sadandlonely2005 Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 My boyfriend and I have been going out for about a year. We are living together. I am a single mom and my boyfriend is not my son's father, but my son loves him just as much. I am also a full-time college student 8 months away from graduating. Last tuesday i came home from school and my boyfriend was nowhere to be found. So i went over to my sis's to chat. Well when i got home I walked in on my boyfriend sleeping with another girl in our bed. I freaked out and now I have no idea what i am going to do. We were in the process of buying our first home and I put alot of money into him. I am so lost right now and don't know what to do. I know i shouldn't stay with him but i love this man so much. Can anyone help me? Link to post Share on other sites
sweetpea01 Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 I'm sorry to hear about that. I've been cheated on before - and I know it's the most heartbreaking feeling in the world. His cheating shows an unbelievable amount of selfishness, and for it to be in your own house shows so much disrespect. And all the while, you are out going to school and work - investing in yourself and him - in order for the 2 of you to have a better life. Ask yourself if you can ever look at him the same way again. Can you take those mental images out of your head? Are you the type of woman who could get over cheating? Cause if not, you're going to bring your child into a rocky marriage. And is that the "male" role model you want around your son, anyway? Do not stick with him b/c of all you have invested..that would be the wrong reason. After my cheating, I stayed almost 3 yrs. b/c I couldnt let go....but I could not live with it either. Good luck! SP Link to post Share on other sites
very-confused-girl Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 I am so angry at him for what he did to you! The has no conscience at all! How did he explained to you what he did? What was his excuse??????????? Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 What did you do when you saw him- how did it play out in real life?? I work with a girl who hid in her neighbors garage and then went home and busted in on her H with a golf club and a video camera! Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted April 2, 2005 Share Posted April 2, 2005 Show him the door! If he truly loves you, he will beg you on his knees to take him back. But you should remain determined to not have him back. If he cares enough, he won't give up so next time (if any) you can set the rules. One more mistake and he's out of your life for good. You don't need anyone getting your child emotionally attached to him just to find out that he's scum. If you simply forgive him, he will do it again and again. If he was so inconsiderate to bring this girl in your bedroom then don't expect that he will keep his promise not to cheat on you again ever. You'd be a fool to believe that. It's not like you've been married for 10 years and you had a huge fight then he got drunk and it just happened. This is a first-degree cheating for no reason at all. This guy is a dog! Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise Posted April 3, 2005 Share Posted April 3, 2005 He did it in your bed (he's basically trying to get caught)? Kill him or at least ditch him. Link to post Share on other sites
seamaid Posted April 10, 2005 Share Posted April 10, 2005 You deserve someone who isn't morally retarded. He was a bad apple. Wrong choice. Spit him out! Now you know so much better than to make the same mistake again. Link to post Share on other sites
krbshappy71 Posted April 10, 2005 Share Posted April 10, 2005 Originally posted by seamaid You deserve someone who isn't morally retarded. He was a bad apple. Wrong choice. Spit him out! Now you know so much better than to make the same mistake again. She knows better than WHAT? What do you mean make the same mistake again? What mistake has SHE made? Trusting someone to be true to her? Give me a break. Girl, I'm sorry for your loss. Only you can make the decision to stay or not. Hang in there and take care of yourself and your child. Link to post Share on other sites
seamaid Posted April 10, 2005 Share Posted April 10, 2005 I didn't mean to say that it was her fault. By no means was it any fault of hers that this guy chose to betray her-- infidelity was absolutely under his control. I've been in a similar situation though, where I've been cheated on by someone I loved and trusted completely, and in my case it was partly because I chose to keep loving someone who simply wasn't mature, even though the signs were there. I want to emphasize that I'm only speaking from my personal experience and I never meant to imply that all people who've been cheated on should feel like they "made a mistake" or did anything"wrong" ever. No one deserves to be cheated on. The kind of "mistake" I'm talking about is the same kind that makes one laugh at the idea of ever having been so smitten with bad exes years later. I'm sorry if my point missed its mark (by yards). Link to post Share on other sites
powerslag Posted April 10, 2005 Share Posted April 10, 2005 Once a cheater always a cheater. Sometimes you've gotta be ruthless. If they cheat dump them. Cheaters are weak willed and they don't consider other peoples feelings. Plus you won't ever really be able to trust that person again the way you initially did. Link to post Share on other sites
liswil Posted April 12, 2005 Share Posted April 12, 2005 Originally posted by RecordProducer Show him the door! If he truly loves you, he will beg you on his knees to take him back. That's not a good sign that a person loves you. There's a number of reasons they will beg to come back---financial, familiarity, guilt, kids, etc... I wouldn't go by that. Link to post Share on other sites
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