Sadaka Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Alright, so. I dated my ex girlfriend for 3 years, two years ago she dumped me. Barely talked the past 1,5 years and a year ago she told me she met a new guy and didn't want any contact. About two months ago she started emailing me "to see how i was doing" and now we've been emailing since then. But the thing is, it's getting annoying. She sends an email, writes two sentences and asks a question, i reply, do the same. Not really going anywhere. Also, she always takes 1 to 7(!) days to respond to my emails, so i always wait a few days before responding, when she did. Why is she even emailing me and why is she waiting so long to respond? I actually like her but this is just annoying and frustrating. Also, she and the new guy broke up a few weeks after she started emailing me. Link to post Share on other sites
Cedar27 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Why don't you ask if she wants to grab coffee or something? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadaka Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 Why don't you ask if she wants to grab coffee or something? I dont really feel like i should be the one doing that. She dumped me, met a new guy and told me she didnt want any contact with me. Also, it shows me her interest level is probably pretty low, why else would you wait DAYS to reply? Link to post Share on other sites
Cedar27 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 I dont really feel like i should be the one doing that. She dumped me, met a new guy and told me she didnt want any contact with me. Also, it shows me her interest level is probably pretty low, why else would you wait DAYS to reply? You have a point, but neither of us are mind readers. It may mean her interest level is low, or it may mean she is taking things super slow, or acting like she's busy. Could be any number of things, although signs point to her not being that interested. I can imagine it being annoying. Why don't you just ask her why it's taking her so long to respond? Ask her why after all this time did she decides to reach out to you? I know it's straight forward, but it sounds like you need more out of her to consider seeing her again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadaka Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 Why don't you just ask her why it's taking her so long to respond? Ask her why after all this time did she decides to reach out to you? I know it's straight forward, but it sounds like you need more out of her to consider seeing her again. Good idea, i will do that next time she replies. I really see no point in exchanging a few sentences each week. Link to post Share on other sites
Cedar27 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Let me know how it turns out... Link to post Share on other sites
Marco Valerio Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I think she was just checking in, maybe looking for some comfort due to something happening in her life. If she doesn't come clear to you, do not answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Jimmyjackson Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 [/b]I dont really feel like i should be the one doing that. She dumped me, met a new guy and told me she didnt want any contact with me.[/b] Also, it shows me her interest level is probably pretty low, why else would you wait DAYS to reply? Exactly, she dumped you, she has a new guy, why should you ask her for a coffee? you shouldn't its a stupid idea. Why go for a coffee with an ex who's got a new guy? seems pointless to me, if she was single then maybe that would be different. My advice is to act like you don't give a crap, even if you do she won't know the difference, just go no contact like she asked. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadaka Posted February 2, 2015 Author Share Posted February 2, 2015 Exactly, she dumped you, she has a new guy, why should you ask her for a coffee? you shouldn't its a stupid idea. Why go for a coffee with an ex who's got a new guy? seems pointless to me, if she was single then maybe that would be different. My advice is to act like you don't give a crap, even if you do she won't know the difference, just go no contact like she asked. I dont think you read the whole post, read it again She and the new guy broke up and i was NC with her for about a year, after she told me she wanted no contact. Link to post Share on other sites
Cedar27 Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 (edited) Exactly, she dumped you, she has a new guy, why should you ask her for a coffee? you shouldn't its a stupid idea. Why go for a coffee with an ex who's got a new guy? seems pointless to me, if she was single then maybe that would be different. My advice is to act like you don't give a crap, even if you do she won't know the difference, just go no contact like she asked. Some people want to give others they cared about second chances. We are all different. OP looks like he's curious about seeing where this goes. Just because it's not what you would do, doesn't mean that there is a one size fits all answer for everyone. This is the "Second chances" forum after all. Edited February 2, 2015 by Cedar27 1 Link to post Share on other sites
tikay00 Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 Some people want to give others they cared about second chances. We are all different. OP looks like he's curious about seeing where this goes. Just because it's not what you would do, doesn't mean that there is a one size fits all answer for everyone. This is the "Second chances" forum after all. Huge red flag at, "messages me days later." Like, huh???? Bro, she's not that into you. You're just someone she knew from the past, and saying what's up on occasion, because she's bored. She's sitting there messaging you, and then living her life. You're sitting there, replying to back to her, and posting about this in a relationship forum. You don't see how the balance is way off on this one? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadaka Posted February 3, 2015 Author Share Posted February 3, 2015 (edited) So the reply was: "I just wanted to see how you were doing! Nothing else. I didnt think the conversation would drag on for so long but i like to talk to people i havent talked to for a long time sometimes. I didnt mean to treat you bad in any way, that was not my intentation. Be good!" She replied within 5 minutes. Im guessing you guys dont think i should reply. My conclusion; bitch. Edited February 3, 2015 by Sadaka Link to post Share on other sites
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