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Tinder:"not looking for a hookup"


SmartDude

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When I did OLD, I didn't bother with saying I wasn't looking for hookups. What good would it do?

 

The men who only want a hook up will surely still just ignore it anyway.

 

Instead of talking about how I don't hook up, I'll let my actions speak for themselves. Men need only spend a little bit of time with me to see that it's not my style.

 

The better course of action for me was to put one photo, a simple headshot, and no body shot. I figure men who only want a hookup are gonna be interested in seeing my body, whereas someone who's looking for a relationship will be more interested in seeing what I wrote about myself, and simply talking to me.

 

The men who requested pics of my body were politely declined. My body is nice, but I don't want a man who would pass me up were it not nice. I don't want someone who judges based on that.

 

 

Men may want to see a full body shot to see if you're obese or over weight. If you look at dating sites women who are over weight claim to be average .

I would be highly suspicious of a woman only have a head shot. I would be wonder if she was also hiding something else.

 

 

There is women who say they don't want a hookup yet you have photos showing half their boobs, sometimes a sexual way also.

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Men may want to see a full body shot to see if you're obese or over weight. If you look at dating sites women who are over weight claim to be average .

I would be highly suspicious of a woman only have a head shot. I would be wonder if she was also hiding something else.

 

 

There is women who say they don't want a hookup yet you have photos showing half their boobs, sometimes a sexual way also.

 

I understand that men might be trying to make sure I'm not overweight, but I would rather be with a man who does not care whether or not I'm overweight. That's why I don't show a body shot. I actually work out and eat well and have a great body, but I don't want a man who would pass me up if I did happen to be overweight. I want a man who would not care.

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Do people ever use Tinder to find others with common interests like bridge, birdwatching, craft beer, etc.? Totally platonic, either gender?

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CrystalShine2011

To not look like you will sleep with them right away. More so as a sign to guys who aren't looking for a relationship!

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Interesting, i like it when people are honest and up front and say what they want from the start. Prevents feelings from being hurt later, i find. Mystery sucks.

 

It should be implied through her actions not advertised before even meeting the person.

 

I think it could also be compared to a dude telling everyone on his dating profile that he's a nice guy.

Edited by Jame22
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Interesting, i like it when people are honest and up front and say what they want from the start. Prevents feelings from being hurt later, i find. Mystery sucks.

 

you haven't even met the person yet!!! If you somehow manage to get your feelings hurt after one date it's your fault

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Yeah its funny when people think DATING SITES are used for DATING AND MEETING PEOPLE.. where as TINDER is NOT. They're all the same. I've seen plenty of people on DATING SITES who just want HOOKUPS. I've had plenty of filthy, sleazy men on DATING SITES who are just looking for SEX.

 

The bottom line is, if someone states that they don't want a hookup, take their word for it. If they do go on to have sex, its probably because they are under the false impression that it's something more. Most of us don't give a crap what our 'girlfriends' think. It's the 21st century and women are allowed to get some.

 

So if men are just looking for sex they're labeled as filthy and sleezy but If woman are just looking for sex they're empowered? Great

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So if men are just looking for sex they're labeled as filthy and sleezy but If woman are just looking for sex they're empowered? Great

 

You should know by now that when it comes to women their actions have to be excused because it's probably a good reason.

 

 

never made any sense to me

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Do people ever use Tinder to find others with common interests like bridge, birdwatching, craft beer, etc.? Totally platonic, either gender?

 

Probably not. You can try, but I'd recommend Meetup for that.

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It means they are not looking for a hook up! Probably want respect when you first meet and time to get to know the person to see if there could be potential to date or be in a relationship. Or even maybe just be friends if they do not end up seeing it that way.

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Probably not. You can try, but I'd recommend Meetup for that.

 

Thanks. Not looking for anything like that, just curious.

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It means they are not looking for a hook up! Probably want respect when you first meet and time to get to know the person to see if there could be potential to date or be in a relationship. Or even maybe just be friends if they do not end up seeing it that way.

 

It's pointless to say because most men will send a message asking for one anyway

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I had one annoying experience on tinder last night

 

Was matched with this beautiful women and she has not been on since she was on Tinder which was last night around 9pm. I am trying to move the process forward and she is not even on after clicking yes for my pic

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Happens all the time... Tinder can be a huge time waste.

 

I was like........:she is my type" where is she LOL

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So if men are just looking for sex they're labeled as filthy and sleezy but If woman are just looking for sex they're empowered? Great

 

Good one , yeah thats exactly what I was saying. :rolleyes:

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Justanaverageguy

I experimented with Tinder for a number of months last year before putting it into retirement - but I would be open to using it again. I was in a new country and looking to meet new people. I was recently single and open to hookups but not the only thing I was looking for. I went on a ton of dates and meet ups with varying experiences. Like others said it is 100% what you make it. The app is so simple and there is so little required to set it up that it is really nothing more then a connection tool. A starting point. What you do after the connection is made is entirely up to you. If your on there looking for sex you will find it. If your looking for something more substantial you will find that too.

