bathtub-row Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 And again today she was parked at a prime place where we met alot where she can see cars coming easily. She also went into my friends shop. My friend said she'd never sen her before. Never before in 7 years. If she's looking for me... What for ? Or is she looking for him? But why park near my car as the other day? I think she's sending a very clear signal -- she's watching you to see if you meet up with her husband. And she's not being very secretive about it. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Sub Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 And again today she was parked at a prime place where we met alot where she can see cars coming easily. She also went into my friends shop. My friend said she'd never sen her before. Never before in 7 years. If she's looking for me... What for ? If your friend had never seen her before, how did he/she know it was the BS? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I think she's just trying to see if your meeting up with her H. Why not try going out on some dates and let her see you looking happy with a man who is not her husband. I'm sure she'll soon back off. Right now she sees you as a threat to her marriage. She wants to believe her H us still not seeing you. Im sure when she sees you've moved on, she'll stop . Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
goodyblue Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 (edited) No, it was actually in jest, hence the smiley. Jesuischarlie does seem to know quite a lot about the BSs movements, though. Perhaps she just needs to let it go, relax and heal, rather than trying to second guess the BSs motives, whilst she is in town. If the BS was parking in her road, outside her apartment/house at all hours of the day and night, then there would be more concern. I do agree to an extent, sometimes it is not easy, esp if she has been fed a line of malarkey by MM. I do understand the BS making her presence known, she wants it to stop. The fact is tho, if MM wants to see OW he will find a way if OW is amenable. I don't know... if I was with someone and they cheated I would not do those sorts of things. I would walk away so I can't really judge either woman but I do know some of the responses in this forum are notoriously harsh and are not designed to help but to use certain people as a whipping boy. OP is here for help, not BS, so we should give it as best we can without rancor. Edited February 2, 2015 by goodyblue Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 OP, instead of obsessing about her the next time you see her car next to yours just wait for her and ask her if she's following you and if she wants to talk. Stop being such a coward and confront her to put your mind at rest. Link to post Share on other sites
goodyblue Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 OP, instead of obsessing about her the next time you see her car next to yours just wait for her and ask her if she's following you and if she wants to talk. Stop being such a coward and confront her to put your mind at rest. Don't do this. Just stay away from her if possible. You don't want a showdown in the street of small-town USA. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CALOVELY Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I cannot think of anything less sexy than a man who acts like he is a victim after he blows up his families lives and takes zero responsibility for his actions. Is their such a shortage of datable men in your area that this married man-child is seen as a catch? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I do understand the BS making her presence known, she wants it to stop. The fact is tho, if MM wants to see OW he will find a way if OW is amenable. And the bold and underlined part speaks volumes. Just sayin' The truth is the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
goodyblue Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 (edited) And the bold and underlined part speaks volumes. Just sayin' The truth is the truth. I love it when people say Just sayin,because they are not JUST doing anything. Face it, MM could cheat with anyone. HE is the one who blew up his family. BS feels she cannot control her husband so is trying to intimidate OW. OW is not the problem in her marriage, her husband is. Edited February 2, 2015 by goodyblue Link to post Share on other sites
CALOVELY Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I love it when people say Just sayin,because they are not JUST doing anything. Face it, MM could cheat with anyone. HE is the one who blew up his family. BS feels she cannot control her husband so is trying to intimidate OW. OW is not the problem in her marriage, her husband is. I agree with some of your points but it is ridiculous for an OW to think a BW should take the high road. The OP spent 7 years being an interloper in the marriage and causing tremendous pain. The wife is now in the anger phase and lashing out. If OP wants this all to end, the onus is on her to do so, which she has not done. Instead, she is vitriolic that the BW would do anything other than make her a bundt cake and greet her with a smile. Her continued communication with MM is another punch in the eye to BW and I suspect that is why she stays in contact. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lurkeraspect Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I agree with some of your points but it is ridiculous for an OW to think a BW should take the high road. The OP spent 7 years being an interloper in the marriage and causing tremendous pain. The wife is now in the anger phase and lashing out. If OP wants this all to end, the onus is on her to do so, which she has not done. Instead, she is vitriolic that the BW would do anything other than make her a bundt cake and greet her with a smile. Her continued communication with MM is another punch in the eye to BW and I suspect that is why she stays in contact. See, that's what I disagree with. The BS isn't slashing tires, confronting the OP, she's not been physical or "lashing out" at all. She's parked her car in one of the OPs prime make out spots (small town/7 years/many parking lots?) and has frequented a shop (shocking) that she's apparently never gone to before. This is all a stretch and not stalking. And even if the BS is doing all the things the OP has mentioned, so what. There has been no crime here. Likely just paranoia. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
CALOVELY Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 See, that's what I disagree with. The BS isn't slashing tires, confronting the OP, she's not been physical or "lashing out" at all. She's parked her car in one of the OPs prime make out spots (small town/7 years/many parking lots?) and has frequented a shop (shocking) that she's apparently never gone to before. This is all a stretch and not stalking. And even if the BS is doing all the things the OP has mentioned, so what. There has been no crime here. Likely just paranoia. True. There could also be a tremendous amount of projection by OP at work here. Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 OW is not the problem in her marriage I agree with this. The OW's problem is her own lack of respect for boundaries and others' relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I love it when people say Just sayin,HE is the one who blew up his family. BS feels she cannot control her husband so is trying to intimidate OW. OW is not the problem in her marriage, her husband is. To a degree I agree with the fact that he blew up his marriage, but when you engage in an affair with a married person, you have to be prepared for the backlash. Some BSs focus on their WS, others go for the AP, because they feel that person on addition to their cheating partner had no respect for the marriage. They also understandably get annoyed if they contracted stds from their husband's affair, so there could be a whole heap of reasons she's piss** off. YOU maintaining contact will be infuriating her. Steer clear and I was going to say don't feel intimidated, but I guess because you know you've done wrong here, you will feel that way. I can't see a happy ending here and am perplexed why you continue contact knowing the hurt you are going through. Surely you don't want a man who has lied to his wife for 7 years. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
goodyblue Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I agree with some of your points but it is ridiculous for an OW to think a BW should take the high road. The OP spent 7 years being an interloper in the marriage and causing tremendous pain. The wife is now in the anger phase and lashing out. If OP wants this all to end, the onus is on her to do so, which she has not done. Instead, she is vitriolic that the BW would do anything other than make her a bundt cake and greet her with a smile. Her continued communication with MM is another punch in the eye to BW and I suspect that is why she stays in contact. I.am not defending OW. Simply stating that this would not be an issue at all if the husband ceased contact. He is the one betrsying, continuing a relationship and hurting the BS. It is on him. Frankly I think they should both dump his azz 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I personally think if you play with fire your bound to get burned. If OP keeps herself involved with the MM in any way shape or form then she gets what ever is coming to her. I never understand why someone wont just go find a person that loves only them. OP the sooner you love yourself the sooner you will set yourself free from this horrible situation. Clay 5 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Frankly I think they should both dump his azz So do I, he is a creep. Seven years of constant lying to two women... Ugh! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CALOVELY Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I.am not defending OW. Simply stating that this would not be an issue at all if the husband ceased contact. He is the one betrsying, continuing a relationship and hurting the BS. It is on him. Frankly I think they should both dump his azz OP is responsible for her actions and the MM is responsible for his. Both could end contact at any time but neither have. OP is as much responsible for the betrayal and hurting as the MM is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CALOVELY Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 So do I, he is a creep. Seven years of constant lying to two women... Ugh! Not to mention his blaming his wife for "forcing" him to stay, as if he is chained to a radiator. Why this guy has two women fighting over him is absolutely beyond me. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
goodyblue Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 OP is responsible for her actions and the MM is responsible for his. Both could end contact at any time but neither have. OP is as much responsible for the betrayal and hurting as the MM is. I am not disputing that. What I am saying is it would be wise to take it up with her husband and make him stop rather than try and control a third party. At this point OP should be out of the picture, but she and MM are still in contact. ONLY MM and BS can clean up their mess of a marriage. I certainly would not want a husband who was with me simply because his lover dumped him. I would be more inclined to try to fix things if my husband went voluntary NC. As it is, BS will still feel second, which sucks. That is on MM and MM alone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
goodyblue Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Not to mention his blaming his wife for "forcing" him to stay, as if he is chained to a radiator. Why this guy has two women fighting over him is absolutely beyond me. Completely agree. Link to post Share on other sites
TigerLilly78 Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 (edited) Like I keep saying.... i'm not having an affair anymore... Can You read? I have not 'Not left her alone' " she's pursuing me. Not me pursuing her. Got it??? Your still seeing this women's husband you are clearly comfortable with drama and lieing so why are you two still "getting together" playing checkers ha? you might be able to lie to his wife and to yourself when it comes to the fact that this man "loves you" and is just so shattered and empty! lol.. But others including myself here see threw it sorry to burst your bubble..at the very least your still haveing a emotional affair wth another womens husband so dont go patting yourself on the back if things were really over there would be zero contact.. You talk absolute rubbish as you have no concept of reality. Nor can you take anything in. Please disappear Sorry but you brought this to this public message board so now its public *gasp shock* and you might not like all the responses you get image that..I would know when a man was just using me for a easy lay while he goes home to his real partner while you clearly cannot see that "reality" so I guess im ahead of the curve after all ha.. Edited February 2, 2015 by TigerLilly78 Link to post Share on other sites
howcouldInotknow Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I've said this before and I will say again anger runs rampant on this board. There are many bitter angry souls on both sides of the fence here. You will get very little useful advice from some people here. Just insult dressed as tough love. As some people are unable to take the emotion of their own situation out of your request for help. Just take everything in stride. Keep the info that will be helpful and ignore the rest. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Sub Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Take pictures with your phone camera that can date and time when she is following you, videos if you can. Catch any childish behavior on her part on film or with pictures, it will help later show her character, if you end up in court. Document everything. Write down when she follows you, what she does and says, time and date it. Yes. Take a lot of photos of her. Document her public behavior. Then show it all to the police, tell them you think she's stalking you, and see how that goes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TigerLilly78 Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Not to mention his blaming his wife for "forcing" him to stay, as if he is chained to a radiator. Why this guy has two women fighting over him is absolutely beyond me. Men like this are master manipulators and women like the OP for what ever reason seam to lap it up and believe the lies when it reality the jokes on them this OPs "man" played for her seven years it would almost be laughable if it wasn't so sad that some women will allow themselves to be treated so poorly. The wife is the wife and she has a solid stake in things from a legal standpoint but these OW are as replaceable as yesterdays newspaper to these so called "men". I feel a tiny bit sorry for the OP in a way that she clearly cannot see how this man has wronged her and the wife for so long nether of them really deserve it. But in the end as the OP herself said how bad can one feel for some one in this case the OP herself when one allows themselves to be used for so long.. Link to post Share on other sites
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