elgringo Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I started dating a woman i met at work last April. Things were good at first, but it didn't take long to see that she had some serious emotional baggage from previous relationships. Her unresolved issues started a pattern of good times followed by her being cold and distant. After a few months of this I broke things off with her. Then i run in to her later, she texts me, we reconnect. I missed her and thought maybe things would be different. But again it was the hot and cold rollercoaster. We were on and off again for awhile. Last time i saw her was in December and we had a big fight and she called me that night crying and telling me she was sorry and that i didn't do anything wrong. So we agreed to spend some time apart and she would work on her issues and i would work on myself. I found a service that will provide 5 free counseling sessions and told her about it. We have been no contact since December 20. I want to give her adequate time for her to get it together. So how long should i wait before contacting her? Is this a lost cause? Have you ever been in a situation like this and it worked out? I am holding out hope because when things were good they were really good so i see this great potential. And she is very beautiful, the woman of my dreams. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 You have done well to lay down the ground rules. It does sound like she is in bit of a pickle. Problem is that none of us can advise how long as every person is different. Perhaps ask her how she is getting on once a month or so. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Aruchi Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 If your having problems with her now think about how it will be in the long run. She will be confused and will never know what she wants. I'd say move on and find someone who will be emotional available for you. Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Past behavior is a strong indication of future behavior. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I Didn't get the sense that she has emotional baggage. Sounds like she behaved in a normal way when someone has a fight. Sometimes when folks fight they display variable emotions... Perhaps she is a bit sensitive ....or has compassion ....Some folks aren't touchy feely kinds and prefer to keep things on the superficial level...Its where they are safe. People have levels and tolerances, What are yours? Link to post Share on other sites
lil hoodlum Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 I dated a woman and it started out just as you described. She turned out to have Borderline Personality Disorder. (BPD) Good luck to you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 I would check in with her after the free counselling sessions, if she takes them. If she doesn't, I wouldn't anticipate much change. Link to post Share on other sites
Author elgringo Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 I dated a woman and it started out just as you described. She turned out to have Borderline Personality Disorder. (BPD) Good luck to you I think that is also known as Hot Mess Syndrome. (HMS) How long did u date this person before u figured out there was a problem? Link to post Share on other sites
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