is just amazing. What exactly do you get out of this affair? Is it really just a way to stick it to his wife? Do you even want to be with MM? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
TigerLilly78 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Before you go to the law make sure you are not in a state where being the other women is against the law. There are still a few. Actually just heard of a case where ow was sued and named as public record as reason for divorce. And if you don't like her following you don't give her a reason to. Behind most crazy women is a man that made her that way. I think all states should have this rule both cheating parties should be named and shamed him and her and the one that was cheated on should be entitled to everything in the marriage clean cut might make people a little less inclined to cheat within marriage there is just not enough consequence for this kinda thing. Moving on OP hes clearly a lier yet you believe him when he say "hes turned to stone"..lmao clearly hes still talking to her if shes on you like this hes playing you both its up to you if you want to finally do the right thing and go no contact until then enjoy her following you its only a consequence of your own actions after all.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
awkward Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 The way you talk about women and wives in general demonstrates your anger and insecurities. Unable to edit. For clarification, I meant to say betrayed wives in general. A case of my fingers moving faster than my brain. I apologize for the incorrect statement. Link to post Share on other sites
TigerLilly78 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Empathy!!! I can not feel sorry for her as she knew about our affair for years and did nothing. Actually the only reason I'm in this is because I couldn't imagine someone taking their spouse back after all those D days. So no.... No Empathy !! But I feel sorry for abused animals who know no better. Your arrogence is amazing I pray there was no children involved just because some one stays in a bad relashionship dose not make the abusers any better but nice attempt to take any guilt off of yourself some men and women for that matter are good liers I only feel for the wife at this point you are just reaping what you have sown.. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Hey OP, I understand that it is hard to see all perspectives objectively and rationally when involved in an A. The only way to see all sides clearly is to change your situation. Sooooo, have you considered You changing your situation? Not the married man or His Wife but You who are not married to the married man.?.?. Good luck in this unlucky situation. CiH* 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Lol no....... I do know that for sure by the mere fact she's bothering me. Obvious. Why do you think she is bothering you? Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Why do you think she is bothering you? Totally what I asked a page ago.... Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie1231 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 You say she hasn't done anything about the affair since she found out, but clearly she has if she's still married to the guy. It isn't easy to work on a marriage once one partner has cheated - that takes way more work than walking away from a marriage. And I can guarantee that since she has chosen to work on her marriage, the husband isn't telling the wife that he gives a damn about you. He's definitely telling her things like it was all physical, you're obsessed with him, etc to make him look like he isn't the bad guy. No woman is going to stay married to a guy who says - yeah I had an affair with this awesome woman and I think I love her and want to build a relationship ship with her. He's obviously told his wife that he's finished with you because he knows he's ok with or without you. He's staying with the wife because that's what he truly wants, and she's trying to make it work because she cares about him for some reason. If you've seen her drive by your house or something, it's probably because she (correctly) suspects that her husband is a liar and wants to see if he's with you. You can't blame her for not trusting the guy, he's cheated in the past and has more than likely promised he won't again and she wants to make sure he's telling the truth. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
TigerLilly78 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 If you've seen her drive by your house or something, it's probably because she (correctly) suspects that her husband is a liar and wants to see if he's with you. You can't blame her for not trusting the guy, he's cheated in the past and has more than likely promised he won't again and she wants to make sure he's telling the truth. Exactly!..The entire "she could have left" thing is weak at best cause you could have stopped the affair so if shes not "worthy" of sympathy you op are not ether..I dont think op is being "stalked" I think the wife wants to make sure her husband isn't seeing this women anymore..sadely it sounds like she is so again I dont think shes got much room to talk..its like robbing a bank and then complaining when the cops chase you...lol 5 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Totally what I asked a page ago.... Must've missed that, sorry. OP If the wife is trying to intimidate you, then perhaps she feels she has every right to do that, as you are attempting to steal her husband. If he was truly being a "stone" then surely she would be walking away. As it is, he hasn't left, he is sticking by her, and that is spurring her on to try to oust you finally from her marriage. Perhaps the only stone here is the one he crawled from under... For God's sake woman wake up! HE is not worth it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mal78 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Do you think she's going to confront me? Maybe she's waiting to catch me alone. I won't go to the police as she's not committed a crime. I am sure she's crazy doing this.. I think she cannot get anywhere with Mm as he's turned to stone so she's trying to get somewhere by following me. Sounds like intimidation, I doubt she will confront you. It sounds like your MM is content stringing you both along and somehow you feels she (BS) is more "had" than you. Now D-day has occurred and he continues to remain in the marriage, yet you still hang around. Why torture yourself? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Must've missed that, sorry. OP If the wife is trying to intimidate you, then perhaps she feels she has every right to do that, as you are attempting to steal her husband. If he was truly being a "stone" then surely she would be walking away. As it is, he hasn't left, he is sticking by her, and that is spurring her on to try to oust you finally from her marriage. Perhaps the only stone here is the one he crawled from under... For God's sake woman wake up! HE is not worth it. Oh no elaine. I think more people should be asking questions that cause her to look inward to/herself and her actions. This IS about Her ultimately, and what She Can Do to get out/away from what she describes as a VERY unhealthy and potentially violent situation with a Married Man's Wife* Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 OP what is it that you want the BW to do? If she wants her marriage and her husband is still at home and he is no longer in an affair with you then it looks like whatever she is doing is working out in her favor. Why should she do anything different? Also how exactly is she stalking you and in your face? Do you mean that you are just seeing her around town or is she actually stalking you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
truncated Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 OP, What you write here makes you sound like you aren't seeing the situation for what it really is. After all, if his wife is a poor cow (vache) then so are you, except you are perhaps more like a cocky rooster, crowing and puffing out your chest as big as you can becuase you know that, at the end up the day, you're both going to end up in this man's stewpot. I feel really sorry for you that the best you feel you can get is someone who ttreats you like this, and it must be incredibly painful to know wthat he still won;t choose you. The way you write shows your pain,though you try and cover it up with a cocky atitude. If he really cared about you, how could he ask you to suffer like this for seven years? No, I'm not a BS, but you aren't the first person to have stood where you are, nor will you be the last. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
gettingstronger Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 You have a lot of anger and are lashing out- both BS and WS are responding to you in a similar way- I am wondering if this anger is coming out in other parts of your life and how that is effecting your other relationships- after 7 years I would imaging you are quite frustrated and are perhaps seeing how much you have given up- think about how you are processing it and what damage it is doing to you and those around you- 2 Link to post Share on other sites
eye of the storm Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 I am an OW And I was a BS. And the female that ran with my ExH got everything she deserved. Yes I went after her and made sure the entire town knew what she was. So, if my MM's BS ever comes to my state and does the same thing to me....Well, I will have some mighty bitter medicine to swallow. But I, unlike you, admit I planted this field. And when the harvest comes, I have nobody to blame but myself. Stop worrying about her and why she takes him back. That is none of your business. Worry about why you stay with a man that keeps doing the work necessary to stay with her and not you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 (edited) Do you think she's going to confront me? Maybe she's waiting to catch me alone. I won't go to the police as she's not committed a crime. I am sure she's crazy doing this.. I think she cannot get anywhere with Mm as he's turned to stone so she's trying to get somewhere by following me. So her husband is gas lighting her, lying to her and she knows but he's denying it. Of course she's reacting, she wants to know the truth. Some prize your MM is. Real sweet and nice to do this to his wife and continue to have the affair right under her nose. You should have some compassion for her. It's awful what he's doing to her. Let me ask you, why didn't HE leave and file for divorce after the Dday? Yet he stayed...That says a lot. Edited February 1, 2015 by whichwayisup 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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