I suck at job interviews -- what can I do?

[Standard-Fare]

I'm at the point where my lack of success with job interviews is very much impacting my quality of life and personal growth. I need to address it.

 

I've been stuck in a stagnant career situation for the past several years, while trying my best to explore new options. I've applied to many jobs and I've actually scored interviews for several interesting ones. But then it seems like I always blow it. I'm never able to sell myself enough to edge out my competition.

 

My main problem in interviews seems to be my nerves, which make me tense and awkward. I'm not "myself." And usually there's a moment where I'm asked a question that takes me a little off guard, and I find myself stammering or my mind going blank against my will. From that moment on, I'll feel deflated.

 

At this point, after so many rejections over the past 2-3 years, I imagine I must also be carrying a generally dejected vibe into any new interview. Subconsciously I probably walk in with zero sense of hope.

 

Once a friend gave me an anti-anxiety pill before an interview, and I have to admit it did make me a lot calmer. However I didn't get the job and my fear is I came across as too "flat" and detached during that one. It was definitely a gamble and I'm not sure I'd be willing to take that risk again.

 

What are my best options for improving this situation? Should I be meeting with some kind of job coach? Or ... should I seek psychological counseling? After losing out on yet another dream job this past week, I know I can't keep ignoring this problem.

Edited February 2, 2015 by Standard-Fare

[WonderWoman911]

Job coaching is good. But I think the #1 key to winning an interview is CONFIDENCE. You have to feel within yourself that you're the best and you deserve to have the position. The interviewer will get this vibe from you. Don't downplay your greatness. After so many interviews getting turned down, you have to put it in your mind that this will be the last interview you'll ever do, so you'll have no choice but to shine! If I was you, see if any of your family members or friends can give you mock interviews,which is basically practice interviews.

 

 

Allow them to be extremely honest with you so you'll know what you need to improve on. Be okay with their constructive criticism because it's only for your good. What you can also do is go online and research different interview questions. Rememorize them and master it. You'll be fine. Just relax as much as you can. Know that the interviewer is a person just like you, so it's no need to feel nervous. Good luck to you. I wish you much success!

[Standard-Fare]

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement.

 

But a couple notes:

 

1) I'm not sure practice interviews with friends and family would be much help. For me they can't accurately replicate the stressful environment of a real interview where I'm being evaluated and judged by strangers.

 

2) Of course I agree that confidence is key. But I probably need to examine the deeper reasons why I'm not able to project that in an interview. And, as I mentioned, at this point I've faced so many rejections that my confidence is fundamentally shaken and I'm not quite sure how to repair that. It's become a matter of self-protection for me to not get my hopes up too high for any potential job.

[d0nnivain]

A job coach would be a good idea.

[Rainbowlove]

Practice by getting more interviews.

 

When people are looking for jobs, they should go on as many interviews as they can - even if they feel like they might not really want a job.

 

With each interview, you gain experience. You begin to see what employers are looking for and you also get a good sense of what companies you can see yourself working for and which ones you don't.

 

Write down questions they ask you. Go in with a pen and pad. As someone who has conducted interviews, I loved it when someone looks prepared.

 

And there's nothing wrong with reviewing your notes when you are in the interview.

 

Take your time answer questions. Also, when someone asks you a question, ask the question back to them, so you know you have it right.

 

I've been hired as a police officer, pretty grueling application/interview process.

 

The biggest thing you can do for yourself in an interview is BE YOURSELF. If you go into an interview and pretend to be someone you are not, you're doomed.

 

Be real. Get real. Put yourself out there often.

[Rainbowlove]

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement.

 

But a couple notes:

 

1) I'm not sure practice interviews with friends and family would be much help. For me they can't accurately replicate the stressful environment of a real interview where I'm being evaluated and judged by strangers.

 

The practice is about preparing answers and questions eloquently and knowing your stuff. It does build confidence. Talk to yourself over and over again in the mirror, in the car and before you sleep.

 

2) Of course I agree that confidence is key. But I probably need to examine the deeper reasons why I'm not able to project that in an interview. And, as I mentioned, at this point I've faced so many rejections that my confidence is fundamentally shaken and I'm not quite sure how to repair that. It's become a matter of self-protection for me to not get my hopes up too high for any potential job.

