Inlovewithabrit Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 Hello to all! I am very new to this, I have never been in a Long Distance Relationship before. I will try to keep this short Back in early Sept of 2014 I first met my LDB. Now we meet through xbox live. Which my brother got me into playing. However, me and him met and we did not click instantly, he was very clingy at first, but I gave him a chance still. And we are so madly in love now. I love him more then anything. However, I am a bit older then him, not by much but I am five yrs older then him. Though he acts more mature then me and has a very old soul which I just love about him. It has been five months now and we are talking about me and him meeting for the first time. He wants to come down to the US and we are talking about him coming this fall to enjoy the holidays with me and my family. He says he really wants to and he says he needs to see me and to just be with me. Sweet right? Well here is the thing, he has no job. He does not expect me to pay for it, even though I have offered to pay half for the trip down here. Seems far to me. Though doing some researching, he will need to bring efficient funds to support himself in the US, from what the VISA gov website was stating. I have told him this, as well he needs to save money for half of the air far. He told me he is working on finding a job. That was three months ago! He is now saying he is going to school which will take at least 5-6 months with no job! I tried telling him to go to school and work? Something to save up some money. He keeps telling me that school right now is better because it will ensure him to have a great job in the future which I fully support him doing. I just do not understand as to why he keeps telling me he wishes he can see me now and cannot wait to see me in Sept, when he wont get a job to save money. He goes back and forth on it. He will state maybe not in Sept, we will need to see what happens, or I am applying for jobs but no one is hiring me, he will not work fast food or any temp job to at least save some kind of money. Then he will turn around and be all I need to see you now, I cannot wait, if I had the money I would fly down there now to see you. I am starting to feel like he is just giving me a bunch of BS. I told him I am not interested in an internet relationship. I love him but I need to be physically with him and to actually meet him. Though I feel he does not want to work at all and really does not want to see me. I am confused on this. Please if anybody has any advice I am really glad to listen. Thank you for taking the time on reading this. Sorry for it being so long. :) Link to post Share on other sites
emi Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 actions speak louder than words. Move on girl Hello to all! I am very new to this, I have never been in a Long Distance Relationship before. I will try to keep this short Back in early Sept of 2014 I first met my LDB. Now we meet through xbox live. Which my brother got me into playing. However, me and him met and we did not click instantly, he was very clingy at first, but I gave him a chance still. And we are so madly in love now. I love him more then anything. However, I am a bit older then him, not by much but I am five yrs older then him. Though he acts more mature then me and has a very old soul which I just love about him. It has been five months now and we are talking about me and him meeting for the first time. He wants to come down to the US and we are talking about him coming this fall to enjoy the holidays with me and my family. He says he really wants to and he says he needs to see me and to just be with me. Sweet right? Well here is the thing, he has no job. He does not expect me to pay for it, even though I have offered to pay half for the trip down here. Seems far to me. Though doing some researching, he will need to bring efficient funds to support himself in the US, from what the VISA gov website was stating. I have told him this, as well he needs to save money for half of the air far. He told me he is working on finding a job. That was three months ago! He is now saying he is going to school which will take at least 5-6 months with no job! I tried telling him to go to school and work? Something to save up some money. He keeps telling me that school right now is better because it will ensure him to have a great job in the future which I fully support him doing. I just do not understand as to why he keeps telling me he wishes he can see me now and cannot wait to see me in Sept, when he wont get a job to save money. He goes back and forth on it. He will state maybe not in Sept, we will need to see what happens, or I am applying for jobs but no one is hiring me, he will not work fast food or any temp job to at least save some kind of money. Then he will turn around and be all I need to see you now, I cannot wait, if I had the money I would fly down there now to see you. I am starting to feel like he is just giving me a bunch of BS. I told him I am not interested in an internet relationship. I love him but I need to be physically with him and to actually meet him. Though I feel he does not want to work at all and really does not want to see me. I am confused on this. Please if anybody has any advice I am really glad to listen. Thank you for taking the time on reading this. Sorry for it being so long. :) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Inlovewithabrit Posted February 3, 2015 Author Share Posted February 3, 2015 Wise words, thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 It's not worth getting too involved with a person who is not fully engaged with life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
emi Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 Wise words, thank you. It will be rough. But the sooner you go NC the better. I think there is a NC guide in Break ups section. Vent here if you need, dont be so hard on yourself. And hell, some man never grow up and own up to their words ( not your fault!) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
umirano Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 He's just playing... Obviously he isn't serious about any of what he said, otherwise he'd live up to his promise to get a job. You don't want to be in serious long-term long distance relationship with a person like this 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Inlovewithabrit Posted February 7, 2015 Author Share Posted February 7, 2015 No I do not. It is hard to do the NC, I have recently started to slowly do it by texting him here and there, but he really does not seem to notice since he is so involved with his xbox. He would rather play that all day then talk to me, the person he is really so madly in love with, as well go look for a job. I am starting to lose interest in him. Its sad because I thought he was the one, he is so kind and can be so loving when we Skype. But its same crap. Thanks for everyones advice. I really appreciate it. Link to post Share on other sites
umirano Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Just stop talking to him, find real live friends and activities to do. If he ever cared about you he will sooner or later notice that you're not contacting him. Then you can politely but firmly explain to him that you don't see this online romance go anywhere and that you don't see yourself in a virtual relationship with him. He can remain your gaming buddy, but given his lack of investment you don't see this going anywhere. Link to post Share on other sites
Blehh Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 I am starting to feel like he is just giving me a bunch of BS. I told him I am not interested in an internet relationship. I love him but I need to be physically with him and to actually meet him. Though I feel he does not want to work at all and really does not want to see me. I am confused on this. Please if anybody has any advice I am really glad to listen. Thank you for taking the time on reading this. Sorry for it being so long. :) this is the biggest indicator that you need to move on. you making two threads about it is even more proof. i'm sure you love him, more so as a friend if anything and nobody on here will ever fully know your feelings for him but at this point it just sounds like an infatuation & especially on his part it's not going to go anywhere. he needs to get himself together in life and you'll probably need a break from this. find friends and stuff to do to get your mind off of him. Link to post Share on other sites
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