That's all folks..

[na49]

Have you actually done anything this summer to better your life? darkbloom is right, it's page 44 and your progress is still incremental. I feel like you almost revel in staying in the muck out of fear or something.

 

I am working two jobs right now, so I don't have much time outside of that. I'm happy to be working though because I never worked this much when I was with my ex. I am trying to be more social at work, and do feel like I am getting better. Seeing my friends when I can (they all work). I have been exercising almost every day. Trying to get a better idea of where I want to be after college, and what I want to do with my psychology degree.

 

Besides all of that, no I haven't done anything. I don't know what else I'm supposed to be doing though. I don't think I'm ready to date right now, even if it is casual. I feel like I'd fall too hard.

 

Also, mtnbiker, It's my school email dude. I can't change it. I need it, at least for the next two semesters. The only thing I can do is not check the trash folder, which is what I need to work on.

[na49]

Just an update/question.

 

There's a girl at work who gave me her number, and was texting me earlier. She's very talkative/social (ironically like my ex, I don't know why a shy person like me seems to attract this type of person), but she was texting me a lot. I have no idea what to make of this because it's never really happened before. The last time it did happen, I ended up with my ex lol.

 

She is around my age which is nice because most people at this job are like 3-4 years younger than me or much older than me. I guess she'd be a good friend to have, but she seems like she can get annoying. I don't want to be mean by ignoring her because I'd see her at work, so I'm really confused.

 

Should I just continue to text her/get to know her? My brain defaults to "relationship mode" when it comes to girls. Even if this girl is just looking for another friend, I'd have no idea.

Edited August 2, 2015 by na49

[mtnbiker3000]

Just an update/question.

 

There's a girl at work who gave me her number, and was texting me earlier. She's very talkative/social (ironically like my ex, I don't know why a shy person like me seems to attract this type of person), but she was texting me a lot. I have no idea what to make of this because it's never really happened before. The last time it did happen, I ended up with my ex lol.

 

This is pretty common with many / most women!! They really do like to talk / text / etc. They crave affection and attention... You need to get used to this and realize it doesn't have to mean anything. I say go with it, with NO thought of a relationship!!! Just have fun!!!

[na49]

This is pretty common with many / most women!! They really do like to talk / text / etc. They crave affection and attention... You need to get used to this and realize it doesn't have to mean anything. I say go with it, with NO thought of a relationship!!! Just have fun!!!

 

I think that's what I'm dealing with here, but I have no experience. I don't know the difference. One of my friends told me that this girl asked for another guy's number, so she seems to want attention from guys. I don't think it'd be a bad idea to talk to her every now and then. Right now, I just want to focus on getting better at talking to people. I'll go with it, and not expect anything.

 

edit: She asked me to hang out today, but I have work. She asked me when I'm free. I'm starting to worry because I've never really done this before. I don't want to commit to a certain day or time, because I honestly don't know if I want to hang out with her yet. I just met her yesterday.

Edited August 2, 2015 by na49

[mtnbiker3000]

Shes not asking you for a kidney. She just wants to do something fun and spend a little bit of time with you. If she tries to make it something more, just tell her it's a little too soon, but you are enjoying getting to know her...

[fancy feast]

I think that's what I'm dealing with here, but I have no experience. I don't know the difference. One of my friends told me that this girl asked for another guy's number, so she seems to want attention from guys. I don't think it'd be a bad idea to talk to her every now and then. Right now, I just want to focus on getting better at talking to people. I'll go with it, and not expect anything.

 

edit: She asked me to hang out today, but I have work. She asked me when I'm free. I'm starting to worry because I've never really done this before. I don't want to commit to a certain day or time, because I honestly don't know if I want to hang out with her yet. I just met her yesterday.

 

Dude...

 

Relax. You're not committing to anything by hanging out with her. You've got nothing to lose.

[na49]

I chickened out and told her I was really busy this week (which isn't completely a lie). Thankfully she is still interested.

 

She asked me if I'd ever want to go out on a date. I basically already told her I'm busy this week, but said we could do something at some point. We seem to have a lot in common which is nice. I already crossed out this week when I told her I was busy.

 

I know how bad it is to date in the workplace. I'd hate to ruin my job because this ends up failing. Should I let her know that if we went on a date, it's just as friends?

[dumbass2]

Go hang out with her as soon as you get the chance. It will be good for you. Just relax like others have said and do not think relationship. Just think of it as getting to know someone else and going out and having a good time. If she hints to the physical, just tell her you prefer to get to know her a little more.

[Chi townD]

She's interested because you're a mystery. You're shy and don't have a lot to say. So, she wants to find out that there is to find out.

