That's all folks..

[mtnbiker3000]

Can we take bets on how long this relationship lasts? I say for a lifetime. I think she finally found "the one". :sick::sick:

 

1 minute? 1 week? 1 year? A lifetime? Who cares? You should not even know any of this. If people are telling you these facts, than go NC on them too. After the shock and initial back and forth after my breakup (maybe 3 or 4 weeks), I've discovered exactly zero, zilch, nada about my ex. Dead? Alive? Married? Fat? Hot? I have no idea. And I don't want to know, ever. She's a ghost!!

[na49]

I tried staying away from this website (and my computer in general) because I was starting to feel better. I got the strength to ask a girl out, and the initial pain of being rejected last week brought me back. Obviously this unexpected news doesn't help either. I feel like as long as I am on campus with her, I always run the risk of seeing her/hearing about her. I can't wait to graduate next year for this reason.

[dyna85]

My fiance left me 2 weeks ago and I'm already seeing plenty of light at the end of the tunnel. I've been at the gym every day after the initial few days of shock and started playing jazz guitar again, took up meditation, arranged a surfing trip soon with my brother, lost 10 pounds, eaten ridiculously healthy every day. What are you doing to improve yourself? It really works. I'm still bloody down every day but I am getting moments of happiness. I think you're quite young - I'm 35 soon and my wedding was cancelled, I'll never get the keys to the apartment we had a deposit on, and I don't think I can ever commit to marriage again.

Some chick dumped you. Seriously, big deal, you need to get over it, and yourself.

 

If it were only this easy. Dude, the break up occurred for na only like what.. 3 months ago, not even. I think it's cool if you're already making monumental strides 2 wks after a broken engagement, but I think honestly, it's not atypical for someone to still be hurting and analyzing things ~3 months after a breakup, when the relationship lasted ~4 yrs. Emotions don't resolve in a snap like that and it is a big deal when your heart is broken. To tell someone 'big deal, get over it' is callous and rude.

 

I think the purpose of this forum is to lean on others for support while dealing with heartache and advice like this is just added salt in the wound.

[Simon Phoenix]

I tried staying away from this website (and my computer in general) because I was starting to feel better. I got the strength to ask a girl out, and the initial pain of being rejected last week brought me back. Obviously this unexpected news doesn't help either. I feel like as long as I am on campus with her, I always run the risk of seeing her/hearing about her. I can't wait to graduate next year for this reason.

 

You still don't get it. It's not about her, it's about you. Who cares what she's doing, how long it can last, all of that. For god's sake, take inventory and control of YOUR life. You asked a girl out -- that's nice, but one rejection from one random and you give up and go back into sad bastard mode. Once again, if you put in the energy that you put into to maintain your shell into actually evolving and moving forward, you could do some great things.

 

Have you tried to meet people or join any clubs or organizations? I know what the answer to that question is and I know there will be a litany of excuses behind it, but I'll ask anyway.

 

Who cares about her? Let her do her. It's not your concern. You have a lot of work with just on your stuff. So stop delaying. Chitown D is right, it's ridiculous that you are 30-plus pages in and have barely started trying to heal and evolve.

[Riptide91]

**hops back on misery-go-round**

 

Cmon na49, I thought you were progressing out of this and moving on. I've seen you give great advice to others and essentially post some things which showed improvement. Hell, I understand feeling down sometimes, I know I still do, but I definitely don't let "little birdies" tell me anything about my ex. I don't even allow those kind of people in my life anymore. I think you have two choices here.

 

1. Re-read this whole thread and see all the help and advice everyone has tried to offer and how you've dodged and ducked it every time. Honestly, it should embarrass you a bit how long this has gone on for the simple fact we're 30+ pages and you're falling back into caring about whatever the hell this silly little girl is doing with her life. LIVE YOUR LIFE, NOT HERS.

 

2. Get off LS for a while again and forget about her. I'm starting to wonder if maybe this site keeps her in your life one way or another and you need that to feel okay.

 

Enough is enough.

[Hopeful714]

Ehh maybe we are being a bit rough. After all it took me a good two years and the first one was awful going through all the holidays alone with tons of memories.

 

Well na, your ex is now a girl gone wild! You are gone gone gone from her life and thoughts! Yea this sucks (I dealt with the same) but I'm telling you NOW is the time to focus and build yourself. Again, picture where u want to be 5 yrs from now and bust ass to meet those goals. If you do that, if you ever do bump into her in the future you can be proud of yourself and hold your head up high....and she will look like well....a ho bag? Lol

 

You really should turn this thread into a more positive diary of what you are doing to recover. I like that idea a lot.

 

Be thankful you didn't beg! Lol

[na49]

I don't mind everyone being harsh to me at all. I deserve it. I haven't moved much at all since the breakup, but I think I deserve a little slack. I haven't gone looking for this information recently. I didn't ask for her to email me when she did (okay I shouldn't have read it), I didn't ask her to make a fake Facebook account to message me, and I didn't ask anyone if she was seeing someone new. I just overheard people talking in the hallway before class.

 

I think that I'm being misunderstood though. There's no "misery go round" this time. I was "miserable" over getting rejected by that girl I asked out, but I'm not feeling upset over this. Sure, in a few days the pain of her screwing ANOTHER dude might bother me, but I'll get over that like I got over the pain of her screwing the last dude. It's become funny how quickly she moves from one guy to the next.

[mtnbiker3000]

It's become funny how quickly she moves from one guy to the next.

 

That's her true colors. You, like many of us including myself, simply created a fantasy of who you thought she was and what you thought the RS was. The reality was something entirely different. Her current behavior is reality. All those memories, feelings, emotions and views you had of her, were fake. Fantasy. Make believe. What you thought you wanted in order to be happy. You were using her for happiness. For validation. For approval. Problem is, none of it was real!!

 

This is classic 'nice guy' behavior...

[na49]

I've been staying away from my computer, exercising, finally have been getting involved with a club on campus, trying to talk to random people, but I'm still having problems..

 

I feel great until I see her. Any time that I see her, all of my feelings come back. I don't even want her back anymore, but I look at her and feel sick. I think about her getting it in every direction from the guy she left me for, and now this new guy.. I feel like our relationship was just for her to show off, and I'm "another guy" to her. I wanted to believe that I was special to her though. Two breakups and however many guys later, I finally realize that this is who she is. It still doesn't make it hurt any less.

[dangerbang]

I've been staying away from my computer, exercising, finally have been getting involved with a club on campus, trying to talk to random people, but I'm still having problems..

 

I feel great until I see her. Any time that I see her, all of my feelings come back. I don't even want her back anymore, but I look at her and feel sick. I think about her getting it in every direction from the guy she left me for, and now this new guy.. I feel like our relationship was just for her to show off, and I'm "another guy" to her. I wanted to believe that I was special to her though. Two breakups and however many guys later, I finally realize that this is who she is. It still doesn't make it hurt any less.

 

Why are you basing your self-worth on some chick?

[Simon Phoenix]

I've been staying away from my computer, exercising, finally have been getting involved with a club on campus, trying to talk to random people, but I'm still having problems..

 

I feel great until I see her. Any time that I see her, all of my feelings come back. I don't even want her back anymore, but I look at her and feel sick. I think about her getting it in every direction from the guy she left me for, and now this new guy.. I feel like our relationship was just for her to show off, and I'm "another guy" to her. I wanted to believe that I was special to her though. Two breakups and however many guys later, I finally realize that this is who she is. It still doesn't make it hurt any less.

 

What you are going through is normal. You took so long to delay these type of feelings that you are having them now. Keep exercising, meeting people and being active and these feelings will fade through time. I'm assuming your semester is over pretty soon too, so you won't be running into her on campus very much at all. I think a summer completely away will finally get most of this out of your system.

[Chi townD]

I've been staying away from my computer, exercising, finally have been getting involved with a club on campus, trying to talk to random people, but I'm still having problems..

 

I feel great until I see her. Any time that I see her, all of my feelings come back. I don't even want her back anymore, but I look at her and feel sick. I think about her getting it in every direction from the guy she left me for, and now this new guy.. I feel like our relationship was just for her to show off, and I'm "another guy" to her. I wanted to believe that I was special to her though. Two breakups and however many guys later, I finally realize that this is who she is. It still doesn't make it hurt any less.

 

 

FINALLY!! Progress in the RIGHT direction!

 

 

Dude, that chick is a frickin doorknob, everyone gets a turn with her. That should make you feel disgusted rather than sad. As many people has she's been getting with, just think to yourself the next time you see her that she probably has herpes by now.

[smellysocksuni]

Hey Na.

 

Just came back onto the forums after a while away and saw your thread, was a little concerned but it seems you're making some sort of progress?

[na49]

I'm thinking that a summer with no possibilities of seeing her will help. I've got plenty of things to look forward to this summer, and hopefully will have a new job. I still have a chance of running into her next year, but once I graduate, I will probably never see her again.

 

Another stupid fear that I'm having is seeing her while I am doing things on campus. Most of, if not all of the activities for the club are on campus. She lives on campus, and I'd probably see her around. Every time I see her, the feelings come back. I don't know how to stop them. I saw her today, and fought like hell to stop it from affecting me, but I just couldn't. (that's partially why I'm venting here)

 

I still feel sad about what could have been between us, and sick about what actually happened. Everything she has done since breaking up with me just makes me sick. Even her emails/fake Facebook account all seem so f*cked up now. The way she jumps from one guy to the next makes me feel so used. I should have never taken her back the first time.

