JackJackxD Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 The background story is that I was dumped out of a 2.5 years relationship, it has been 4 months since my break-up. I have not yet fully healed from the relationship, and it still upsets me when I see my Ex/thinks about her. I recently just noticed some changes in my personality, and was wondering if this happened to anyone else who just had a break-up. So I was watching some anime (yes I am a bit of an anime fan ), and it got to this really sad part where this woman started regretting how she treated her children badly when she is in her after-life. My eyes started tearing up and I felt so emotional that I actually broke down in tears. This has never happened to me before! I was the type of guy who rarely cried, I mean it! I did not even cry when my granddad past away a few years ago. When my mother would cry from watching TV dramas, I would simply say "It is only a show". I am actually in shock right now that I cried, and I feel so un-masculine! (if that is a word). There are other things that has changed too. For example, I've became so carefree when it comes to money. I buy whatever I want now, and I do not care about the prices like I used to. Also I seem to make a lot less jokes now when I talk with friends. Instead I would bring up some slightly more serious topics rather than making them laugh all the time. It feels like I am me, but at the same time I am not me. Grr this is so strange, did this happen to anyone here too? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 It sounds to me like you are growing and finding out more about yourself and your feelings. Thats a good thing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JackJackxD Posted January 31, 2015 Author Share Posted January 31, 2015 It sounds to me like you are growing and finding out more about yourself and your feelings. Thats a good thing. I really hope that this would be just a phase, because it feels so strange. I can't imagine myself tearing up over a TV show when someone else is around, it just seems so...unattractive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 I really hope that this would be just a phase, because it feels so strange. I can't imagine myself tearing up over a TV show when someone else is around, it just seems so...unattractive. Just make sure that you're peeling onions when you get to the sad part. But seriously, that kind of response is part of a personal growth phenomena called 'Heart Expansion.' It is a sign that you are developing greater empathy and compassion towards others and yourself. You'll get used to it, and will be able to hold back the tears when you want to. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 I think I've become very "matter of fact"post BU. I feel that I'm not as romantic as I used to be. I recall honestly being a hopeless romantic always seeking love. And yes at one point I became extremely jaded and bitter about the whole concept but that's no longer. So I suppose that's how I've changed post BU. Link to post Share on other sites
bigtrouble Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 The background story is that I was dumped out of a 2.5 years relationship, it has been 4 months since my break-up. I have not yet fully healed from the relationship, and it still upsets me when I see my Ex/thinks about her. I recently just noticed some changes in my personality, and was wondering if this happened to anyone else who just had a break-up. So I was watching some anime (yes I am a bit of an anime fan ), and it got to this really sad part where this woman started regretting how she treated her children badly when she is in her after-life. My eyes started tearing up and I felt so emotional that I actually broke down in tears. This has never happened to me before! I was the type of guy who rarely cried, I mean it! I did not even cry when my granddad past away a few years ago. When my mother would cry from watching TV dramas, I would simply say "It is only a show". I am actually in shock right now that I cried, and I feel so un-masculine! (if that is a word). There are other things that has changed too. For example, I've became so carefree when it comes to money. I buy whatever I want now, and I do not care about the prices like I used to. Also I seem to make a lot less jokes now when I talk with friends. Instead I would bring up some slightly more serious topics rather than making them laugh all the time. It feels like I am me, but at the same time I am not me. Grr this is so strange, did this happen to anyone here too? It happens... I did change a bit... I tend to spend... but mostly on food... Maybe its stress eating... I don't know... I also don't watch movies or series... I hate it when some relationship scenes come up... I need a breath of fresh air... I find some topics senseless coz I can't find the humor in it... Link to post Share on other sites
Author JackJackxD Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 I hate it when some relationship scenes come up... Oh yes I absolutely hate that too! It would just remind me of my Ex and bring up some bittersweet memories. One more thing that I hate is when my friend who are in relationships show me pictures of them and their bf/gf. It is so difficult pretending you give a s***. Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 I'm pretty much a d*ick for a few months..Or,maybe I always am? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Jimmyjackson Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 The background story is that I was dumped out of a 2.5 years relationship, it has been 4 months since my break-up. I have not yet fully healed from the relationship, and it still upsets me when I see my Ex/thinks about her. I recently just noticed some changes in my personality, and was wondering if this happened to anyone else who just had a break-up. So I was watching some anime (yes I am a bit of an anime fan ), and it got to this really sad part where this woman started regretting how she treated her children badly when she is in her after-life. My eyes started tearing up and I felt so emotional that I actually broke down in tears. This has never happened to me before! I was the type of guy who rarely cried, I mean it! I did not even cry when my granddad past away a few years ago. When my mother would cry from watching TV dramas, I would simply say "It is only a show". I am actually in shock right now that I cried, and I feel so un-masculine! (if that is a word). There are other things that has changed too. For example, I've became so carefree when it comes to money. I buy whatever I want now, and I do not care about the prices like I used to. Also I seem to make a lot less jokes now when I talk with friends. Instead I would bring up some slightly more serious topics rather than making them laugh all the time. It feels like I am me, but at the same time I am not me. Grr this is so strange, did this happen to anyone here too? I'm 5 months post break up so not too far away. I don't cry either, lost loved ones and just mourned it in different ways. I cried a couple of times in the first month or two but haven't since. I'm the opposite with money, I have started saving and I'm now addicted to saving money haha, I like the idea of having something building up. The way I think it has changed my personality is I'm a bit cynical now, I see couples I know struggling and I just say to my friends... "they're doomed". If I was to meet someone else, It would take me a while before I 'let them in'. I am however, now at the stage where I'm optimistic about the future and meeting someone else. I'm not over my ex 100%, I wouldn't be on loveshack if i were, I think about her a lot less though. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bigtrouble Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 I'm 5 months post break up so not too far away. I don't cry either, lost loved ones and just mourned it in different ways. I cried a couple of times in the first month or two but haven't since. I'm the opposite with money, I have started saving and I'm now addicted to saving money haha, I like the idea of having something building up. The way I think it has changed my personality is I'm a bit cynical now, I see couples I know struggling and I just say to my friends... "they're doomed". If I was to meet someone else, It would take me a while before I 'let them in'. I am however, now at the stage where I'm optimistic about the future and meeting someone else. I'm not over my ex 100%, I wouldn't be on loveshack if i were, I think about her a lot less though. Well I am starting to move on, I just find it boring... I stop pinning for my Ex and I have nothing else to do... Maybe I should start saving money now, buy me some good stuff... I see couples I'm not cynical I just envy them... But I don't picture myself with my Ex... I want someone who deserves me... I think in a little while I will be ready for a relationship again... I am sure it won't be a rebound... Hmmm... I want a promotion, I want higher pay... I want to buy myself some good things... I want what I deserve... And its surely not my Ex... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Light Breeze Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 The naivete is gone. My idealistic view of love is no more. Boundary lines are firmly in place and etched in stone. The people pleaser in me died that day she walked out. I realized my needs are important too. I'm loving myself right now. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
FancyFace Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 I am 2 and a half months post breakup and NC and I would like to think I am still the same person, with a few colourful additions to my personality here and there. With money, I spend a lot more on myself now. My ex was a broke joker who took me for a ride financially, so I am treating myself a lot now, especially considering the fact that I am not taking care of another grown azz man. Thank God for small mercies. Apparently I am very angry and sound bitter at times. I am working on that. I think I am more angry at myself for putting up with half the nonsense I did than being angry at the world. Hopefully with time, it will all go away and I will be back to normal. Link to post Share on other sites
CT98 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 For me, this is the purpose break ups serve; you learn more about yourself and evolve into something better than you were when you were in the relationship. I have quite a romantic view on life though, I'm a 'everything happens for a reason' kinda guy. It's all good mate, let it take you where you're going, you'll look back and see the purpose of all this in time. Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Yeah, pain and change grow together. I'm changed immensely after heart break. For example, my dad provoked me couple of weeks back. I kept my cool where last year I'd let it escalate. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Oneness Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I like the idea that you are growing, your heart expanding, finding yourself after the break up. I don't think you are unmanly to cry, that scene in that anime just touched and opened up some grief from the break up of the relationship you were suppressing. Both my exhusband and my Borderline, psycho exboyfriend are very manly men...especially the psycho exbf...but I have seen them cry many times, and comforted them and wiped away their tears...loved them so much, why shouldn't I? My experience of changes in personality...my psycho exboyfriend, who I loved more then I ever loved any man ever, has left me an empty shell of my former self...I must rebuild myself, but first I must undo the immense damage he did to me.... Link to post Share on other sites
sober and dry Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I believe that immediately after the BU almost everyone becomes inevitably different because of the shock, the pain, the anger, etc. We must not allow this BS to change our persona. Instead we must hope that when it all goes away for real, we just return to our true self and must off all a bit wiser. Link to post Share on other sites
Marco Valerio Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Yes you do change somehow, at least in my case. I have become more introvert, less of a social person, I have less confident in myself... But I must think it's only for a time, until I get over her, I HOPE!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
ralfgarnett Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I have definitely changed this past 7 months, I feel nervous a lot of the time with an irrational feeling that something bad is going to happen even though there is no evidence at all that anything will happen, I feel jittery and uncertain of myself and my mood is mostly very low, so yes it changes you. Link to post Share on other sites
John83 Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 yes. Would love to be the person I was before I met my current ex, she really sucked the life out of me and I'll always mourn the loss of a stable family home for my kids, I don't think I'll ever get over that. Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Traumatic experiences do change us, if we want it or not. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
EverLastluv Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 It's true, we learned from our mistakes. Every relationship make a difference and new things to learn. I have learned to talk sweeter with a man. I realize how mean I was in past relationship. My personality is so different. I laugh at stupid jokes I dont take it serious, less argumentive, more calmer than ever its a good feeling thought Link to post Share on other sites
Dobie Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Apart from what I have learned about myself I really don't believe in "love" anymore the more I read the more I hear the more I learn most types of "love" are illusion or false attachments / shadow side love / co dependacy etc I also don't believe I will ever trust a partner again humans are selfish what we promise today we break tommorow if it suits us . Link to post Share on other sites
Heartbroken Eagle Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 Sadly yes. I have become more cynical about the world, find it difficult to trust anyone, much angrier, more emotional, less tolerant with other people. Also I'm lacking any self confidence in myself, feeling totally worthless. Sad how one truly nasty person can do this to you!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
sober and dry Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 Just like any hurt animal we too act on the pain of it. Once it passes I hope everyone go back to themselves... Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 I think you become a little insecure after a break up. I mean someone that you thought wanted you, doesn't want you anymore. (or you stopped wanting someone you always thought you wanted). I know that I have a hard time dealing with anything romantic because it makes me wish I had what I used to have. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts