MuddyRock Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 I think it's obvious why the MM hasn't chosen the OP as anything other then an easy lay. Who would choose someone this flawed for anything else? The wife is exceedingly good to stay with him as it is much harder to leave. She must be religious or why else would she. Link to post Share on other sites
MuddyFootprints Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 These kinds of relationships are built on drama. How much of a role are you playing? How much are you feeding into the perpetuation of this farce? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
howcouldInotknow Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 To a lot of the women here saying what does she expect BS to do? Any grown woman with an ounce of pride would never lower herself to stalk an OW. OP if I were you I'd go to the law and get a restraining order. Regardless of the situation you will not be denied the restraining order. There was a post where someone discussed the BS slashing tires, and other acts of violence including breaking a jaw. In that case she needs to get a lawyer and sue the BS and be compensated. Maybe things like that fly in other states. My cousins was seeing a man and his wife found out she came to my cousins house, damaged her car and physically attacked her ( which BS ended up getting an ass whooping). My cousin pressed charges and she was convicted on assault, stalking, trespassing and several other charges. She was given 3 months in jail, 2 years probation, she has lost her medical license. My cousin also filed a lawsuit which they settled just last week. Being cheated on and angry is no excuse to break the law. I live in NYC so laws may be a little different. Don't confront her or anything but be prepared to defend yourself should she attack. Stay safe. One last thing if MM has chosen to stay in his marriage cut him off but don't deal with the nonsense with his wife. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean89 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 No judge would grant a restraining order! On what grounds? Cause a wife was driving her car on the same street as someone else. This is laughable yet so sad that people really believe this is what happens. If you play with fire, you will get burned. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
adna89 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 To a lot of the women here saying what does she expect BS to do? Any grown woman with an ounce of pride would never lower herself to stalk an OW. OP if I were you I'd go to the law and get a restraining order. Regardless of the situation you will not be denied the restraining order. There was a post where someone discussed the BS slashing tires, and other acts of violence including breaking a jaw. In that case she needs to get a lawyer and sue the BS and be compensated. Maybe things like that fly in other states. My cousins was seeing a man and his wife found out she came to my cousins house, damaged her car and physically attacked her ( which BS ended up getting an ass whooping). My cousin pressed charges and she was convicted on assault, stalking, trespassing and several other charges. She was given 3 months in jail, 2 years probation, she has lost her medical license. My cousin also filed a lawsuit which they settled just last week. Being cheated on and angry is no excuse to break the law. I live in NYC so laws may be a little different. Don't confront her or anything but be prepared to defend yourself should she attack. Stay safe. One last thing if MM has chosen to stay in his marriage cut him off but don't deal with the nonsense with his wife. So did your cousin end up with the married man,what happened? just interested in that case if its ok Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 (edited) Any grown woman with an ounce of pride would never lower herself to stalk an OW. You being serious with this statement? OP if I were you I'd go to the law and get a restraining order. Regardless of the situation you will not be denied the restraining order. "Hi officer, I'd like to file an RO against the wife of the MM I've been having an affair with. She's stalking me, following me, watching me.... Oh, she thinks the affair is over but it's still on going. No she hasn't said anything to me, no she hasn't threatened me...I just hate that she is invading my personal space and watching me....." IF she goes to her local cop station and tries to file an RO, they will laugh her out of the station. Now if the BS harms her, threatens her, damages her property of course she can file an RO, but in this situation it isn't the case. One last thing if MM has chosen to stay in his marriage cut him off but don't deal with the nonsense with his wife. She doesn't want to cut him off, she's very invested and the affair is still on going. MM has lied to his wife and told her the A was over. LIE. Edited February 1, 2015 by whichwayisup 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 she probably is looking to catch her H. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
goodyblue Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 No judge would grant a restraining order! On what grounds? Cause a wife was driving her car on the same street as someone else. This is laughable yet so sad that people really believe this is what happens. If you play with fire, you will get burned. I have to agree. Anyone can file for a protective order, and if embellished enough, a judge may sign it temporarily to be on the safe side until a court date could be set, but once you get into court, it would be tossed. Besides, get over it already, dump the guy (who is staying with the wife) and move on. As soon as you do, BS will move on as well and you won't have to worry about it. Good luck!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jesuischarlie Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 You being serious with this statement? "Hi officer, I'd like to file an RO against the wife of the MM I've been having an affair with. She's stalking me, following me, watching me.... Oh, she thinks the affair is over but it's still on going. No she hasn't said anything to me, no she hasn't threatened me...I just hate that she is invading my personal space and watching me....." IF she goes to her local cop station and tries to file an RO, they will laugh her out of the station. Now if the BS harms her, threatens her, damages her property of course she can file an RO, but in this situation it isn't the case. She doesn't want to cut him off, she's very invested and the affair is still on going. MM has lied to his wife and told her the A was over. LIE. I'm not having an affair anymore. We are just talking at a prearranged meeting. He's not happy but I can't get him to tell her that. I reckon she knows he's not happy and is making sure I know she's around. I did have two tyres deflated last year. Not sure who. Thing is, he's an empty shell. She's got a ghost of a spouse back through guilt tripping him with the family. But I do not think she knows I'm meeting him. She's done other stuff which I really don't want to discuss but not violence. If she stops me... What do I do? Link to post Share on other sites
