amyO Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I've been affected by various anxiety disorders as well as depression my whole life. However, the biggest problem for me is my social anxiety. I absolutely despise it. It can make me feel so upset and I always hate myself for it. My social anxiety over the years has become worse in some cases. My freshman year of college, I began not being able to eat in front of others. I literally cannot pick up a utensil because my hands shake so bad. I've suffered from a horrible public speaking fear and I'm terrified to do most things by myself in general. It's been a tough life living with all these fears and trying to push myself past the limits I've given myself. I'm proud that I've been able to have had a few small relationships with guys, i've gone away to school for college, graduated cum laude with a degree in psychology, made some good friends along the way and even recently received a new job. It's always been challenging, but I will never fully give up and I will keep trying my hardest. I still get upset that I can't seem to feel 100% comfortable around anyone though. I'm always nervous, anxious, fidgeting- feeling like I don't know what to say. I'm so awkward that I feel at times I make others awkward because I'm uncomfortable. What's worst is I feel people have certain expectations of me. I'm an attractive and pretty young girl. From the outside I scream confident, but on the inside I'm always in turmoil. I feel like I'm some weirdo and I will never be truly confident. I'm scared I'll never meet a guy and feel good about myself because I'm always worrying about every little thing. I worry about future jobs and friends as I feel I'm never at peace. It makes me so depressed. I don't know how to beat this all. I've been in therapy for a few years now. I'm uncertain how to make changes and become confident. Even trying to fake confidence. Link to post Share on other sites
Liveman Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 Hey Amy, Question.. what is it that you feel confident at? What are your strengths? What are you passionate about? Reading? Writing? Work? etc. Let's start with answers to these to give everyone a perspective of you aside from your social anxiety. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author amyO Posted February 3, 2015 Author Share Posted February 3, 2015 Hey Amy, Question.. what is it that you feel confident at? What are your strengths? What are you passionate about? Reading? Writing? Work? etc. Let's start with answers to these to give everyone a perspective of you aside from your social anxiety. Mhm I guess some of my strengths and passions lie within a few things. It sounds silly, but i've always been really good at putting together outfits. Ive been told i have great fashion sense. I also love decorating. I can't get enough of decorating rooms in my house. Besides those things: i've always loved working with kids. children always seem to be drawn to me. I guess i have a really genuine and sincere presence and they can sense that. I also adore helping others. From as little as holding a door open for someone to going out of my way to help someone in need. It is in me to want to help Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 I don't know how to beat this all. I've been in therapy for a few years now. I'm uncertain how to make changes and become confident. Even trying to fake confidence. Get a new therapist. If you have been in therapy for years but your confidence level has not improved & you still can't eat in front of others, the therapist you have is ineffectual. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author amyO Posted February 3, 2015 Author Share Posted February 3, 2015 Get a new therapist. If you have been in therapy for years but your confidence level has not improved & you still can't eat in front of others, the therapist you have is ineffectual. I've seen different therapists over the years. I've gone to this psychotherapist before and she is the best person i've encountered for my anxiety and problems. I've had anxiety and confidence issues my whole- it's not something that can go away in a day. However, how i felt before therapy and how i feel now is a big difference. Yes, i still have self- esteem issues and lack confidence, but i was worse before. I'm just upset that I still deal with this on a daily basis. My therapist has done a lot with trying to help me with eating in front of others- however, at the end of the day it's up to me to face it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author amyO Posted February 3, 2015 Author Share Posted February 3, 2015 I will say though- i've been thinking of exposure therapy to help me with eating in front of others. I do like my current therapist for talking about my past, myself, problems i faced in life, etc,but i think an exposure therapist will help me the most with my eating phobia. Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 I've seen different therapists over the years. I've gone to this psychotherapist before and she is the best person i've encountered for my anxiety and problems. I've had anxiety and confidence issues my whole- it's not something that can go away in a day. However, how i felt before therapy and how i feel now is a big difference. Yes, i still have self- esteem issues and lack confidence, but i was worse before. I'm just upset that I still deal with this on a daily basis. My therapist has done a lot with trying to help me with eating in front of others- however, at the end of the day it's up to me to face it. my brother is mentally ill - severely so - so this is just one of the many issues he has as well. not the eating one, but other social anxieties. the best advice is small steps, very small steps that will make you feel good about yourself and help your confidence increase little by little. pick one issue you really want to work on - like eating in front of others - and challenge yourself to overcome that at work next Tuesday, or whatever. sit in the break room with other people and have a cracker, suggest a coffee and donut break with a co-worker, whatever it is to help take that step. you can't solve all of the problems in one fell swoop and probably won't, since this will always be a part of you, but you can make little changes to make you feel better about yourself. and the advice we always give my brother - don't explain yourself to others or tell them what you have unless you absolutely have to. sometimes other people judging you, or the fear that they are, is worse than the actual problem, and you only need to confide in people you really trust Link to post Share on other sites
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