 

 

Oh, and by the way, you're an idiot. SHE ASKED YOU OUT! Girls never ask guys out as a general rule. So, for her to muster up the nerve and ask you out IS BIG!

 

 

Call that girl up and firm up a date already! She's not asking for a relationship. She's not asking for marriage. She's just asking for an evening out WITH YOU! GO OUT! HAVE FUN! ENJOY HER COMPANY!! MAKE HER LAUGH! SEE WHERE THE EVENING TAKES YOU!!! NOT EVERY GIRL IS LIKE YOUR EX! HELL! MOST GIRLS AREN'T LIKE YOUR EX! THIS.MIGHT.BE.GOOD.FOR.YOU!!!!

[na49]

It's terrible of me to say this, but I've compared her to my ex, and she isn't as pretty. I know how awful this is, especially when she could end up treating me much better. Should I let her know what I'm going through when it comes to my ex? That I'm trying to get over her still?

 

Also, she's texted me a lot. I keep the conversation going, and try to respond whenever I can. I feel odd doing this though, we aren't bf/gf so do I need to respond to everything she sends me? How do you text a girl that isn't your girlfriend?

[Chi townD]

It's terrible of me to say this, but I've compared her to my ex, and she isn't as pretty. I know how awful this is, especially when she could end up treating me much better. Should I let her know what I'm going through when it comes to my ex? That I'm trying to get over her still?

 

Also, she's texted me a lot. I keep the conversation going, and try to respond whenever I can. I feel odd doing this though, we aren't bf/gf so do I need to respond to everything she sends me? How do you text a girl that isn't your girlfriend?

 

Don't do that. And SO WHAT!!! She's still pretty. Hell, All girls are pretty. But, it doesn't seem like you're apposed to an attraction. She might be the coolest girl you ever met in your life!! And someone that can be a really great friend to you at a minimum.

 

 

A big reason why a lot of relationship fizzle out really quick is because you have two people that have a deep attraction for each other. And they burn on that lust and passion. It gets pretty hot and heavy for a while. But, like with all flames, it will burn out and then they're just two strangers looking at each other. BUT! If you give it time to get to know each other; your likes and dislikes, your trust and your fears are communicated to each other. And when the lust and passion burns out, you might be standing there looking into the eyes of your best friend. And THOSE are the relationships that last.

[Simon Phoenix]

Like with everything else, you're overthinking to an extreme. Text her back when you want, go out with her when you want. If you don't want to, don't. This s--t ain't rocket science.

[frigginlost]

It's terrible of me to say this, but I've compared her to my ex, and she isn't as pretty. I know how awful this is, especially when she could end up treating me much better. Should I let her know what I'm going through when it comes to my ex? That I'm trying to get over her still?

 

Also, she's texted me a lot. I keep the conversation going, and try to respond whenever I can. I feel odd doing this though, we aren't bf/gf so do I need to respond to everything she sends me? How do you text a girl that isn't your girlfriend?

 

I'm going to let you in on a little secret here, buddy.

 

First, don't ever compare.

 

Second, and this is important. You are comparing more than likely because you would care what your ex thought about her. I can guarantee you one thing; regardless of what she thinks of her look wise, it is going to stick in her craw that you are happy with somebody else, regardless of what they look like.

 

Remember that.

[Chi townD]

Lost is right. She'll also think, what does she have that I don't have?

[Riptide91]

Na, I stopped by to see if this god awful thread was still dragging on since I was looking for some advice in the dating category. I see some progress though, and my only advice today is to go out with that girl. Just do it. If you end up not clicking then so be it, no harm no foul. I wouldn't worry so much about all the little things like workplace relationships, if she's prettier than your ex, etc. Just have fun and chill out. You have come a long way my friend!

[na49]

Thanks everyone. She's being very upfront about her interest. She asks me if I miss her, and crap. She actually came by today even with another one of the girls that I've been talking to.I heard a few people talking about her, and they didn't seem to speak too highly of her. I'd hate to listen to them, because they aren't exactly perfect people themselves.

 

I still wonder how she could be so attracted/interested in me when we barely know each other, and just met. I'll see her at work tomorrow, so we'll see how that goes. Stay tuned lol.

[na49]

Well she is very social/talkative, so she's let everyone know that she's interested in me. It made me a little uncomfortable to be honest, and if this is how weird it is with her just liking me, I feel like dating her would be even worse. However, I do still want to talk to her as a friend. She texts me every now and then, and always accuses me of "missing her" (even when I don't really, I think it's just flirting)

 

I don't want to give her the wrong idea by texting her random things, or starting conversation. I was a little stand offish when I saw her at work because I was uncomfortable with everything. At the same time, I don't want to lose her completely.

