I used to call you my best friend, now we're just strangers

[Mart332]

So I was best friends with this girl since middle school, we lost touch for a bit during high school then got into contact again. When then developed a like for one another, we would talk about us being together and traveling and having a family one day and ge married. Flash forward 5 years later I com to find out that she's been stringing me along, she recently got into a new relationship and wrote me a letter saying how her boyfriend is joined the army and how he'll be leaving soon and hopes that I stay by her side cause she doesn't want to go through it alone. I burned the letter after I found out she was stringing me along, then I deleted her from all social media. After thinking about it, it was me who got jealous, I would like to reach out to her but then I don't for the sole fact that she only talks to me when shes bored and she would rarely put effort into our friendship, I think I should just reach out to her to let her know I'm around and here for her but that's it, that doesn't mean we're going to be friends cause it didn't work out the first time I doubt it'd work a second time around. Should I reach out to her?

[preraph]

Just write her that her news having a new man hit you hard but that you send your best wishes for her happiness. But it's probably easier not to stay in contact since you're carrying a torch for her. Make yourself go out with friends and meet new people. Don't sit around and stew about the situation.

[evanescentworld]

So I was best friends with this girl since middle school, we lost touch for a bit during high school then got into contact again. When then developed a like for one another, we would talk about us being together and traveling and having a family one day and ge married.

 

How old were you here...? Young teens, maybe?

 

Yeah, fantasies, infatuations and pie-in-the-sky dreams are very often to the fore at that age.

 

Here's the thing: to her, it was fun, but fantasy....

 

 

Flash forward 5 years later I com to find out that she's been stringing me along,

No she wasn't, she just grew up a bit...

 

she recently got into a new relationship and wrote me a letter saying how her boyfriend is joined the army and how he'll be leaving soon and hopes that I stay by her side cause she doesn't want to go through it alone.

Now see, that's nice; she counted on you as a long-term buddy, to be her help...

 

I burned the letter after I found out she was stringing me along, then I deleted her from all social media.

That was kind of impulsive and immature, but I get you get that....

 

After thinking about it, it was me who got jealous, I would like to reach out to her but then I don't for the sole fact that she only talks to me when shes bored and she would rarely put effort into our friendship,

 

No.

And here I think we see the difference.

 

She's happy to talk to you as a purely platonic buddy.

Girls can do this, they're much better than guys, at doing this.

Guys always have a motive, a hidden agenda.

In brief? They want - or expect - a little bit more....

 

I think I should just reach out to her to let her know I'm around and here for her but that's it, that doesn't mean we're going to be friends cause it didn't work out the first time I doubt it'd work a second time around. Should I reach out to her?

Be brutally honest now - is this more in your head, than hers?

 

Which, out of the two of you, saw this in a far more romantic light?

[privategal]

I think you were probably strung along a bit or maybe friend zoned along the way since u never seemed to make a real move...either way, friendship is impossible when feelings are involved. Also why the letter from her, not phone or email? Tells me friendship maybe wasn't as close, letters are polite updates from distant friends, family...Stay nc I say...