 

Listen, everyone gets rejected. Everyone. I am good at what I do, I know this. Yet, before I landed this job, I went on 5 interviews and didn't get hired. Some jobs I was overqualified for, some jobs I didn't really want, some interviewers stunk...sometimes I just wasn't what they were looking for for whatever reason.

 

I ended up with the job and company I really wanted.

 

DO NOT take it personally. You can't, or you don't stand a chance in the real world.

[MikeyBe]

Acknowledgement is always the first step.

 

My advice would be to start from ground zero. Job coaching is a full time profession. Getting jobs, resumes, and interviews have turned into an art or a science. So when you ask for advice, you're probably getting a bit more advanced strategies and tactics. Keep that in mind.

 

Confidence is always key. Before you start having confidence in landing the job though and yourself as a job candidate, you need to have some confidence in yourself. So if you're not the best at interviews and you get nervous, accept it and start there. Prepare yourself. Accept that at some point you will get lost on a question, accept that you will ramble on at some point, accept that at some point you will be asked a question that makes your heart sink or freeze. You have to teach yourself how to move on from these.

 

You'd be amazed at how much you are stressing over things, when a simple,

"Excuse me, let me recollect my thought process."

"I'm sorry, can you repeat the question?"

Or a simple deep breath, a couple seconds to collect yourself if you get too nervous.

 

 

This is not advice to have a perfect interview, some of these may even be what you don't want to do or say in an interview but compared to getting all nervous and feeling self-defeated?

 

Good luck.

[Standard-Fare]

I'll be honest, I don't even know what a job coach is... just threw that term out there. My funds are tight, though, so I know I'm not willing to spend money on anything that might not be helpful.

 

I try not to take the rejections personally. I do work in a competitive field. For any job I'm going for, there are dozens of applicants. I'm lucky to have scored the interviews I've had, and I've come close to getting some real awesome jobs. But none of that matters if I never find a way to climb myself at the top of the heap.

 

I do think maybe I should maybe start applying to some jobs I'm overqualified for or not gung-ho about, to get more experience with interviews when less is at stake.

 

Gotta keep trying. Thanks for the advice everyone.

[KatZee]

You need to flip your mentality around. I used to become paralyzed with fear at job interviews, and I noticed I would "go blank," freeze up, and generally just blow it.

 

After going on dozens of interviews, and reading tips online, I learned something. You need to walk into an interview as if YOU'RE the one doing the interviewing.

 

Yes, they're looking for the best fit for their position. But is their position the best fit FOR YOU?

 

Instead of walking in and expecting to be interviewed, interview THEM.

 

First, before any interview, you MUST be doing research on the company. I find that for "mind blankers" such as myself, and you, it's best to write things down on a note pad, bullet point style, and bring it with you.

 

I personally carry a faux leather interview folder. It holds a notepad, pen, and has pockets for materials and business cards.

 

So, have your materials when you walk in, hand them a fresh copy of your resume/cover letter, and have your note pad of information in front of you. Do NOT READ from this. Basically use it to glance down, refresh your frozen mind, and get the conversation moving again.

 

If you go into an interview prepared, you shouldn't ever be frozen with no clue how to recover.

 

Ask many questions about the job, what it entails, what would a typical day look like. Even if these things were listed on the job posting it will keep a conversation going. It also shows them you are interested in the job.

 

At my last job interview, the one I was subsequently hired for, I walked in like a boss, and asked my now employer so many questions. At one point she even stopped and was like, "oh you're asking a lot of good questions."

 

At no point was I ever just sitting there and letting her talk "at" me.

 

Once you flip the mentality and overcome the fear that you are being put on the spot, you will become a lot more successful at interviews. Once this happened for me, interviews were not really a thing. I would wake up, be super calm, I'd have my materials, casually get there, and kill an interview.

 

Also, firm handshakes with you ALWAYS being the initiator, when you get there, and when you leave. Always thank them for their time and information on the position and that you hope to hear from them soon. ALWAYS follow up with a thank you e-mail right after the interview.

 

Remember, you're interviewing them just as much as they're interviewing you.

[Standard-Fare]

Thanks for the thoughts, KatZee.