 

I had experiences with girls who were looking for love, girls who were looking to just meet knew people, girls who just wanted to practice their english in chats, girls who were looking for hookups and girls who were overtly looking for just sex and nothing else. I had good dates, bad dates and weird dates. Yes I did hookup with women and even started dating one more seriously which ended because I moved cities. I also made plutonic friends on there as well. I actually went to a festival this past weekend with a girl I met through tinder 6 months ago. Shes a really cool girl but we just became friends and drinking buddies and nothing more.

 

What I will say is, I was open for hookups, but what I consider a hookup and what some others consider a hookup are two totally different things. I don't go in with the express idea this is a hookup and nothing more. If it leads to sex ok cool .... if it ends up leading to something more as well ok I'm open to that. I did go on dates with some girls where they were just looking for sex and they literally didn't want anything else. Conversation and having a connection was completely optional. It was a cold and weird almost like they were making a business transaction and just jumped straight to dirty sex talk. For me that's just a massive turn off and not something I was interested in. I want to get there .... but not after 15mins.

 

I'm not a prude and I am completely fine and open to casual sex. I've done FWB before and its good when it works and that's all your looking for. But if I have sex with someone I still need to like them, have some connection with them and actually have fun spending time with them. Maybe that connection is not substantial and we have only been on a couple of dates but there has to be something there more then just picking a picture off an online app and then turning up for sex. Hell we don't have to get married and have babies together but some friendly chating and flirting is kind of a minimum requirement.

 

I think many of the girls on there are similar. They aren't going in with a predefined idea of just wanting a hookup only or just wanting a serious relationship. They are treating it like they would any single guy they meet in the real world and and looking for a connection and then see what happens. They just don't want the bozos who are sending texts - "Hey are you DTF ???" Who then turn up on their doorstep 15mins later with a hard on.

Edited by Justanaverageguy
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organizedchaos
I experimented with Tinder for a number of months last year before putting it into retirement - but I would be open to using it again. I was in a new country and looking to meet new people. I was recently single and open to hookups but not the only thing I was looking for. I went on a ton of dates and meet ups with varying experiences. Like others said it is 100% what you make it. The app is so simple and there is so little required to set it up that it is really nothing more then a connection tool. A starting point. What you do after the connection is made is entirely up to you. If your on there looking for sex you will find it. If your looking for something more substantial you will find that too.

 

I had experiences with girls who were looking for love, girls who were looking to just meet knew people, girls who just wanted to practice their english in chats, girls who were looking for hookups and girls who were overtly looking for just sex and nothing else. I had good dates, bad dates and weird dates. Yes I did hookup with women and even started dating one more seriously which ended because I moved cities. I also made plutonic friends on there as well. I actually went to a festival this past weekend with a girl I met through tinder 6 months ago. Shes a really cool girl but we just became friends and drinking buddies and nothing more.

 

What I will say is, I was open for hookups, but what I consider a hookup and what some others consider a hookup are two totally different things. I don't go in with the express idea this is a hookup and nothing more. If it leads to sex ok cool .... if it ends up leading to something more as well ok I'm open to that. I did go on dates with some girls where they were just looking for sex and they literally didn't want anything else. Conversation and having a connection was completely optional. It was a cold and weird almost like they were making a business transaction and just jumped straight to dirty sex talk. For me that's just a massive turn off and not something I was interested in. I want to get there .... but not after 15mins.

 

I'm not a prude and I am completely fine and open to casual sex. I've done FWB before and its good when it works and that's all your looking for. But if I have sex with someone I still need to like them, have some connection with them and actually have fun spending time with them. Maybe that connection is not substantial and we have only been on a couple of dates but there has to be something there more then just picking a picture off an online app and then turning up for sex. Hell we don't have to get married and have babies together but some friendly chating and flirting is kind of a minimum requirement.

 

I think many of the girls on there are similar. They aren't going in with a predefined idea of just wanting a hookup only or just wanting a serious relationship. They are treating it like they would any single guy they meet in the real world and and looking for a connection and then see what happens. They just don't want the bozos who are sending texts - "Hey are you DTF ???" Who then turn up on their doorstep 15mins later with a hard on.

 

Your experience is similar to mine. Met all kinds of girls. Some only wanted a hookup (but did not advertise that) and other were just trying to find someone they connected with and could date. It was a lot of fun and met lots of women through it, including my current gf I've mentioned earlier in this thread. Going on 8 months now.

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They are treating it like they would any single guy they meet in the real world and and looking for a connection and then see what happens. They just don't want the bozos who are sending texts - "Hey are you DTF ???" Who then turn up on their doorstep 15mins later with a hard on.

 

Exactly! ..

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I notice this on women's profile in tinder quite a bit.

What does "not looking for a hookup" actually mean in woman language?

 

I would be a fool if I took these words literally, that has already become obvious...

 

I don't think this is a secret code or secret women's language...it seems pretty straight forward.

 

I gather Tinder is more for hooking up, I've never used it though and don't know if that is the explicit purpose or it just so happens to be that that way. Nevertheless, one is free to say what one is and is not looking for and if someone says they aren't into hooking up and you are, pass them by.

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