[Hopeful714]

I think what your feeling on campus as you get involved with your new activities is normal. But I also think as you continue with them you will feel a growing sense of self esteem and as you become really comfortable with your new life a sense of pride...in a good way. If you can afford to, go buy yourself some new threads (clothes) to match the new you and you will really gain a bit of swagger! Lol. You'll be amazed at how little you care about seeing her then!

 

keep remembering what she did. Make a list of these things to refer to when you feel yourself getting sad, or feeling hurt. Yes, what she did was sick. But you are away from it now. She can't hurt you anymore. You won't let her. Your gonna be just fine!

[na49]

That's true. I try to remind myself that I'm going to have a chance of seeing her on campus for the next year. There's nothing I can do about it. I feel pathetic for being this afraid of seeing her. Seeing her automatically gives me this sad/sick feeling, it's hard to explain.

 

It sucks seeing her talking to her friends, and knowing that I don't have as many people in my life. Even with the clubs, and talking to random people, I realize that I suck at making friends.

[Hopeful714]

But you will meet friends.....real ones. Wouldn't you rather have a few dependable great friends to support you instead of a bunch of acquaintances that only support your popularity?

 

It's still early...give it time.

[Simon Phoenix]

Honestly, you just need to get through this semester. Once you have the summer away where you won't see her at all you'll be able to get yourself to the point that when you arrive back on campus, seeing her won't be nearly as cathartic. In fact, you'll eventually get to a point where you barely feel a thing. But you can't sit there like a lump of crap this summer.

[na49]

Outside of working, exercising, and trying to meet with my friends as much as I can, what else can I do? My friends all work, so it's not like they are always around for me to hang out with.

 

I really don't want to be a sad sack all summer. It's the biggest reason I am still kind of dreading this summer. The warmer weather has gotten me so depressed because I have no one to enjoy it with. I think about her dressing in cute summer outfits, and not being able to see her in them. Yeah, I know it's pathetic. At about 3 months post breakup, I'm going to let myself off the hook on that.

[Simon Phoenix]

Outside of working, exercising, and trying to meet with my friends as much as I can, what else can I do? My friends all work, so it's not like they are always around for me to hang out with.

 

I really don't want to be a sad sack all summer. It's the biggest reason I am still kind of dreading this summer. The warmer weather has gotten me so depressed because I have no one to enjoy it with. I think about her dressing in cute summer outfits, and not being able to see her in them. Yeah, I know it's pathetic. At about 3 months post breakup, I'm going to let myself off the hook on that.

 

Dude, you know how many girls will be in cute summer outfits? I mean, come on man. Don't invent things to wallow about

[na49]

I've been doing well so far, and don't really feel that bad right now. I am taking my relationship with her for what it was. (not a good relationship) My counselor has helped me realize the only real way to stop thinking about her is to simply not feed the thoughts. It's easier said than done when she's all I want to think about, but I've done alright so far. There's a lot to look forward to in my life.

 

There is one major thing that I'm still struggling with. Whenever I have down time, I find myself checking the Trash folder of my email. I check it, and then log out, but it's so annoying. I obviously want to see another email from her, but it's not like I feel upset when I don't. I know that I wouldn't respond to any email, and I know that she's currently with someone so she won't be emailing me unless that relationship fails. If there was a way for me to block emails from her completely, I would have an easier time.

 

Oh well, just writing in my diary.

[Twigyy]

It's easier said than done when she's all I want to think about.

 

That's your problem right there. Let her go. She won't be yours anymore.

[na49]

If only "letting her go" was that easy to do. She hasn't been "mine" since she let another guy inside of her. Now there's already ANOTHER guy? :sick:

 

This weekend hit me hard because I don't have anything to do. My friends are all busy, I don't have any work to do, I already worked out. I was feeling good for a while, so I guess this had to happen.

[Situasian]

hey NA you will be fine mate. Just keep plugging along. TBH i felt like crap about 1.5 weeks ago but in the last few days i have felt great and am sure i am over my ex now and i was with her for 4 years and broken up now for 6 months. Just keep working at it and stop worrying about her and starting doing things for yourself champ

[na49]

Thanks man, I don't know if I am "over" her or not but I think I miss having a girlfriend more than I miss her. She's all that I knew, so of course when I miss having a girlfriend, I think of her. She really didn't treat me that great anyway.

 

I walked past her in the hallway today and as she saw me coming I heard her say something under her breath like "oh no.." in a disgusted tone. I am not asking for answers as to what it meant, and maybe I was hearing things. I analyzed it in my next class, but I don't really care now. I felt sick watching her pass me There were no feelings of sadness today, just anger/disgust. I really can't wait for this semester to be over so I won't have to worry about bumping into her for 3 months.

 

I've got myself another job for this summer, so I'll have extra money in my pocket. There isn't much left to do with the club that I got involved with because the semester is over now, and I have a lot of vacations and fun things planned for the summer. It's about time I started worrying about myself lol.