Disoriented by a dream about a past friend...what do you think this signifies?

[Anaida]

I used to be friends with this guy online for about three years. He was a nice friend and a great way to pass time, and we grew closer, though in a strictly platonic sense. We were very similar in personalities, headstrong, stubborn and as a result often got into clashes and heated arguments. Our friendship managed to remain strong though. With time, I secretly began to wish that he'd like me. It was not that I liked him, mind you, but I wanted him to fall for me so that his ego which he expected me to massage up every now and then (my refusal leading to fights) would take a beating before me. Then, one night, I dreamed that he had met me at a shopping mall with his family, and his mother telling me that he liked me and wanted my hand in marriage. The dream felt good, and then I woke up, feeling weird, and hopeful. That day, a common friend told me that he liked me. I was over the moon. Then a few days later, it was accidentally revealed that he actually liked that common friend of ours, and she was trying to hook me with him by telling me that lie about him liking me. I'd posted it in detail in this forum:

 

https://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/friends-lovers/480936-i-m-serious-dilemma-listen-my-heart-brain

 

As I've written here, my hope was dashed and I gradually broke off all contact with him.

 

Its been over eight months since I last talked to him, and had sort of forgotten about the whole episode. I didn't even remember him much after a couple of months had passed. But yesterday night, I had a dream which left me flustered all over again.

 

I dreamt that I'd run into his house somewhere, and he asked me to come help him do some chores. I grudgingly agreed. We sat on the floors doing the work (something to do with Academics), and then, when it ended, I got up, feeling irritated. But then, as if on cue, he said to me, "Do you really think I never liked you? See what I had bouht for you as a gift", and then he pulled out a white, glamorous dress for me and handed it to me.I started melting with joy, and then the dream ended. As soon as I knew it was a dream, I felt the same crushing feeling that I'd experienced after the previous dream (about him proposing for marriage).

 

My question is, why did I get this dream now, when I'd totally forgotten about him, and even the occasional faint memory of his did nothing to me? Does this have any greater significance than it appears?

[imtooconfused]

It means a lot less than you think. While you say that it's been months since last contact and that you have "forgotten about the whole episode", your subconscious mind is still trying to process your feelings of loss.

 

It's not hard to see what the gift of the white dress represents and that your subconscious still harbors the desire. My guess is that the desire of your subconscious is not so much about this particular man, but rather the desire for some man to "want your hand in marriage." It is probable that this particular man appeared in the dream because he remains the most recent or perhaps closest you have come to consciously thinking that way, even though you have done well to repress those feelings from your conscious mind.

 

None of this changes the fact that he likes the common friend and is not the right man for you.

Edited February 3, 2015 by imtooconfused
typo

[preraph]

Your subconscious is just processing it. It could be that you stopped thinking about it as much while awake, so your subconscious took over the task. It's not a bad thing.

 

About what you say about him needing his ego fed, it's never good to be with a guy constantly looking for that ego boost. For one thing, it usually means deep down, they're don't have good self-esteem. But mainly, those are the guys who never stop flirting and cheating with women, because they need to be constantly assured they are attractive enough.

[Anaida]

Imtooconfused: You're probably correct. Just that I was quite disoriented about a long-sailed ship resurfacing again. And I didn't want to relive those feelings.