commitment timeline

[mtnbike_chick]

Here is my dilemma: I have finally found "the one", never thought I would but here he is and life is heavenly. We are absolutely perfect for each other and after 5 months of dating, I am ready for the next step i.e. living together to see if we could make it a go as a happily married couple. Here's the catch: sometime ago, I made it clear that I would not want to just move in with someone for the sake of living together, that it would have to be at a stage where we were engaged and looking to get married soon. Well, now I don't want to rush him into anything and I know he is serious about me but I just can't wait to be living together under the same roof, engaged or not. I don't know how to breach the subject without rushing him and scaring him away...I am not getting any younger (35) and I know he is my true soulmate and I need to know that he feels the same....help!

[Tony T]

If he is your TRUE soulmate, you shouldn't have to say much. You should also feel extremely safe in talking to him about any subject. Assuming you have shared your very strong feelings for him, it would seem natural that the next step would be moving in together...especially at your age.

 

If you discuss this with him and he brings up what you said in the past, just tell him to draw his own conclusions. I think this is a great way to flush out the whole situation. You need to do this. Time is wasting. If you want to be with him on a more full time basis, there is no better way than to live together.

 

As far as living together being a predictor of the success of a marriage, research has found no correlation. As a matter of fact, some studies have shown that marriages where the couple did not cohabitate prior to taking their vows actually had a better chance of having a positive, long term marital experience.

 

Talk to him soon and get your things together for a move. Both of you are certainly mature enough to handle this.