TigerLilly78 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 No judge would grant a restraining order! On what grounds? Cause a wife was driving her car on the same street as someone else. This is laughable yet so sad that people really believe this is what happens. If you play with fire, you will get burned. Exactly unless she openly performs an act of violence agenst the OW I dont believe they will grant one just because her presence makes the OW feel a little "uncomfey" to bad I bet the entire affair made the wife feel uncomfortable for years I thought there use to be laws agenst adultery tho? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
purplesorrow Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 I'm not having an affair anymore. We are just talking at a prearranged meeting. He's not happy but I can't get him to tell her that. I reckon she knows he's not happy and is making sure I know she's around. I did have two tyres deflated last year. Not sure who. Thing is, he's an empty shell. She's got a ghost of a spouse back through guilt tripping him with the family. But I do not think she knows I'm meeting him. She's done other stuff which I really don't want to discuss but not violence. If she stops me... What do I do? Call the police and then run very fast. What do you even think she wants? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jesuischarlie Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 To a lot of the women here saying what does she expect BS to do? Any grown woman with an ounce of pride would never lower herself to stalk an OW. OP if I were you I'd go to the law and get a restraining order. Regardless of the situation you will not be denied the restraining order. There was a post where someone discussed the BS slashing tires, and other acts of violence including breaking a jaw. In that case she needs to get a lawyer and sue the BS and be compensated. Maybe things like that fly in other states. My cousins was seeing a man and his wife found out she came to my cousins house, damaged her car and physically attacked her ( which BS ended up getting an ass whooping). My cousin pressed charges and she was convicted on assault, stalking, trespassing and several other charges. She was given 3 months in jail, 2 years probation, she has lost her medical license. My cousin also filed a lawsuit which they settled just last week. Being cheated on and angry is no excuse to break the law. I live in NYC so laws may be a little different. Don't confront her or anything but be prepared to defend yourself should she attack. Stay safe. One last thing if MM has chosen to stay in his marriage cut him off but don't deal with the nonsense with his wife. Thanks but it's not new York here. Bit small town. No she's definitely bugging me on purpose as she parks near or behind me. It's happening about twice a day. Should I put something in the car? Hairspray perhaps. I'm not having an affair but he still loves me and it's very hard for me too. )-: and I am in pain. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 I'm not having an affair anymore. We are just talking at a prearranged meeting. He's not happy but I can't get him to tell her that. I reckon she knows he's not happy and is making sure I know she's around. I did have two tyres deflated last year. Not sure who. Thing is, he's an empty shell. She's got a ghost of a spouse back through guilt tripping him with the family. But I do not think she knows I'm meeting him. She's done other stuff which I really don't want to discuss but not violence. If she stops me... What do I do? He tells you he is unhappy, because he is hardly likely to tell you otherwise, is he? He probably is a bit unhappy because his "have cake and eat it" little scenario has been blown apart... "If she stops me..." What do you mean? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jesuischarlie Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 Exactly unless she openly performs an act of violence agenst the OW I dont believe they will grant one just because her presence makes the OW feel a little "uncomfey" to bad I bet the entire affair made the wife feel uncomfortable for years I thought there use to be laws agenst adultery tho? Hey they don't burn witches anymore either... Shock !! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jesuischarlie Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 He tells you he is unhappy, because he is hardly likely to tell you otherwise, is he? He probably is a bit unhappy because his "have cake and eat it" little scenario has been blown apart... "If she stops me..." What do you mean? No obviously he's unhappy. I don't just take words. He's a shadow. I think she may want me to confront her or vice versa Link to post Share on other sites
TigerLilly78 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Thanks but it's not new York here. Bit small town. No she's definitely bugging me on purpose as she parks near or behind me. It's happening about twice a day. Should I put something in the car? Hairspray perhaps. I'm not having an affair but he still loves me and it's very hard for me too. )-: and I am in pain. I dont get it are you saying you want to put hair spray in HER car? I think you should stop seeing her husband and obsessing on were the women parks her car.. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 If she stops me... What do I do? "Excuse me," and walk away without feeding the drama. You can not control her any more than she can control you. She wants you to stop doing something, and you want her to stop doing something. The BS and AP often have so much in common in this way (trying to win the loyalty of a man who will not be loyal to either), you'd think you'd have empathy for each other. It's middle school rules: don't let it bother you. Rise above the WHOLE situation. Leave the two of them to their drama and their angst. This man is NOT worth your dignity. But as long as you continue to see him and communicate with him, own your part. You've inserted yourself into her sacred space for years, and she has resented it. Now she's inserting herself into yours. 10 Link to post Share on other sites
TigerLilly78 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 No obviously he's unhappy. I don't just take words. He's a shadow. I think she may want me to confront her or vice versa Of course he is its now more complicated to have his family and his piece of azz on the side sorry but its true men like this are self severing thats all..you should leave the women alone dont cause anymore needless dramas.. Link to post Share on other sites
