LDR due to studies and broke up after 2weeks, GIGS?

[Norajess]

So i was with my ex (my first bf,i'm his 1st official one too) from 18 to 22, we were classmates back in our hometown and we had a good relationship,

 

He had to move away to London for 3 years for further studies. I knew about his plan for further studies since the very beginning of us, and months before he had to go, i was the insecure one and he would assure me that things will work out if only we put in effort, we will cry when we talk about it sometimes.

 

But just 2 weeks after he went over, he broke up with me over texts in Oct. He said he wasn't sure if he still loves me or its only 'sympathy', he said we kinda 'grew up' together and he wants to me try dating other guys before i commit to him (weird huh?)

I didn't stop him because i told myself to not go after him because he already initiated break up THRICE (first 2 times was a 1 day break, 1st time i was too needy, 2nd time he lied about smoking) in the r/s, i didn't want to look pathetic begging him to stay, so i said okay. I asked if there was another girl, he said he just felt 'attracted, like any other jerks'

 

Right after the BU, i went into No contact, unfollowed him on social medias and blocked his updates in FB. after around 2 months i checked, and found out he was dating the girl i was suspecting before, just 3 weeks after our BU!

 

Then in Dec, he messaged me on fb to wish me happy birthday and i replied with just a thanks.

 

Till now he is still dating the girl, i think it might be the grass is greener syndrome, where he thinks he should explore more because he's so young and shouldn't just have ONE gf? i'm just not sure how long he will take to realize what he lost and when will their honeymoon period be over. They look happy on social media platforms and it's been almost 3 months of dating, when will he start to think back on our r/s?

 

I've been thinking positively, i really think it's his loss. I work out even more now and have lost almost 9 pounds in 4 mths and i think i look good now! He might be coming back in June during his break and he lives near me so we might bump into each other. I just want to look my best and make him regret then

 

Would really appreciate if anyone can reply, i need to rant!!

[remote]

good for you! glad you took it well and worked on self-improvement instead, I bet he will regret it when he sees you!

I was 21 when I met my bf and we only dated for 3 months before we had to go ldr. He told me I should date other guys before I commit to him too! Weird, yes. But he is my first bf and I guess he was feeling insecure. After a while, he realized I'm here to stay and started taking those words back. lol.

[Norajess]

good for you! glad you took it well and worked on self-improvement instead, I bet he will regret it when he sees you!

I was 21 when I met my bf and we only dated for 3 months before we had to go ldr. He told me I should date other guys before I commit to him too! Weird, yes. But he is my first bf and I guess he was feeling insecure. After a while, he realized I'm here to stay and started taking those words back. lol.

 

Thanks remote! After a few weeks when I think back on what he said I think he's indirectly telling me that's what he wanna do haha, before he himself commits to anyone. I don't hate him for making this decision, if he don't do this now while he's away, he will still do it when we're older. I need him to be more mature handling our relationship and hopefully this GIGS thing will hit him hard.

Even If we don't get back together after everything, the growing up part will be good for him anyway.

Tomorrow I'm going to return his stuff that I borrowed from his friends, back to his mum. Don't want it to be lying around my place to remind me of him

[Popsicle]

What is GIGS?

[Norajess]

What is GIGS?

 

Hey Popsicle, I'm referring to Grass is greener syndrome!

[d0nnivain]

It sounds like you are handling things in a remarkably healthy way. Sadly when some people get out into the wider world they take the 1st opportunity to leave all things & relationships from their home towns behind. That is what your EX did. I don't know if it's GIGs per se but more of a I want to see what a big city like London has to offer.

 

 

Keep doing what you are doing: working out, not following him & maintaining NC. You did the polite thing with a mere thanks to the Birthday wishes.

 

 

Hang in there.

[Norajess]

It sounds like you are handling things in a remarkably healthy way. Sadly when some people get out into the wider world they take the 1st opportunity to leave all things & relationships from their home towns behind. That is what your EX did. I don't know if it's GIGs per se but more of a I want to see what a big city like London has to offer.

 

 

Keep doing what you are doing: working out, not following him & maintaining NC. You did the polite thing with a mere thanks to the Birthday wishes.

 

 

Hang in there.

 

Thank you, I will. Working out really helps especially when you imagine you're punching the EXes haha.

[Buddhist]

I get your need for your relationship with him to mean something and for him to feel some divine justice over breaking up with you. We all need something to hang onto when we're feeling the hurt of rejection. It's good you've channelled that energy into your health.

 

At the end of the day, you are both really young, yes even 22 is really young. The chances of that being 'together forever' were very slim to begin with. Just be proud of yourself and what you've achieved and pick up some of that 'anythings possible' moving on energy yourself. Focus on who's next for you rather than who's in your rearview mirror.