Edited August 6, 2015 by na49

[Chi townD]

What do you mean that everyone was talking bad about her? What were they saying?

[Situasian]

Wow I haven't been on this for a while but logged back on to see this thread still here lol. NA I think you should go on a date with her tbh it wouldn't hurt that's for sure. I'm currently dating someone who I normally wouldn't have dated and i can tell you right now she is amazing and I'm glad I took the chance. Make sure you don't miss out!

[na49]

I'd heard that she may have dated her boss at another job she had (he was 23). I can't tell if she is only interested in me because I'm around her age or not. I also don't know if that relationship just recently went south, and that's why she got attached to me so quick.

 

Obviously just hanging out shouldn't mean anything more than that, but I feel like it'd give the idea that I was interested in her. I honestly don't know how I feel about her right now.

 

Another thing I find odd is she says she "misses me" a lot. I've barely known her a week, so I don't know what to make of it. I don't really "miss her", but when she asks me, I tell her I do.

 

lol this thread is my journal. I'm glad to hear you're doing well Situasian!

[Simon Phoenix]

I'd heard that she may have dated her boss at another job she had (he was 23). I can't tell if she is only interested in me because I'm around her age or not. I also don't know if that relationship just recently went south, and that's why she got attached to me so quick.

 

Obviously just hanging out shouldn't mean anything more than that, but I feel like it'd give the idea that I was interested in her. I honestly don't know how I feel about her right now.

 

Another thing I find odd is she says she "misses me" a lot. I've barely known her a week, so I don't know what to make of it. I don't really "miss her", but when she asks me, I tell her I do.

 

lol this thread is my journal. I'm glad to hear you're doing well Situasian!

 

Too much thinking. Either go out with her or don't.

[Harradin]

Hey Na,

 

I used to comment on a few of your threads a couple of years ago if you remember, especially the 'why do I feel worse' thread

 

Memories (ish) aside, stop thinking and ask this girl out if you're interested in her and see what happens! And don't compare her to the ex!

[na49]

Well, I am going to do it. I don't think I have much of a choice because she asked me again if I wanted to hang out, and I couldn't blow her off. She seems to want it to be a date, where I wanted it to be more of just a hangout. She also sounds like she really wants this to turn into a relationship, and I am still hesitant because I work with her.

 

She said it would only be outside of work, and she wouldn't bring it up at work. When I brought up the fact that a breakup would be awkward she said we could still be friends (if only she knew) I feel like that would never work though because people at work would find out one way or another. I hate having to friend zone her, but I really don't know if dating her will work for me.

 

I've never really hung out with a girl before without her being my girlfriend, so I have no idea how to handle this. I'm pretty nervous.

[Simon Phoenix]

Well, I am going to do it. I don't think I have much of a choice because she asked me again if I wanted to hang out, and I couldn't blow her off. She seems to want it to be a date, where I wanted it to be more of just a hangout. She also sounds like she really wants this to turn into a relationship, and I am still hesitant because I work with her.

 

She said it would only be outside of work, and she wouldn't bring it up at work. When I brought up the fact that a breakup would be awkward she said we could still be friends (if only she knew) I feel like that would never work though because people at work would find out one way or another. I hate having to friend zone her, but I really don't know if dating her will work for me.

 

I've never really hung out with a girl before without her being my girlfriend, so I have no idea how to handle this. I'm pretty nervous.

 

You are moving 14 steps ahead -- RELAX! You haven't even been out with her, stop planning on what will happen when you break up if you even start dating in the first place. Plus, aren't you going back to school pretty soon? Even if it does die, who cares? You'll be back on campus.

 

There's no need to make this bigger than it is. It's a date, that's it. Chill.

[na49]

You are moving 14 steps ahead -- RELAX! You haven't even been out with her, stop planning on what will happen when you break up if you even start dating in the first place. Plus, aren't you going back to school pretty soon? Even if it does die, who cares? You'll be back on campus.

 

There's no need to make this bigger than it is. It's a date, that's it. Chill.

 

She's pushing hard for a relationship right now, and as badly as I want a girlfriend, I don't know if I'm ready. I keep having to let her down easy, and I had to tell her that I'm coming out of a bad relationship. She got upset, but seems to have understood. She still wants to hang out. This is what friend zoning someone must be. I'm telling her there is hope later on because there really is, but I understand how that sounds like bullsh*t. She says things will be awkward now that I know she likes me, but we can't be together. I'd really be down for dating her, just not right now. I guess that's what everyone says though...

 

This is the best update I've given since I joined this forum. I'm actually going somewhere with another girl. What a crazy concept.

Edited August 9, 2015 by na49