 

Let me relate a couple problems I've had in recent interviews:

 

1) In one, the interviewer was very flat and seemed to be reading from a script with very bland questions. The questions themselves didn't open up many opportunities for me to sell myself... they required straightforward answers. There was no sense of natural "conversation." I was horrified when I realized she'd gone through her whole list and I hadn't had the chance to say a lot of things I wanted to say.

 

At the end, I scrambled to try to give her more information about myself, but it was awkward. I tried to prolong it by more through asking questions myself, but she again didn't engage too much. When the interview ended, I was positive I didn't have the job.

 

This is a common problem for me: Ending the interview and realizing I missed out on saying a lot of things I should have.

 

2) Another interview was almost TOO casual. It felt much more like a natural conversation, and I found myself steering it, which seemed like a positive thing at the time. I asked a ton of questions and did a lot of talking about my past experiences that were relevant. There was even some joking and laughing.

 

But when I left the interview, I realized the two interviewers hadn't really asked ME many questions. Including very fundamental stuff. That leads me to believe that a) maybe they weren't very invested/interested in me from the start, for whatever reason, so they didn't bother going through the whole process, or b) maybe I was TOO casual, and for whatever reason they didn't like my personality enough to bring me on board.

[Tayla]

Standard-Fare, Katzee gave such a wonderful suggestion!

 

Three things that helped to remember is, You are the valued one! Make them "want" you.

 

*Make that first introduction count! A Hand shake and a smile do wonders!

 

*Speak up and be aware of your interviewer. Professional Friendliness is welcomed.

[KatZee]

Thanks for the thoughts, KatZee.

 

Let me relate a couple problems I've had in recent interviews:

 

1) In one, the interviewer was very flat and seemed to be reading from a script with very bland questions. The questions themselves didn't open up many opportunities for me to sell myself... they required straightforward answers. There was no sense of natural "conversation." I was horrified when I realized she'd gone through her whole list and I hadn't had the chance to say a lot of things I wanted to say.

 

At the end, I scrambled to try to give her more information about myself, but it was awkward. I tried to prolong it by more through asking questions myself, but she again didn't engage too much. When the interview ended, I was positive I didn't have the job.

 

 

 

Obviously this person is subpar in interviewing. That company is going to have a lot of issues getting a great person for the job if they don't interview well.

 

This was also her error and her problem, not yours. Again, YOU should have now started interviewing her. Don't just tell her about yourself. Everything about you is on your resume. No need to say any of that again, it's a waste of time.

 

If you wanted to say things, this was your opportunity. You can't be scared just because the "script" you had in your head didn't play out in real life. You can very rarely, if ever, control people or situations around you. You just have to come back into the moment and get back on YOUR track.

 

I'm not sure what the job was but you could have asked any number of things back to her: what kind of person would be great for this position? Here is why I think my skills would be beneficial to you. [insert personal experience here on why you believe this]. You could have referred back to something she said earlier, asked for clarity on what she said, delved deeper into it.

 

If she wasn't really reciprocating, then instead of dragging it out, YOU take control of the situation and say, "That's all the questions I have for you, thank you for taking the time to tell me about this position and the company. It was great meeting with you." Then stand up, shake her hand, and leave. Not all interviewers are great. Some are really terrible and have no idea what they're even doing. It's not a representation of you, it's a representation of them.

 

This is a common problem for me: Ending the interview and realizing I missed out on saying a lot of things I should have.

 

This is why you have a note pad with your bulleted points. You don't walk out until everything you have written down has been said by you, or addressed already by the interviewer.

 

2) Another interview was almost TOO casual. It felt much more like a natural conversation, and I found myself steering it, which seemed like a positive thing at the time. I asked a ton of questions and did a lot of talking about my past experiences that were relevant. There was even some joking and laughing.

 

But when I left the interview, I realized the two interviewers hadn't really asked ME many questions. Including very fundamental stuff. That leads me to believe that a) maybe they weren't very invested/interested in me from the start, for whatever reason, so they didn't bother going through the whole process, or b) maybe I was TOO casual, and for whatever reason they didn't like my personality enough to bring me on board.

 

Or it could have been that they already had decided on the candidate but followed through with the appointment anyway. I've been on interviews like this. I had, what seemed like, a really good interview. Back and forth, talking, conversation, and then at the end the woman was like, "oh just so you know we have our top two candidates already."

 

I was like... why the hell did you even bring me in then!!!!? It was a waste of my time, my money getting to the city, a waste of their time. But I guess for whatever reason they felt they had to honor the set interview? I left mind-boggled, but it happens.

[Standard-Fare]

My latest dilemmas have involved phone interviews.

 

In one case, the person in charge emailed to see if I was available for "10 minutes to chat" the next day about the position. I agreed, and set aside 10 minutes of my workday to sneak out into a break room for the phone call.

 

I assumed it was a preliminary talk to establish some basics, and that a formal, in-person interview would follow later. Nope. That phone call was THE interview, in total. I wasn't fully prepared, I wasn't in the right environment for it, and I blew it.

 

Well, the next time that happened (someone asking for a "phone chat,") I was prepared for a full interview, which I got. I thought it went really well. I was calm and my answers were thorough. The guy I spoke with was enthusiastic and seemed almost close to starting the hiring process right then and there.

 

But now, over a week later, I'm still waiting for any sort of response. I emailed to check in with him, and got stone-cold silence which I imagine will be followed by an official rejection at some point. I LOVE this process!!!

[jellybean89]

I don't think you need to spend the money on a job coach. It all starts within you.

 

MANY companies have standard questions that must be asked. At my company, there is a 2-4 page document that the interviewing person has which are the questions that are required to be asked (standard fare to ensure that everyone is afforded the same opportunity to be asked questions - federal law type of document to CYA). There are a ton of articles online about interviewing. Read them. Make notes of questions that you are normally asked. Using that - ask a friend if they can get another friend (who you don't know) to role play with you. That person can be the interviewer. Have your friend sit in and watch so they can critique your performance.

 

I agree with the others - you have to walk into the interview as if you own the show. You have to be assertive, informative and respectful (not that you aren't being respectful). You always need to be prepared - kinda shocked you weren't prepared for a phone interview --- always always always be prepared. A lot of companies narrow down the field of applicants with phone interviews - have notes with you at all times so you can refer to them. Heck, put a sticky on the notes saying "YOU GOT THIS" to help boost your confidence.

 

Job hunting in today's market is hard. You have to sell yourself because there is so much competition out there. There is no reason why these jobs aren't yours for the taking. Maybe keep post its around the house/desk to help encourage you and lift yourself up.

 

Good luck!

[Standard-Fare]

IYou always need to be prepared - kinda shocked you weren't prepared for a phone interview --- always always always be prepared. A lot of companies narrow down the field of applicants with phone interviews - have notes with you at all times so you can refer to them. Heck, put a sticky on the notes saying "YOU GOT THIS" to help boost your confidence.

 

I'm familiar with the concept of a brief phone interview so both parties can establish some basics before proceeding to the next step of a formal, in-person interview. I know this is a standard screening process.

 

What's new to me is someone asking casually for a "quick chat" but then it turns out that is the ONE AND ONLY interview, without any follow-up. (I should mention that I do freelance work and these jobs fit into that category. But both were local jobs with long-term commitments, so it's really weird to me that they didn't want to meet in person. But, hey, I learned my lesson!)

 

The other advice is solid, thank you. I will say that I tend to sail smoothly through "standard questions" while more quirky, unexpected questions (some of which are very specific to the job) can throw me off and spin me into a little panic. I'm not great at bullsh*tting off right on the spot.

[CarrieT]

A job coach would be a good idea.

 

That's what I was going to say.

 

When I became redundant with a job, part of their severance package included a job coach. Now I'm no wallflower and have no problems with interviews, but I utilized the service anyway and was shocked at what they told me.

 

First off, the one I worked with did extensive guidance on interviews and THEN filmed a mock-interview to show you the highs and lows and how to work around the pitfalls.

 

I highly, highly recommend these services - especially if you have these issues!

[littlesister1234]

I did the job coaching thing. It really does work. I highly recommend it. With job coaching, I was able to find a full time job within 3 months. My final advice for interviews would be to give a genuine smile and eye contact. Don't show them you are afraid to take on anything. Show them you want it.