truncated Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Sorry, but I can't take your word to mean anything when it comes to his BS. You obviously hate her ( caling her a "poor cow" when you're just as bad, or worse?) but you expect people to take your analysis of her at face value? You're obviously jealous, and you are letting that cloud your judgement. It sounds like both you and this mm thrive on the drama of the situation. He, the poor, widdle mm who is trapped by the big, bad evil wifey who has that ball and chain wrapped so tightly around his leg there's no way he can run, and you, the gorgeous, intelligent, strong knight in shining armour ( pun intended) ow who will be there for her man no matter what. It's a drama worthy of a bad off broadway play or even worse, a sappy disney movie. You say you live in a small town, he's only with his wife because he's an "empty shell" and can't risk leaving his marriage because it will hurt his family, she knows about the affair and is now comming after you,add another of the endless refrains of " he loves me but has to keep his sham of a marraige ging because he loves his family sooo much", yet he and you still meet up, just now it's "as friends", which puts his marriage at an extremely high risk of implodng, should she find out. You both live in a small town where there is a high likelyhood of someone seeing you together and gossip getting back to her that you're still seeing each other. Seriously, this whole thing comes across as some sort of drama that you and the mm have built of to give your romance a desperate edge. A whole Disney star crossed lovers agaianst the world and the big bad ogre type of thing. The alternative is that you are either so deluded by him or you are dumb enough to beleive his stories that you are falling for them. I don't think you are dumb, and it doesn't even sound like you are head over heels for him. You just wnat what you can't have and you're getting off on the drama of the whole thing. If you really are nervous, go to the police. tell this mm wha is going on and tell him to make her stop. Go to her family and let them know what she's doing, go to his family, it's a smal town, so I expect you know some of their friends- maybe they can help. I'm not being facetious, as if you are worried about her actions, you are not doing much to stop them. The first thing would be to stop seeing him, and you dont sem to be able to do that. Following one of the above suggetsions would for better or worse, blow the whole thing out of the water, and one way or another, the situation would resolve itself. I have a feeling you won't do that, as you seem to enjoy thinsg being the way they are. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
TigerLilly78 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 (edited) Hey they don't burn witches anymore either... Shock !! Least the witches were genuinely innocent more then I can say for you.. http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2014/04/17/anti-adultery-laws-new-hampshire/7780563/ Edit to add looks like they do have laws go figure...lol Edited February 1, 2015 by TigerLilly78 1 Link to post Share on other sites
howcouldInotknow Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 You being serious with this statement? "Hi officer, I'd like to file an RO against the wife of the MM I've been having an affair with. She's stalking me, following me, watching me.... Oh, she thinks the affair is over but it's still on going. No she hasn't said anything to me, no she hasn't threatened me...I just hate that she is invading my personal space and watching me....." IF she goes to her local cop station and tries to file an RO, they will laugh her out of the station. Now if the BS harms her, threatens her, damages her property of course she can file an RO, but in this situation it isn't the case. She doesn't want to cut him off, she's very invested and the affair is still on going. MM has lied to his wife and told her the A was over. LIE. I am very serious. BS is a grown woman following another woman around. She should probably invest that time into following her husband who is cheating. Let's say OP decided to move on with her life there will probably another OW and I guess it's healthy and normal to follow her too. If she feels she is being stalked police will NOT laugh her out of the station. How many of these so called love triangles have ended badly? Countless. They will listen to her take a statement and if the stalking escalates she should be able to go back with the previous statement on record and the restraining order is usually granted. To the person who asked if my cousin stayed with married man she dumped him, he divorced his wife and his wife is now trying to rebuild her life which is hard after losing her license. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 I dont get it are you saying you want to put hair spray in HER car? I think you should stop seeing her husband and obsessing on were the women parks her car.. I think she is asking if she should arm herself with a can of hairspray in her car in case the BS attacks her. But I could be wrong here. Link to post Share on other sites
TigerLilly78 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 I think she is asking if she should arm herself with a can of hairspray in her car in case the BS attacks her. But I could be wrong here. Ahh its early I need more coffee thanks for the clarification..lol I dont think the wife is going to attack the OW unless its provoked at this point if she was she prob would have done it by now no? I bet the MM is orchestrating all this drama and laughing behind both their backs honestly its a no win for anyone unless they enjoy drama..I never got the entire OW MM thing its such a cake eater situation and I just dont get how any women OW or BS would lower herself to accept being toyed with like this.. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
AlwaysGrowing Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 If you live in a small town, wouldn't it be MORE likely that the BS would be driving the same roads, parking in the same area than if you lived in a city? I agree with those posters that say it will be unlikely that a restraining order would be issued....it isn't as easy as some seem to think it is. "Feelings" are not evidence of a crime. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 You say your A is over, but you're still in contact with him. How is she to know that the A is over? She knows about the contact and probably knows you two are going to meet up (to talk or whatever). What do you do if she walks towards you? Stay calm. Apologize for your part in the affair. Do tell her that things are over and you will stay away from her husband. My guess is, she's trying to see if you two meet up and wants to catch you two together. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts